[MBTI General] ENTP/ENFP relationship?

[pinkgraffiti]

why, hello there. <3

A) usually i just end up sulky-faced because "other people don't understand"
because they haven't taken in account the massive amounts of self-justification
and perspectives i've weaved in to justify whatever i did--(because honestly it's
not the outcome that i'm focused on, it's always about the pursuit and also
the joy of improvisation)

YES!!! God, I love you guys! Thank you for understanding me!

 

[Hyacinth]

Personally in my experience, it's been the most understanding compatible relationships I've -ever- been in. I <3 my entp.

 

[Society]

EDIT: Actually there is, theres a lot more to say on this...hmm i need to think about it and come back.

please do - your the only Fi user that tastifies to develop values you didnt get from your parents.. it might point us towards what's wer'e missing here.

 

[Istbkleta]

^Thats a classical entp ...

Not sure I understand. What you mean. Could you rephrase?


How's ISTJ land working out for you?


PS Regarding Fi hating ENTPs: Fi users are likely to dislike Ti by default. It's called a preference, because you prefer one function over the other. You LIKE one and DISLIKE the other. It's that simple. Then it's easier to dislike somebody who embodies the qualities you don't like (Ti) and which are the exact opposites of your own preference.

With all the PC rules (hello immature Te protecting oversensitive Fi ... ) people forget what the theory is all about.

You are supposed to feel "bad" about Fi and "good" about Ti (most of the time). It's your "preference". You prefer one over the other. It's that simple.

 

[entropie]

PS Regarding Fi hating ENTPs: Fi users are likely to dislike Ti by default. It's called a preference, because you prefer one function over the other. You LIKE one and DISLIKE the other. It's that simple.

It's never that simple, live aint math. And if you was to meet a Fi user who hates you, you can use that as a learning experience for yourself to gain a new perspective on life and to find out why that person hates you. If you are lucky and that person lets you in, you can grow from that in dimensions of wisdom you cant imagine.

I mean look at me. I even like you, tho I find your avatar utterly tasteless .

 

[sculpting]

Why are you telling us this?


Btw, I disagree with you. It's not only the tetr, the aux is also problematic. I can't honestly say I am OK with the way Fi works. ENFPs are also "not fans of" Ti.

For a grotesque depiction of how the world percieves ENFPs, please see the character of Linda in

.

as to your first Q, because that other entp guy asked for an elaboration of Fi from an enfp?

why "not OK" with Fi? are you logically or morally offended? How do you perceive the notion that others have an innate right to thier own biologically designated worldview?

I do agree that Ti and Fi are incredibly alien to one another. however in my experience, they tend to be less offensive, given the are intorverted and thus somewhat hidden by the monster of Ne-we dont get what we dont realize is there. I have had 5 entp best friends in a row and I cherish each of them, even in our alien, weirdness, as they are just kick ass awesome people.

edit-wait is that the chick who planted the flower garden on the roof for the imaginary project ? Ha! that was awesome!

More interesting enfp characterisations might be from the series "dead like me". Her weirdo OCD, way emo boss is very vomitly TJ enfp and the reaper who jumped off the cliff is a pretty classic enfp. Interestingly I would argue both were being seen from the infj perspective.

 

[Istbkleta]

I find your avatar utterly tasteless .

O, rly. Why?


Want to describe how you experience Ti? Perhaps such descriptions would illustrate why I think it's perfectly normal to dislike functions that are different.

 

[funkadelik]

O, rly. Why?

Does Germany have boobs there?

 

[Lady_X]

The way Fi feels to me is a bit like really complex fuzzy principles grounded in a physiological, visceral network. (The INFPs describe it as being like a tree with big and little branches, where thickness is the importance of the value in question)

These fuzzy principles derive from childhood. Each time I perceived someone else to be hurt, I internally, emphatically reflected their hurt as my own. In a physiological way, where my stomach gets tense and I get anxious and I can internally "feel" a mimic of whatever their hurt was. Each time this happens, the unpleasantness builds in an "away-from" reaction and those things that cause pain for others become labeled as "bad". Over time, the expereinces add up to produce a generalized, abstract value-principles.

For instance "speaking harshly to another is bad" might be a value. If I violate this and speak harshly, I internally feel anxious, stressed, guilty and even a bit ill.

However eventually things get more complicated...what if a person is hurting another person? It is bad to let that continue.

Thus now it becomes a value-principle weighing process. "Speaking harshly is bad" vs "letting others be hurt is bad".

Thus I may speak up and defend the other person in a harsh manner...and feel no guilt as internally I was okay with the second value-principle overruling the first, as it serves to be consistent with a much deeper core value of "people should not be hurt".

Complicating the matter is that there are a number of very core values-do not hurt others, maintain integrity, be forthright, be dedicated, be responsible...all which have to be weighed in each situation to determine the best answer.

The values seem to start off fairly broad and simplistic, however with age and experience, they develop more and more complexity and refinement-resolution. The values can also be context specific to the situation-thus a generalized value may not hold in a particular situation. (This is how new values form or resolution is added to an existing value)

As more Te grows in, the values also began to be viewed in a more global perspective. "it isnt okay to hurt others" vs "we all are part of the same work system and are dependent upon one another, and if you do not hold up your end of the deal and do your work, you need to be replaced" . Recognizing that it is now the benefit of an entire group at stake, it becomes okay to inflict some amount of hurt on the slacker, via letting them go find a new job elsewhere.

^^my perspective of course.

(As for the thread, I think enfp-entp would be extremely difficult to maintain as people develop their tert functions. We both use our tert function as an immature defensive tool, which we each, mutually, find very disagreeable to be on the receiving end of. enormous amounts of communication and acceptance would be required)

i so adore your willingness to break it down like that...i just don't have the patience..like ever...


and regarding the video...who's the enfp?

 

[HotpinkHeatwave]

I know a few ENTPs. To be completely honest, I usually just want to sleep with them. Not sure why, could be their personalities, appearance, or both.

 

[DisneyFanGirl]

Okay, this thread is completely derailed but I was asked to tell you about the date I had with the ENTP. It was last weekend and it was... amazing. That's what scares me. The exact things you all described are happening. We're both really attracted to each other and we not only enjoy each other's company, we can be honest and be ourselves around each other. And that's so refreshing. We make each other laugh, we have the same core beliefs, and we're really communication and commitment focused. Honestly, I've never felt this way about anyone else... ever! Is this just Ne? Is there no other foundation? Will his Ti and my Fi clash eventually? I mean I know I'm really sensitive, I told him that. He's totally okay with it. I'm really shy, he's really outgoing and that actually works to our advantage.

First off, I've known this guy for 2 years and we hit it off from day 1. But we were both in different places in our lives and dating never even occurred to us. Then I got interested last August and dropped some hints. It took until January to get him to ask me out. And he told me he really didn't have any expectations going into it. But... WOW it was like an explosion of feelings.

This ENTP really isn't very argumentative like they say ENTPs are supposed to be. We've had some disagreements in the past 2 years but nothing we couldn't resolve. I don't really like arguing and it doesn't sound like he does either. We're both free spirits who love to talk about nonsense for a bit and then suddenly dive into a deep conversation out of almost nowhere. Yet the transition is pretty seamless for us. We share almost exactly the same interests and sense of humor. We love spending time together and whenever it's time to say goodbye, it feels like it hasn't been long enough. I've never felt a connection this strong with another guy before (but all my female friends and I are like this, we have a deep friendship and no matter what comes between us, we figure it out).

As much as everyone's going to groan at me for saying this, I honestly think this could work. I've never felt this deep a connection to any other guy. And I think he feels the same. In fact, while I go on forums like this and pick apart every detail, trying to figure out any possible mistakes we could make, he's been the emotional one who tells me he wants to give this a try. In fact, he's been more of a feeler than I have!! Could this be an Fe/Te clash? I'm not sure. I would love to hear some advice from all of you. I'd like to think we have more than just Ne to sustain a relationship. And since we're both so commitment focused (that's right... I found a guy who wants to commit. Feel jealous, ladies ) we have a very real possibility of taking this past a dating relationship if all goes well for a few years.

Long story short, ENTPs are AWESOME and I'd like to find out why the ENTP/ENFP relationship keeps failing.

EDIT: In the enneagram, I'm a 6w7 and I'm pretty sure he's a 7w6. I don't know that for sure but it's an educated guess.

 

[You]

if this is true, and while ignoring the place of sx, we could expect the instinctual variants to be:
Fi users - sx/sp sp/sx sp/so
Fe users - sx/so so/sx so/sp

that would be interesting... it does fit with me (Fe - sx/so)... are there any statistics matching MBTI with instinctual variants?

the list might work for dominant, but ENTP and ENFP vary a long the enneagram variant spectrum. there are definite ENTP here who are sx/sp. and ENFP often are so/sx or sx/so. there isn't enough of a correlation for instinctual variants to axillary and tertiary functions for your theory to hold any weight, but with some more research it could hold some water.

 

[Istbkleta]

Hey [MENTION=15299]DisneyFanGirl[/MENTION]

Good luck with your affair. Sounds exciting.

 

[starlight162]

Hey everybody,

I admit, I've been following this and other fora and platforms for a while, but just haven't been active much...but I came across this thread and just wanted to get the discussion going again, and to share my perspective.

I'm pretty much a textbook ENTP, although in times of crisis more INTP-like, which is when I know that something's wrong in my life.

I'm a guy in my late twenties, and after two catastrophic relationships with ENTJs, I've been in a relationship with an ENFP for the past year and a half, and we're now engaged.

At this point I want to especially thank [MENTION=15291]Mane[/MENTION] for the comments and insights and also questions which have really been insightful.

I'll go into more detail at a later point, but for now I can confirm that it is really the Fe-Fi nut that's the toughest to crack. Yes, one of the examples discussed has been the difference in how we create our own value systems, but essentially it comes down to something simpler - Fe just means that the focus is on your partner's feelings and that you try to understand and also address his or her feelings in the context of the relationship in order to solve conflicts in a relationship. In fact, for myself, as for many Fe.s I'm sure, I've found it often easier to understand other people's feelings than my own. This being the other way round for an Fi creates several problems, that are intensified in an ENTP-ENFP relationship because it just seems so silly to have these conflicts when you're just so similar in so many other ways.

To give a concrete example, whenever we fight, which happens rather frequently, I prefer to get it out in the open immediately, whereas I get the impression that ENFPs first have a need to take some time for themselves and process some feelings alone before actually being ready to talk about everything, and when they do, they do it solely from their own emotional perspective.

Now, the good news is that with some awareness, this can become a minor problem - if the ENTP has some other Fe close to them, friends or family, that "get them" emotionally. One of my friends is an ENFJ, and while we're not that close because I think we just don't find each other that interesting, at times he's managed to play that role, to make me feel understood, and to "recharge my emotional batteries". Which I really need because I'm surrounded by a lot of Fi.s in my life.

The Ti-Te difference has not been a big issue in my relationship. We have very similar values and principles, although the way we've developed them and the way we defend them is quite different. It seems like ENFP's value sets are more closely linked to their childhood and past experiences. For instance, both me and my ENFP are libertarians. I have rather socially conservative parents, and I've questioned their ideas from an early age on; whereas my ENFP grew up with a quite libertarian mother. We both had issues with our fathers, but they seem to have influenced my ENFP much more than me.

From an ENTP perspective, I think if we date an ENFP, we have to be aware that the Fe-Fi difference means that we just cannot expect certain things to be as (easy or) fulfilling on an emotional level as it would be typically expected to be in a romantic relationship. But the chemistry that comes with the fact that you're so similar but different (I do find the Te in the ENFP quite attractive ) almost guarantee for great times. If you can work through the rest, that is.