[Type 8] Perceptions on type 8's

[InTheFlesh]

I'm a 9, and I noticed whenever I'm around anybody I suspect to be a type 8 there is just something inside of me that feels uncomfortable or unsafe. I think this might just be because I'm a 9 and I have a tendency to over-examine the vibe of the group I'm in, but I'm not sure.

Is there anyone else that feels this vibe around 8's, or am I just crazy?
Scratch that second question, I already know I'm crazy

 

[ThatGirl]

I get along fine with 9s.

 

[BlackCat]

I used to be like this with 8's, but after understanding what they are really about it's fine. I'm especially attracted to 8w9s. If an 8 starts intimidating me then I just enforce my boundaries in my 9 like way, non directly but getting the point across.

We may have a very different perspective on this though since you are an so/sp and I'm sx/sp, opposites.

 

[InTheFlesh]

It might also be because I had a very unhealthy step-father who had a lot of 8 qualities. He really brought my wing out

BlackCat, I have a separate Enneagram question for you. Do you find yourself as a toss-up between a 9 and a 5? I do, but my 9w1 friend doesn't, so I'm wondering if it's just the wing that makes the difference.

 

[BlackCat]

It might also be because I had a very unhealthy step-father who had a lot of 8 qualities. He really brought my wing out

I have the exact same relationship with my step mom, who is an 8w7 so/sx. The so first doesn't help either. We had a really bad relationship, and neither of us would compromise. That's the thing, when 9's and 8's get into conflict neither side budges. The 8 is an unstoppable force, the 9 is an immovable object. Both people have to compromise to get along if they have issues.

After 8 years of having a horrible, horrible, relationship, we eventually understood each other and compromised. But you have to want to for that to happen.

BlackCat, I have a separate Enneagram question for you. Do you find yourself as a toss-up between a 9 and a 5? I do, but my 9w1 friend doesn't, so I'm wondering if it's just the wing that makes the difference.

Nah, not really a toss up. Anyone who enjoys studying theories like this will probably see that they have some 5 traits, and also you're an INFJ. Plus, 5's are the worst with their instincts, and 9's are detached from their instincts. After having read about 5's and knowing a good amount of them, I don't feel that there is a toss up with them for me.

Perhaps you have 5 in your tri-type like I do? I definitely have some 5 traits, but it's not my dominant type at all.

 

[ilovereeses]

One of my best friends is an 8w7. He's really fun to be around, even though he is constantly picking on me. He's really helped me find my 8 wing and know how to use it.

 

[InTheFlesh]

Plus, 5's are the worst with their instincts, and 9's are detached from their instincts.

Huh, my closest friend is an INFJ 5w4 and his instincts are almost always spot on

Perhaps you have 5 in your tri-type like I do? I definitely have some 5 traits, but it's not my dominant type at all.

This might be asking a lot, but could you explain the "Tri-type" deal to me? I never was really told what it was, and there's no better way to learn it than from a fellow 9

 

[InTheFlesh]

One of my best friends is an 8w7. He's really fun to be around, even though he is constantly picking on me. He's really helped me find my 8 wing and know how to use it.

That might be another reason I don't do well around them, I'm very a fragile, sensitive guy and seeing others being picked on or intimidated bothers me like no other.

I find my 8 wing contradicting my 9 root constantly and it really messes with me internally
But I guess that's just part of being an unstable INFJ

 

[BlackCat]

Huh, my closest friend is an INFJ 5 and his instincts are almost always spot on

Well, in an enneagram sense. It's hard to explain really. My instincts are usually good. It's just a certain kind of energy. For a point of contrast, 8's are the best with their instincts.

This might be asking a lot, but could you explain the "Tri-type" deal to me? I never was really told what it was, and there's no better way to learn it than from a fellow 9

Basically everyone thinks in terms of Instincts, Feeling, and Thinking; represented by a type in each triad. But the order that people do that is individualized.

So you have one instinctive, one thinking, and one feeling type in your tri type. For me it's 9w8>5w6>2w3; that being the order that those types affect me in my daily life. The 2w3 is definitely in affect for me, but it's a bit dim and unconscious. You basically just determine it based on studying the types and seeing which motivations resonate with you.

I find my 8 wing contradicting my 9 root constantly and it really messes with me internally

Oh me too. It can be rough sometimes. I just have to maintain some self control over the w8 and be assertive when I need to and hold back when I need to. To satisfy the 8 part of me, I just "let go" of some people. If I'm not interested in maintaining the peace with them, then the 8 takes over. But it gets a bit difficult with my personal relationships. It's all contextual. But I can be extremely conflicted too.

 

[InTheFlesh]

Well, in an enneagram sense. It's hard to explain really. My instincts are usually good. It's just a certain kind of energy. For a point of contrast, 8's are the best with their instincts.

So instincts and intuition are different, yes?

So you have one instinctive, one thinking, and one feeling type in your tri type. For me it's 9w8>5w6>2w3; that being the order that those types affect me in my daily life. The 2w3 is definitely in affect for me, but it's a bit dim and unconscious. You basically just determine it based on studying the types and seeing which motivations resonate with you.

Ok, I think I can already set out my tri-type. I've read through The Wisdom Of The Enneagram by Don Riso twice and I'm kind of surprised I never came across that. I can say with no doubt that I'm 9w8>5w6>4w5. I always thought I was a mixture of the "Head Space Types" (A term that my group of friends use). I felt like my friends didn't even take me seriously because I felt like this, it's nice to know I was right

Edit:Typo

 

[BlackCat]

So instincts and intuition are different, yes?

Yeah, they are. I've actually never clearly understood what they were talking about when they were referring to instincts.

 

[InTheFlesh]

Haha I'm not either. My friend's intuition is what I was talking about, for some reason I though instincts and intuition were the same thing for a few moments.

 

[6.4]

I'm a 8w9 (with a heavy 9 wing) and generally feel unsafe around 8's I don't know. Doesn't help that I can see 8's a mile away and they can see me. When I see one I armour myself up immediately. I always have one eye on them, watching their movements and I know they're doing the same. I generally try to avoid conflict with them and I can tell a lot of time they don't act too aggressive towards me, it's very weird tense territorial animal stuff.

 

[bionic]

I believe I am an 8w9. I have a soft aggression to me although I can easily be forward and confrontational. I have an issue with this at work since my boss is an ESTJ. He drives me insane and harbors every mistake I make onto everyone. These aren't even huge mistakes either. They're tiny little details like missing a number on an address or something stupid like that. He sweats the small stuff way too much. This constantly gets on my nerves and I find myself biting my tongue because I know I will blow up at him if I don't. Anyone else suffer from this? :/

 

[Rena]

I think Eights are one of those types where wings and health make a HUGE difference in how they come across. An 8w7 can be the more strereotypical assertive, confrontational type. They aren't always, but they can pull it out if they need to. That intensity is overwhelming for many people- me included. And if they are unhealthy- look out! They can tear you up and spit you out if you cross them. I happen to love 8w9's though- the Nine wing just chills out some of their tougher traits. This is all about Eights, you might find interesting:

Enneagram type Eight- what makes them tick? | AllPersonality.com

 

[Moiety]

I tend to dislike most other 8 guys I know...I wonder if this is a form of self-loathing...

 

[Lady_X]

I think Eights are one of those types where wings and health make a HUGE difference in how they come across. An 8w7 can be the more strereotypical assertive, confrontational type. They aren't always, but they can pull it out if they need to. That intensity is overwhelming for many people- me included. And if they are unhealthy- look out! They can tear you up and spit you out if you cross them. I happen to love 8w9's though- the Nine wing just chills out some of their tougher traits. This is all about Eights, you might find interesting:

Enneagram type Eight- what makes them tick? | AllPersonality.com

that is interesting...i wonder what makes some feel protected while others feel intimidated.

edit: read the rest...that's cool. i think i really like what 8's are about.

 

[KDude]

I like the ones that carry themselves that way out of defense or knowing their own competence.. Like they let actions speak for themselves, and speak their mind if challenged or questioned. But don't think the ones who act that way as a rule or when people don't even know them or what they do are all that cool. I pity them in a way. You can't accomplish much if all you do is go through life relying on intimidation. One day, someone knocks them out in front of everyone - and then intimidation doesn't work later either. They're left with nothing.

I'm really not sure if 4, 6, or 9w8.. I feel a connection to 8 myself, but I'm not sure what it means in 9.

 

[highlander]

I believe I am an 8w9. I have a soft aggression to me although I can easily be forward and confrontational. I have an issue with this at work since my boss is an ESTJ. He drives me insane and harbors every mistake I make onto everyone. These aren't even huge mistakes either. They're tiny little details like missing a number on an address or something stupid like that. He sweats the small stuff way too much. This constantly gets on my nerves and I find myself biting my tongue because I know I will blow up at him if I don't. Anyone else suffer from this? :/

Yeah. I used to. Then I realized the reason it bothered me so much is that I could be guilty of it myself.

 

[Rena]

Yeah. I used to. Then I realized the reason it bothered me so much is that I could be guilty of it myself.

So true. We don't always get along with people who have our same quirks. There's something to be said for opposites attract.