Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts Am I SO or SX?

[mrcockburn]

All I know is that I'm not SP dominant. I'm too wild and crazy for that.

Why I Might be SeXy:
* I like people
* I'm reckless (bungee jumping, swimming with stingrays, surfing, skydiving, backpacking through Asia alone, the way I drive...LOL)
* I'm disorganized
* I'm really bad at the networking thing, I meet LOTS of people, but I'm TERRIBLE about keeping in touch with anyone.

Why I Might be only SO so:
* I hate obsessive clingy people (a la the last boyfriend I broke up with...)
* I'm invariably the class/office clown
* I'm hyper and get bored too easily (hence the 'risky' stuff that grows mom's gray hair)
* To me, it's much better to have MANY friends that you can circulate and always have stuff to do with, rather than just a few 'deep' people.

Who am I? Oh, and IGNORE my signature until further notice.

 

[Aleksei]

You're probably sx/so or so/sx, likely the former if you suck at networking. Which one do you identify most strongly with?

 

[Totenkindly]

SO aims for a broad networking connection and is satisfied with that. It feels self-esteem in an environment where it can contribute to the community and play a role. That broad social network IS the goal and gives the person a place. The focus on the broad network means there is not necessarily a drive to know someone in great depth; you're still legitimate within the community just because you're part of it.

SX aims for deep intimate connections with individuals. It wants to know and be intimately known. The SO network can be used to make initial connections, but the goal ultimately is to go DEEP.... down down down to the bottom... with each person, whoever is willing to dive with you, and there can sometimes be a feeling of disappointment with those who are happy with the broad connection and don't want to go deeper. Each individual relationship is an entity in itself.

Why I Might be SeXy:
* I like people
* I'm reckless (bungee jumping, swimming with stingrays, surfing, skydiving, backpacking through Asia alone, the way I drive...LOL)
* I'm disorganized
* I'm really bad at the networking thing, I meet LOTS of people, but I'm TERRIBLE about keeping in touch with anyone.

Why does this have anything whatsoever to do with SX?

Frankly, you could be SX, SO, or SP. BUt you don't sound very SX to me. You sound like you're casual towards obsessive intimacy; I'd expect you either to enjoy jockeying for position with broad community (more SO or SP related) or maintaining yourself as an individual while enjoying some of the benefits of SO. So have you ever thought of SO/SP?

 

[mrcockburn]

SO aims for a broad networking connection and is satisfied with that. It feels self-esteem in an environment where it can contribute to the community and play a role. That broad social network IS the goal and gives the person a place. The focus on the broad network means there is not necessarily a drive to know someone in great depth; you're still legitimate within the community just because you're part of it.

SX aims for deep intimate connections with individuals. It wants to know and be intimately known. The SO network can be used to make initial connections, but the goal ultimately is to go DEEP.... down down down to the bottom... with each person, whoever is willing to dive with you, and there can sometimes be a feeling of disappointment with those who are happy with the broad connection and don't want to go deeper. Each individual relationship is an entity in itself.



Why does this have anything whatsoever to do with SX?

Frankly, you could be SX, SO, or SP. BUt you don't sound very SX to me. You sound like you're casual towards obsessive intimacy; I'd expect you either to enjoy jockeying for position with broad community (more SO or SP related) or maintaining yourself as an individual while enjoying some of the benefits of SO. So have you ever thought of SO/SP?

See, the "deep DEEP" thing puts me off. Just kind of creepy and invasive.

Really, my aim in life is just to have fun, explore all kinds of new places, try all kinds of new things, meet all different walks of life, and maybe achieve a bit of fame.

Only thing SP about me, is that I try to eat very healthfully (so I don't end up with a disabling disease), I take precautions to not get myself killed or infected with anything weird... LOL I'm pretty simple.

 

[CzeCze]

You don't sound very SX to me. You sound like you're casual towards obsessive intimacy

Yeah, I don't think you sound very SX at all OP. Then again, you are quite young and some things manifest more clearly later in life.

 

[runvardh]

SX isn't just about wanting to fuck either. It's like others have said, it's about the deep connection further than the mirror reflection on the pond. It can be rather obsessive - frustratingly so...

 

[Amargith]

SX isn't just about wanting to fuck either. It's like others have said, it's about the deep connection further than the mirror reflection on the pond. It can be rather obsessive - frustratingly so...

No kidding

 

[mrcockburn]

Ok, ok, let me try the CHEATER'S METHOD.

Which stacking is most common for ENTPs? I can just go with that.

 

[JocktheMotie]

Seem So to me. A bunch of things you described for Sx don't even seem like Sx characteristics.

 

[Kasper]

Which stacking is most common for ENTPs? I can just go with that.

It seems to be pretty individual so that approach won't fly. Like others have suggested your understanding of the different instincts is the issue, so read up.

Good place to look: here, they show the stackings by enneagram.

You strike me as some kind of So-Sp mix.

 

[Aleksei]

SO aims for a broad networking connection and is satisfied with that. It feels self-esteem in an environment where it can contribute to the community and play a role. That broad social network IS the goal and gives the person a place. The focus on the broad network means there is not necessarily a drive to know someone in great depth; you're still legitimate within the community just because you're part of it.

SX aims for deep intimate connections with individuals. It wants to know and be intimately known. The SO network can be used to make initial connections, but the goal ultimately is to go DEEP.... down down down to the bottom... with each person, whoever is willing to dive with you, and there can sometimes be a feeling of disappointment with those who are happy with the broad connection and don't want to go deeper. Each individual relationship is an entity in itself.

That's kinda not what I'd heard the sx variant described as. Way I read it it was:

so- focus on the social order.
sx- focus on fun.
sp- focus on self-preservation.

 

[demimondaine]

^ where did you find it defined that way? i'm sx-primary if we're going more by what jennifer is describing. do you mean "fun" like the pursuit of intense experiences?

 

[Kasper]

That's kinda not what I'd heard the sx variant described as. Way I read it it was:

so- focus on the social order.
sx- focus on fun.
sp- focus on self-preservation.

I'm a sp/so and for me the meaning of life is FUN!!1!

 

[Aleksei]

Are you a 7?

 

[Aleksei]

^ where did you find it defined that way? i'm sx-primary if we're going more by what jennifer is describing. do you mean "fun" like the pursuit of intense experiences?

More or less, yeah.

 

[mrcockburn]

I found a test and got SO/SP.

Does that seem kinda sorta right?

 

[Totenkindly]

That's kinda not what I'd heard the sx variant described as. Way I read it it was:

so- focus on the social order.
sx- focus on fun.
sp- focus on self-preservation.

Ever see Sex, Lies, and Videotapes? When professionals discuss the SX variant, this is a common movie held up as an example (with the character of James Spader), as a Five SX.

SX originally stood for Sexual, but that confused a lot of laypeople; and some of the Enneagram gurus refer to it instead as the "Intimate" variant because it's not really about physical sex, it's about the deep connection/intimacy that people often try to use sex to find.

See, the "deep DEEP" thing puts me off. Just kind of creepy and invasive.

Two comments:
1. This probably means you're not SX, and at least have a partial SP variant... SPs often try to wall out SX types because it IS perceived as invasive.
2. Yeah, it can easily become invasive. SX people have to take real care not to intrude someone's private space, even when they want to be closer to people. This is a problem with SX, just as blocking people out can be a typical SP problem.

So have you ever thought of SO/SP?

You strike me as some kind of So-Sp mix.

I found a test and got SO/SP.
Does that seem kinda sorta right?

Kinda.

 

[CzeCze]

I agree with some kind of SO/SP by default.

After reading your thread about your exboyfriend and other posts you have written about him and your relationship, you are like the dead opposite (way opposite) of SX - namely someone who seeks deep bonding/"knowing" with several individuals. Like, pushes for it, needs it.

From your comments elsewhere you seem to actually recoil from the thought and even have contempt for people you think are "clingy" and not self-sufficient enough.

If you prioritize and value absolute autonomy/independence/being self-sufficient that is more in line with SP.

That's also though why I said some things are latent and express more clearly later in life.

Youth is generally a time where people are going to be as "party hardy" and "commitment phobic" as they ever are.

I think though instinctual variants remain consistent through life though...so maybe someone more well versed can speak to how age does/not affect them.

 

[mrcockburn]

I agree with some kind of SO/SP by default.

After reading your thread about your exboyfriend and other posts you have written about him and your relationship, you are like the dead opposite (way opposite) of SX - namely someone who seeks deep bonding/"knowing" with several individuals. Like, pushes for it, needs it.

From your comments elsewhere you seem to actually recoil from the thought and even have contempt for people you think are "clingy" and not self-sufficient enough.

If you prioritize and value absolute autonomy/independence/being self-sufficient that is more in line with SP.

That's also though why I said some things are latent and express more clearly later in life.

Youth is generally a time where people are going to be as "party hardy" and "commitment phobic" as they ever are.

I think though instinctual variants remain consistent through life though...so maybe someone more well versed can speak to how age does/not affect them.

You stalker! You're totally right though, and I'm probably a little more anti-cling *because* of the last ex. (Who I now believe was probably an SX/SP...I say SP because he didn't seem to care about his other friends and his professional life like a normal ENTJ would).

I probably do have SP in there somewhere (which stands for SPANKABLE ). As for SO, that's the "networking" type, right? I definitely think it's valuable to network, because SO much (lol ghey pun) depends on that for SUCCESS.

$$$$$ c0cKBurN mOn3y YEAH $$$$$

 

[Glycerine]

Six Stacks - the enneagram ...info from the underground