Lady_X
Well-known member
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2008
- Messages
- 18,232
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
- Enneagram
- 784
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
I'm saying Hi![]()
haha!! see...it could be read either way due to my comments in the other thread.
I'm saying Hi![]()
Thank you for providing this insight.
I've personally never found ISTJs to be lacking in apparent depth or emotion. It's the Fi bubbling beneath the surface.
I think many other types also wear the STJ uniform, as our working environment encourages S, T and especially Jness. It's quite possibly one of the reasons that many "ISTJs" seem to lack depth. After all, it's not their true type.![]()
haha!! see...it could be read either way due to my comments in the other thread.
Thank you. Exactly. They were just programmed that way.
You know I was playing around..............................Right?
You don't think that somehow our back and forths about the ISTJ/ENFP relations has me hating you, do you?
hating me? no...just possibly expecting me to say something negative about enfp/istj relations.
Thank you for providing this insight.
I've personally never found ISTJs to be lacking in apparent depth or emotion. It's the Fi bubbling beneath the surface.
IxTJ has ... only a mildly strong Fi, if that.
I think many other types also wear the STJ uniform, as our working environment encourages S, T and especially Jness. It's quite possibly one of the reasons that many "ISTJs" seem to lack depth. After all, it's not their true type.![]()
Oh, no problem. This is definitely true for me, which is probably why I've also tested as INFP. Which is why I disagree with:
Maybe that's true according to the theory, I don't know. But I would say I have rather strong Fi.
It's our true type! And I wear it proudlyEven if others aren't
But yes, pretty much everyone has to work, so the STJ-ness is most apparent and useful there and probably associated with something oppressive for many people.
The thing is, it's not as if ISTJs particularly “enjoy” working and all that “boring” stuff. I mean, who does. I think it's more that ISTJs don't take their feelings into account very much in comparison to what the “right” thing to do is. The advantage of this is that you are able to push through with carrying out tough decisions even when it is at the cost of personal suffering or discomfort or doesn't please other people or will make them dislike you. You don't mind because you subsume your own self into the greater good. Maybe nobody will notice or appreciate it, but that's ok. I think there can be a lot of depth in that kind of attitude, it's just not an obvious depth. I think this can be difficult for Ns to appreciate because they want to change things for the better by leaving a personalised mark, producing something unique and original from them personally.
But sure, as has been pointed out, not being in touch with your feelings and others' feelings is a disadvantage socially and in relationships. This is not an ISTJ's natural ability but it can be learned through life experience.
IxTJ has very weak Fe, and only a mildly strong Fi, if that. The key part you're wondering about is the S or the N. You have, however, already determined the most vital aspect of his personality: he is a jerk.
To a degree, xxTJs are "more likely to be jerks" but not in the way you might think. xxTJs are more likely to unintentionally be jerks, do to social cluelessness (low Fe).
As for S vs N, there really isn't enough information, here. I don't think an INTJ would be quite so preoccupied with sports, but it's not unheard of. For S vs N, it's in the small things. When you spoke with him, did it feel like he was always right there with you, or did he seem to live "in his head"? That would be the main clue. Did he notice/remember really small details? Did he daydream a lot?
That should get you started. Just remember that N or S, "JERK" is its own type, not an MBTI type.
I don't think being mean was something he wanted to be, he always referred to himself as a nice guy. I think he was just very stubborn and arrogant
and as for being there with me vs. in his head... he was more concrete than I was, but I was ALWAYS somewhere else. My S is invisible at best. For example at new years eve we kissed under the fireworks at the city and I was all this is sooo romantic, look at the pretty colors and he was like... yeah, yeah... kinda distant. mostly he just seemed indifferent.
He didn't notice details very much at all unless it involved facebook stalking me, but im pretty sure CRAZY is its own type too
yeah he didn't seem to care about details, despite my lack of detailing, I was always editing his papers myself. I had to tell him his outfits matched. and he judged me for being a brand-name clothing whore, but definitely prided himself on his own wealth...
He seemed indifferent to rules, I know SJ's love them, right? but he is definitely a highly expressed judging personality and thought things like being late to class was rude and silly.... and he was pretty much the anti-dreamer. He did like the tangible, sports (watching more than playing), video games talk radio, but then again he like loved political theory, and religious theory... not that he was religious himself.
any more thoughts?
I'm so curiousssss.
Balanced S/N. Any xTJ male could just as well ignore all the fireworks and stars and stuff, since they aren't strong with the touchy feely aspects. He sounds like he has aspects of both typical types.
SJs are not stickler for rules in all cases- this is usually taken extremely out of context. They do, however, hold close to whatever they perceive as 'the way'- and that is usually based on concrete evidence. That's why I asked about his background and how women are/were viewed during his youth.
his background is well... he's a finance/accounting/business major. he doesnt mind details, but he prefers theories. if this matters: he's well off and thinks this makes him better than everyone else. perhaps these are his own values, and his own 'way".
He hated when people didn't agree with him. and would assume they were stupid. close minded is my word of choice for this delightful fellow.
he was a bit of a romantic tbh, got texts like "Hows the most beautiful girl in the world doing?"
but was also easily put off, judgemental, and cold after the first few months.
he could be either type. I think if I had to guess, I'd say an intuitive ISTJ. are either types more known for being secretive and private and? or is this just an I thing?
i might be generalizing.
Remember this show?
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I think the combination of his type, which is still clearly not defined by your descriptions, AND his cultural background. Have you and he discussed how women were considered in his culture and background? That could be it too.
I'm still getting to grips with the functions so i'm not quite sure what this means.Like mentioned in the previous post, an IXTJ has weak Fi and an even weaker Fe. If he hasn't had it in practice thus far in life, now it is manifesting itself.
He has other traits too, he talks about things in percentages all the time, he likes to talk face to face to read expression and body language. He does not like to chat on the phone or email he likes to see people. He likes facts and figures, prefers to read non fiction, hates sci fi, rates sucess on material gain etc etc.One thing you did say up there, in that last paragraph, is that he 'doesn't like to give up on anything'. That an S trait. He might be an ISTJ, but he isn't an extreme S.
Yes i do believe it is now or never. I want our relationship to work well, at the moment it does work but we are very stuck on certain things. Yes i think culturaly there are differences that play a part. For an Iranian he is very liberal and very into equal rights but for a westener he is very conservative and (to me) very sexist. These things cause problems as i am a feminist (into equal rights for women AND men, not a radical) and very liberal.I agree with uumlau, based on your situation, it's less of the S/N devide, and more of the regard his feelings and yours, Fi & Fe. At age 33, it's now or never for him to change his ways.
his background is well... he's a finance/accounting/business major. he doesnt mind details, but he prefers theories. if this matters: he's well off and thinks this makes him better than everyone else. perhaps these are his own values, and his own 'way".
He hated when people didn't agree with him. and would assume they were stupid. close minded is my word of choice for this delightful fellow.
he was a bit of a romantic tbh, got texts like "Hows the most beautiful girl in the world doing?"
but was also easily put off, judgemental, and cold after the first few months.
he could be either type. I think if I had to guess, I'd say an intuitive ISTJ. are either types more known for being secretive and private and? or is this just an I thing?
i might be generalizing.
funny thing is, if you find a nice IxTJ you'd probably be perfectly happy with him!![]()