Little Gum
New member
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2016
- Messages
- 5
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
- Enneagram
- 4w3
- Instinctual Variant
- sx
I can't stand answering super-specific questions, because I either get too brief or get verbal diarrhea and start talking about everything and anything and then I forget what I was talking about. But I will try. Additional questions are welcome.
I'm female, 33, from one of the three countries with most extraverts in the world according to some survey somewhere. I have generalised anxiety and some borderline traits, but right now, I'm just caffeinated.
1-what makes you angry?
I just typed this on FB, but I'm scared of posting it, because I don't want to hurt the friend whom I saw mock somebody, and I don't want stress, either.
Also, I am angered by liars, people who are all about fame and money and such. Just real values are OK to me, those they teach us when we're really little. Except for the marriage and other social norms - those are scary and put so much pressure on those who cannot achieve them.
2. what do you like/dislike most about people?
Next to what I said about 1, I just spotted this in somebody else's answer and I thought it was spot-on!
3. do you like animals? why?
Dogs and birds are the most magnificent creatures ever. But I love every single animal there is, apart from snakes, hornets and other creepy stuff. I tend to be reserved about people who hurt animals. I have a hyperactive small dog and a hyperactive larger parakeet. Since I tend to be passive most of the time, they motivate me.
4. what do you like most about the favorite people in your life?
They can be there for me and not pat me on the head and think I'm drugged by birth or something - they accept my thoughts when I'm not under stress instead of patting me on the head or whatever, and don't judge me, troll me and such. Also, they're forgiving, caring and mostly spontaneous.
5. what do you like/dislike most about yourself?
I am extremely judgmental, I can burn bridges within seconds, I tend to beat myself up over mistakes I made up to thirty years ago and actually hide away in a corner when I think of them in the middle of the street. I'm scared, anxious and lazy, too. I cannot focus on anything, this test was an effort, too.
6. do you care about being fashionable? why/why not?
I have my own fashion. I don't like it when people are judged for not always being all dressed up, for not wearing make-up etc.
7. do you prefer to fit in or stand out?
I can only fit in by being sound asleep while people are going nuts, partying and being fools for no apparent reason. Wait, I stand out even then. Sometimes, this brings loneliness. There are good and bad kinds of loneliness, it depends. I don't mind it when I stand out for being so hardline, though.
8. what activities do you enjoy?
- Writing, writing and more writing.
- -In terms of poetry, I'm writing a series where a place is a character, a small town that had multiple deaths and two locations, was shattered by a huge quake, burnt down three times and affected by disease - she is a tough cookie and I love her.
- -In terms of prose, most of the things I say comes out as a word salad these days - I have so many thoughts to write down, but I lack flow sometimes. The same happens with blog posts. Hence the mention of people thinking that I am drugs (like that Dali quote).
-- I also write Star Wars fanfiction, mostly placing characters based on people I know in the Galaxy far, far away and living their own little, complicated lives, trying to find their place and struggling with belonging.
- I maintain a website about a reclusive musician and I have an iron fist and a heart of gold there. I don't let people hurt him, sometimes they do, so this activity is not always enjoyable.
- Cycling.
- Photography.
- Sometimes cooking.
9. what makes you feel secure?
My black locust tree. I cannot be me without the presence of that tree. If I have a dream where the tree was cut down, I become extremely disturbed.
10. do you like being in a relationship?
I have never taken any relationship to a serious level, so I guess that my general answer is no, but if there was somebody who would not want to grope me any time they would want to, control me and actually understand who I am, provided that I also liked them (this is hard, I've been attracted to only one person, ever), I would maybe give it a go. But sex is a waste of time, or so it sounds to me. I don't get why people like it that much.
11 what do you love and why?
In no particular order...
The character I'm writing poetry about and her actual, real-life representation. Trees. Parrots. Dogs. Goats. The person I've been fond of most of my life. Writing. The sensation of being in the middle of a process of writing or doing something else that's creative. Ewoks. My friends. The enormous anxiety before going somewhere because I never go anywhere. Picking a stray hair.
12-what do you spend the most time thinking about?
My fears. What others think about me and if that's the reason I'm stressed. How my past shaped my present and how the future could be like. How I should be more efficient and not live day-by-day (LOL, impossible). How people forgot what truly matters and if they have conscience. How the world saturated by sexuality, media obsession and scrutiny horrifies me. When there will be more videos of cockatoos doing funny stuff. And so on.
13-How much have you changed over the years? Who were you as a child?
I am pretty sure that the child me was the closest to what I am at 33. During my teens and twenties, I was forced to play roles and be somebody else, solely to fool others, but mostly myself, into buying a story about how super-friendly and efficient I was. The child me was freely talking about outlandish, strange and impossible stuff and the 33 year old me does the same now. I changed a lot, I improved myself, but eventually, I moved all of that complicated house of cards on top of the same old foundation.
If I should answer more questions, I'd prefer some that are not...super-general. I have a hard time with such concrete things when it comes to the matters of inner life.
I'm female, 33, from one of the three countries with most extraverts in the world according to some survey somewhere. I have generalised anxiety and some borderline traits, but right now, I'm just caffeinated.
1-what makes you angry?
I just typed this on FB, but I'm scared of posting it, because I don't want to hurt the friend whom I saw mock somebody, and I don't want stress, either.
A couple of things really get me aggressive: mocking people in a poor state of mind, scaring people in a poor state of mind and threatening people in a poor state of mind.
And if you're ever pissed off by that, remember that this comes from memories of a child who used to bang her head against things 350 days a year and other kids just cheered on and laughed. And nobody ever helped.
Do I still do that kind of stuff? No.
Would I help somebody who's doing that kind of stuff or would I cheer on and laugh? Take a rough guess.
Would I remind you of that when you're seemingly OK and somebody else isn't or wasn't? The answer to that last one may go in the Schopenhauer direction, whether you like that or not.
That's it, thank you.
Also, I am angered by liars, people who are all about fame and money and such. Just real values are OK to me, those they teach us when we're really little. Except for the marriage and other social norms - those are scary and put so much pressure on those who cannot achieve them.
2. what do you like/dislike most about people?
Next to what I said about 1, I just spotted this in somebody else's answer and I thought it was spot-on!
I like people who are honest and respectful of my wishes, but can't stand fake, loud, or obnoxious people. Manipulation is one of my biggest buttons, as I have a relative who is extremely manipulative and has o it other family members against each other in multiple occassions. I also hate bullies, people who get too close for comfort (especially the huggers...) and then the worst ones are those who criticize people like me who hate all that hugsy crap and treat us like something is wrong with us.
3. do you like animals? why?
Dogs and birds are the most magnificent creatures ever. But I love every single animal there is, apart from snakes, hornets and other creepy stuff. I tend to be reserved about people who hurt animals. I have a hyperactive small dog and a hyperactive larger parakeet. Since I tend to be passive most of the time, they motivate me.
4. what do you like most about the favorite people in your life?
They can be there for me and not pat me on the head and think I'm drugged by birth or something - they accept my thoughts when I'm not under stress instead of patting me on the head or whatever, and don't judge me, troll me and such. Also, they're forgiving, caring and mostly spontaneous.
5. what do you like/dislike most about yourself?
I am extremely judgmental, I can burn bridges within seconds, I tend to beat myself up over mistakes I made up to thirty years ago and actually hide away in a corner when I think of them in the middle of the street. I'm scared, anxious and lazy, too. I cannot focus on anything, this test was an effort, too.
6. do you care about being fashionable? why/why not?
I have my own fashion. I don't like it when people are judged for not always being all dressed up, for not wearing make-up etc.
7. do you prefer to fit in or stand out?
I can only fit in by being sound asleep while people are going nuts, partying and being fools for no apparent reason. Wait, I stand out even then. Sometimes, this brings loneliness. There are good and bad kinds of loneliness, it depends. I don't mind it when I stand out for being so hardline, though.
8. what activities do you enjoy?
- Writing, writing and more writing.
- -In terms of poetry, I'm writing a series where a place is a character, a small town that had multiple deaths and two locations, was shattered by a huge quake, burnt down three times and affected by disease - she is a tough cookie and I love her.
- -In terms of prose, most of the things I say comes out as a word salad these days - I have so many thoughts to write down, but I lack flow sometimes. The same happens with blog posts. Hence the mention of people thinking that I am drugs (like that Dali quote).
-- I also write Star Wars fanfiction, mostly placing characters based on people I know in the Galaxy far, far away and living their own little, complicated lives, trying to find their place and struggling with belonging.
- I maintain a website about a reclusive musician and I have an iron fist and a heart of gold there. I don't let people hurt him, sometimes they do, so this activity is not always enjoyable.
- Cycling.
- Photography.
- Sometimes cooking.
9. what makes you feel secure?
My black locust tree. I cannot be me without the presence of that tree. If I have a dream where the tree was cut down, I become extremely disturbed.
10. do you like being in a relationship?
I have never taken any relationship to a serious level, so I guess that my general answer is no, but if there was somebody who would not want to grope me any time they would want to, control me and actually understand who I am, provided that I also liked them (this is hard, I've been attracted to only one person, ever), I would maybe give it a go. But sex is a waste of time, or so it sounds to me. I don't get why people like it that much.
11 what do you love and why?
In no particular order...
The character I'm writing poetry about and her actual, real-life representation. Trees. Parrots. Dogs. Goats. The person I've been fond of most of my life. Writing. The sensation of being in the middle of a process of writing or doing something else that's creative. Ewoks. My friends. The enormous anxiety before going somewhere because I never go anywhere. Picking a stray hair.
12-what do you spend the most time thinking about?
My fears. What others think about me and if that's the reason I'm stressed. How my past shaped my present and how the future could be like. How I should be more efficient and not live day-by-day (LOL, impossible). How people forgot what truly matters and if they have conscience. How the world saturated by sexuality, media obsession and scrutiny horrifies me. When there will be more videos of cockatoos doing funny stuff. And so on.
13-How much have you changed over the years? Who were you as a child?
I am pretty sure that the child me was the closest to what I am at 33. During my teens and twenties, I was forced to play roles and be somebody else, solely to fool others, but mostly myself, into buying a story about how super-friendly and efficient I was. The child me was freely talking about outlandish, strange and impossible stuff and the 33 year old me does the same now. I changed a lot, I improved myself, but eventually, I moved all of that complicated house of cards on top of the same old foundation.
If I should answer more questions, I'd prefer some that are not...super-general. I have a hard time with such concrete things when it comes to the matters of inner life.