Is this type of behavior normal to you?

[Dreamer]

Well, I think I understood. I'll try to answer some of the questions that @Coriolis using what @Ixaerus said would work.

- Why do you give solutions-based advice?
I guess that it's easier. It's the first thing that comes into my mind. I know that some people just want some emotional support but when hearing somebody I forget that and act in my own way. I can offer emotional support too but this is more like a strategic move like if I want the person to like me, I do it.

Why do people think you are cold? What do you do that makes them think so, and why?

I never notice that I'm distant, I'm always in my head and I prefer to do things alone. Per example, I live with my girlfriend and most of the time I prefer to expend my time using the internet and searching about types and trying to discover my own. She always complains that I don't give her enough attention so I give her some attention but 10 minutes late I'm already bored. When I was a kid I always stayed in my mind and solved my problems alone, this made my mom feel distant from me. I don't know, I also refused to go visit her friends even when she said that people thought she was holding me at home. Because I knew that it was my decision and I just didn't care. I think I also don't care to expectations on me.

In work people usually think I'm dumb or slow because sometimes I see someone that needs help and think "he can do it alone" so I won't help. And I also don't feel the need to explain that to others, so I just let them think of me that way. There are times that I play dumb and pretend I do not know how to do something for someone else to do.

Why do you care about family/friends? What is the nature of those bonds or relationships? In what way are they important to you?

I really don't know, there were times that I got myself thinking if I really loved my mom. It's strange because how do you even know it? How does love feel? I know how a shock feels, how fear feels but love sometimes seems void. I only realized that I loved my grandma when she died and I missed her and I was the only one crying at the funeral and wondered why no one seemed to care so much about her death. But while she was alive I lived near her and never did a visit, never asked how she was or how she felt. Actually, I act with my mom almost the same way, I rarely go to see her but I try to be more gentle and caring. Sometimes I feel guilty about that I don't know if love should feel more than avoid but at the same time I just want to see everybody happy because it would make me happy too I think. I think I can't tell how they are important too. If I try to think about how people matter to me, I won't feel their importance or my love to them, it's more like when I'm close to them and they are laughing, it makes me happy and I realize I love'em. But here, alone with my pc is like I don't feel anything for anybody.


Why do you forget about your lists? Why do you make them in the first place?

I just forget them, it's like this: I think "Hmm, I should make a list of 10 interest of mine so I can develop my Ne" I write them out and don't do anything about and just let the list to accumulate with others... Now thinking about it's like the feeling of accomplishment for making the list is enough so I don't carry out my plans. Yeah, I feel like I've accomplished something so I just jump to one plan from another always starting something and never doing something about it.

Why do I do want to find my type? What I'll make with it?

I was doing ok in life but then I started to feel down and insecure about my career as a musician. So I just got back into studying MBTI in a pursuit to understand myself better. My way of thinking and my motivations. It led to me thinking in give up music to start my second interest which is math. I got confused by my options and started searching everywhere and asking advice, what made me make a choice was a book that defended the idea of doing something you are good at and becoming a specialist so good that others start to notice you. So that way you can become creative and in control of your career, two things that I felt were lacking in my career. That made me realize that I'm more good in music than anything else and even that I'm suffering right now I must suck it up and become better. But still, I want to understand myself because suddenly it became important to know what type is mine, like not being sure of it is like not being sure of who I am. It's a feeling of missing out a piece of a puzzle. Feeling incomplete.

Just thought I’d throw in that I totally get what you’re talking about here and have for the most part been guilty of this sort of habit or tendency for most my life. It really wasn’t until I finally started to find myself no longer stimulated simply by the “planning” part of it, and that stimulation soon came in forms of actually doing and setting things in motion. I still find myself stopping short of actually accomplishing some of my goals, but the point is, the most important part for me is, that my longer term goals and desires in life are those that are constanty in motion. “Silly”, more random goals I might set for myself one Sunday afternoon like eat healthier or exercise more (these actually aren’t issues for me, just common place examples for use here) are the goals that tend to fall by the wayside, but in the end, those really aren’t the goals I wish to hold myself accountable to, or the sorts of goals that I would identify as most representative of “me”.

So ya, thought I’d just drop in as an Ne type to offer my two cents and relation to what you’ve described, and where it all stems from, from my point of view. Happy investigations

 

[Luminous]

- I feel deep emotions, yes. But it's normal to not know how to deal with them and act like a child.

[/B]
No it isn't. Self-control is a thing all people are capable of.

Not knowing how to deal with emotions is normal for some of us, though that need not translate into acting like a child. Self control, then, is not the same as actually dealing with the emotions.

Nope, but it's better than making them everyone else's problem...or making terrible decisions based on said emotions. I think that's more important. But I mean, Te here.

I think far too much is being read into act like a child. It's normal for everyone to have emotions they may not know what to do with, or at least know what would be healthy and mature, hence acting like a child. I don't know if Morpheus means he has temper tantrums and that sort of thing, but considering he's also said he's considered cold, that doesn't seem likely. INTPs, I think, can have a childlike emotional innocence. Dealing with strong emotions head-on is not the first tool they reach for. That doesn't really have anything to necessarily do with self control, making the emotional issues someone else's problem, or making terrible decisions. INTPs lead with Ti. Messy emotions often don't easily fit into the way they view the world.

For what it's worth, you also sound INTPish to me, Morpheus.

 

[Zhaylin]

I relate to a lot of what you said, [MENTION=38616]Morpheus[/MENTION], but for different reasons. (INFP here)
Just one thought though. Stereotypically speaking, men tend to be “fixers”. So, could offering solutions instead of support be a byproduct of your upbringing?

I’m a feeler, and a woman, so support comes naturally. But strong emotional displays (chaos) make me very uncomfortable. I tend to act as a fixer instead of being an ear to rant into or a shoulder to cry on. Though, like you, I CAN do those things, I would just much rather not.

As for love, ask what does love mean to you?
I’m 44 years old and I struggled with that question until just recently. I never really bonded with anyone. Not my husband OR the 4 children I gave birth to. I always expected to FEEL something. Like, logically, I knew I would do most anything for them. But how does that differ from how I am with acquaintances o strangers? Okay, so they’re higher on the list. But does that = love?
Then it occurred to me that while a lot of people put up walls to keep themselves from being hurt, I put up walls because I’m terrified of hurting others.

It didn’t fix any problems, lol, but knowing how I define love and knowing the reasons behind my problems has offered a great deal of peace.

(Sorry if too many letters are missing. I’m in bed, on my NEW iPad, and the friggin thing keeps glitching and freezing. I’l edit, as needed, from my PC later today)

 

[Coriolis]

I think far too much is being read into act like a child. It's normal for everyone to have emotions they may not know what to do with, or at least know what would be healthy and mature, hence acting like a child. I don't know if Morpheus means he has temper tantrums and that sort of thing, but considering he's also said he's considered cold, that doesn't seem likely. INTPs, I think, can have a childlike emotional innocence. Dealing with strong emotions head-on is not the first tool they reach for. That doesn't really have anything to necessarily do with self control, making the emotional issues someone else's problem, or making terrible decisions. INTPs lead with Ti. Messy emotions often don't easily fit into the way they view the world.

For what it's worth, you also sound INTPish to me, Morpheus.

The highlighted is true of INTJs as well. If anything we are often told we are too controlled when it comes to our emotions and should give vent to them more, not something I am personally comfortable with.

I agree with you about [MENTION=38616]Morpheus[/MENTION] - seems consistent with INTP.

I relate to a lot of what you said, [MENTION=38616]Morpheus[/MENTION], but for different reasons. (INFP here)
Just one thought though. Stereotypically speaking, men tend to be “fixers”. So, could offering solutions instead of support be a byproduct of your upbringing?

I’m a feeler, and a woman, so support comes naturally. But strong emotional displays (chaos) make me very uncomfortable. I tend to act as a fixer instead of being an ear to rant into or a shoulder to cry on. Though, like you, I CAN do those things, I would just much rather not.

The interplay between innate tendencies, which I see as driven primarily by type, and upbringing, which has a strong influence as well, is complex. I am a thinker and a woman, and offering solutions rather than support has always been my natural response. If anything, I suspect this is an even stronger tendency in TJs vs TPs.

As for love, ask what does love mean to you?
I’m 44 years old and I struggled with that question until just recently. I never really bonded with anyone. Not my husband OR the 4 children I gave birth to. I always expected to FEEL something. Like, logically, I knew I would do most anything for them. But how does that differ from how I am with acquaintances o strangers? Okay, so they’re higher on the list. But does that = love?
Then it occurred to me that while a lot of people put up walls to keep themselves from being hurt, I put up walls because I’m terrified of hurting others.

It didn’t fix any problems, lol, but knowing how I define love and knowing the reasons behind my problems has offered a great deal of peace.

My thoughts on love are similar. I never tell people I love them, because I'm not sure what that even means, though I have that same attitude of being willing to do most anything for those closest to me - of putting them first in my life. I do the things that people generally do for those they love, and I know what I feel, but putting it into words always seemed pointless and fraught with ambiguity.

 

[Jaguar]

Self-control is a thing all people are capable of.

I've observed otherwise.

It's normal for everyone to have emotions they may not know what to do with, or at least know what would be healthy and mature, hence acting like a child.

I can get on board with that. One of the more amusing moments in the forum was when I told a female INTP to go read a book and she responded in capital letters "NO YOU!!!" I burst out laughing and then she edited the post to something "cooler." But you see, an NT can lose their head just fine, acting like a child.

 

[Yuurei]

I've observed otherwise.



I can get on board with that. One of the more amusing moments in the forum was when I told a female INTP to go read a book and she responded in capital letters "NO YOU!!!" I burst out laughing and then she edited the post to something "cooler." But you see, an NT can lose their head just fine, acting like a child.

“ Can’t” and “ Wont” are not the same thing.

Many NT’s lose thier shit quite often, and usually over incredibly inconsequental things. It is quite hilarious to someone go on and on about being “ rational” and then flip the table because someone refuses to agree with opinion of “ best girl” in a fictional series.

 

[Jaguar]

Many NT’s lose thier shit quite often, and usually over incredibly inconsequental things.

That's what makes life so amusing. The ability to laugh at yourself.

 

[Yuurei]

That's what makes life so amusing. The ability to laugh at yourself.

I agree. I laugh at myself all the time.

No, "r/whoooosh" I know that you think this is some clever "Gotcha!" but it isn't.
I know my strengths, I know my flaws. I may be grumpy or downright irritable some days but losing my temper and resorting to screaming or insulting others (generally acting like a child) for things l just isn't something I do. I can't remember the last time I screamed at anyone at all...I hear it feels good though.

 

[Luminous]

Acting like a child could also mean being innocent and unsure, naive, inexperienced. It need not be a negative thing.

Also, this thread is SERIOUSLY derailed.

 

[Jaguar]

Acting like a child could also mean being innocent and unsure, naive, inexperienced. It need not be a negative thing.

Think about what ignites creativity. Rules? Regulations? Sermons? People with a stick up their ass shaking their finger at you? I think not. Part of what makes people so damn creative is they refused to relinquish the part of themselves that is child-like.

 

[Coriolis]

Acting like a child could also mean being innocent and unsure, naive, inexperienced. It need not be a negative thing.

Also, this thread is SERIOUSLY derailed.

It sounds like the difference between being childlike and childish.

If [MENTION=38616]Morpheus[/MENTION] wishes, I will split these posts off into a new thread, or simply remove to the graveyard. I have seen worse derails. At least we are still discussing one of the qualities that came up as part of the overall type analysis. Perhaps it is still beneficial.

 

[Yuurei]

It sounds like the difference between being childlike and childish.

If [MENTION=38616]Morpheus[/MENTION] wishes, I will split these posts off into a new thread, or simply remove to the graveyard. I have seen worse derails. At least we are still discussing one of the qualities that came up as part of the overall type analysis. Perhaps it is still beneficial.

Yeah, I think that’s an accurate assesment

 

[LucieCat]

Sometimes the TP types can come across as harsh and/or cold due to the influence of Ti. Granted, they might not intentionally be presenting themselves as such. I've just noticed that Ti can come across this way to other types, especially when dealing with Ti dom/Fe inferior (for some reason I find TP females are also frequently reacted to in this way, more so than their male counterparts—just my observation though).

The repeated thinking about topics and your stated difficulty of seeing things to their completion are likely outgrowths of Ne. Ne thrives off of possibilities and "What if?" questions. When the initial excitement wears away, it can be hard for Ne to stay motivated. So, Ne would often rather delay getting to this phase by thinking through every possibility and constantly generating new ideas. This all operates at a subconscious level, of course.

 

[Yuurei]

Think about what ignites creativity. Rules? Regulations? Sermons? People with a stick up their ass shaking their finger at you? I think not. Part of what makes people so damn creative is they refused to relinquish the part of themselves that is child-like.

Huh. Do I come off that way? It’s an inaccurate assesment. There is not much in this world that I take seriously.
But then, we’re all products of our envirnments and circumstances. Some people have to follow more rules than others.


...you know, I don’t think I’ve ever met an INTP.

 

[Coriolis]

Huh. Do I come off that way? It’s an inaccurate assesment. There is not much in this world that I take seriously.
But then, we’re all products of our envirnments and circumstances. Some people have to follow more rules than others.


...you know, I don’t think I’ve ever met an INTP.

I am married to one.

You seem too pragmatic and goal oriented ever to follow rules for their own sake. That is a good thing. Even when we do have to follow them we don't have to like it, or pretend to like it.

 

[Jaguar]

Huh. Do I come off that way? It’s an inaccurate assesment. There is not much in this world that I take seriously.
But then, we’re all products of our envirnments and circumstances. Some people have to follow more rules than others.

My post to Luminous had nothing to do with you in any way. I spoke about creativity after reading the end of her post: " It need not be a negative thing."

 

[Morpheus]

Must music align with your emotional state or can happy music improve your mood?

Both, but generally music must align with my mood. Usually, I like to hear music in an analytical way, but it's not because I'm a thinker, it's just that musicians hear music in a totally different way, we first hear the instruments we play or like more, look for what they are doing in the music's circumstance, we hear how other instruments combine with each other, we look for the rhythm, the harmony, the melodic creativity of the soloist, this type of things. But I also like to hear the bests and daydream of me playing like this, and then, only sometimes I hear it just for the pleasure of hearing the music itself, without analyzing or daydreaming.

 

[Morpheus]

I think far too much is being read into act like a child. It's normal for everyone to have emotions they may not know what to do with, or at least know what would be healthy and mature, hence acting like a child. I don't know if Morpheus means he has temper tantrums and that sort of thing, but considering he's also said he's considered cold, that doesn't seem likely. INTPs, I think, can have a childlike emotional innocence. Dealing with strong emotions head-on is not the first tool they reach for. That doesn't really have anything to necessarily do with self control, making the emotional issues someone else's problem, or making terrible decisions. INTPs lead with Ti. Messy emotions often don't easily fit into the way they view the world.

For what it's worth, you also sound INTPish to me, Morpheus.

Yes, I mean, I don't want to disrespect anyone but this one is just because I've been into a stressful situation where sometimes I was really insecure and acting like everyone is being bad to me. But it's not normal and most of the time I'm too busy doing my stuff to even care.
So, I saw that posts about this but didn't give much attention because like you noticed I said that I'm not so emotional so this type of things doesn't happen too much.

 

[Morpheus]

I relate to a lot of what you said, [MENTION=38616]Morpheus[/MENTION], but for different reasons. (INFP here)
Just one thought though. Stereotypically speaking, men tend to be “fixers”. So, could offering solutions instead of support be a byproduct of your upbringing?

I’m a feeler, and a woman, so support comes naturally. But strong emotional displays (chaos) make me very uncomfortable. I tend to act as a fixer instead of being an ear to rant into or a shoulder to cry on. Though, like you, I CAN do those things, I would just much rather not.

As for love, ask what does love mean to you?
I’m 44 years old and I struggled with that question until just recently. I never really bonded with anyone. Not my husband OR the 4 children I gave birth to. I always expected to FEEL something. Like, logically, I knew I would do most anything for them. But how does that differ from how I am with acquaintances o strangers? Okay, so they’re higher on the list. But does that = love?
Then it occurred to me that while a lot of people put up walls to keep themselves from being hurt, I put up walls because I’m terrified of hurting others.

It didn’t fix any problems, lol, but knowing how I define love and knowing the reasons behind my problems has offered a great deal of peace.

(Sorry if too many letters are missing. I’m in bed, on my NEW iPad, and the friggin thing keeps glitching and freezing. I’l edit, as needed, from my PC later today)

I don't know, i have two descriptions of love that i like. First, love is an emotion that creates strong bonds between people, when near a person that is important to us, our brain releases endorphin and others substances which that we associate with the person, so everytime we are near that person we are confortable. It's necessary, since we evolved into social animals, also it's a more abstract emotion an a more natural one, i think, since it's a combination of verious simpler emotions like happyness, adrenaline, pleasure, that kind of things. The other one is Plato's description of love, in summary he says that love is a strong desire for what we don't have, and when we have it, we don't love it anymore.

 

[Morpheus]

Also, this thread is SERIOUSLY derailed.

But I'm loving the discussion, though.