[NT] What do INTPs think of ENFPs?

[Dreamer]

So I just met this girl, and we've only met up twice, but each time, our conversations have been super theoretical and big picture, totally just checking off the boxes for a mentally stimulating conversation for me We get along very well and things are looking very positive so far. She even accepts my weirdness without judgement, YES!

Anyways, I have a feeling she's an INTP, and I'm curious to know what INTPs generally think of ENFPs and if there are potential clashes in that sort of relationship? So far, she seems very similar to me, and thinks of the things I often think about, but without that emotional, inter-relational element and perceptiveness that can come from the Ne/Fi duo. Even though I am not too too sure what Ti is at this point, I feel she has that Ti/Ne thing going on.

 

[Duffy]

General criticism of Pe doms have always been that they're fickle, flaky, and if a feeler, maybe a bit too much sap for the taste buds. If she's talking to you and both of you are stimulated by the convo, then great. Good friendship is hard to come by.

 

[Amargith]

Ime, they either love us or hate us. There is no in-between

It's the shared Ne when it comes to the loving
It's that pesky Fi when it comes to the hating

Speaking from personal experience, they either find me utterly adorable or infuriatingly annoying.

Edit: Or both at the same time - then they spook themselves by having strong, contradicting emotions, for which they will then blame us

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

I've found them to be great sources of advice in situations where my own feelings are muddled and uncertain. Some of the best advice I've received on this forum has been from ENFPs (I won't name them all, but you know who you are ). They rarely do it in a way that comes across as preachy or self-righteous as is sometimes the case with NFJs (no offense, and I don't think all NFJs come across that way).

Fi is a blind spot for me, so the support ENFPs (and INFPs) bring is welcome.

The shared Ne mode of perceiving makes them easy to relate to and it never feels forced or obligatory when I converse with them. One of the few types (along with ENTPs) who make me feel more comfortable extroverting, and I could probably talk to either type for hours without feeling drained.

 

[Dreamer]

Ime, they either love us or hate us. There is no in-between

It's the shared Ne when it comes to the loving
It's that pesky Fi when it comes to the hating

Speaking from personal experience, they either find me utterly adorable or infuriatingly annoying.

Edit: Or both at the same time - then they spook themselves by having strong, contradicting emotions, for which they will then blame us

Ahh, good to know! Ya, I have a feeling it's the Ne bond that's spawning our interesting conversations, and her Ti (if that's what I'm detecting in her) that has latched onto my curiosity in its differing incites. But, at the end of the day, I can also see this getting old, like any other "project" if there is nothing more than novelty in the conversation. So while it's great now, it may not last if I feel I'm not getting that emotional connection as well.

But I won't throw out this potential relationship because of some possibility, and I I'll just enjoy it as it is now and see where it goes.

 

[Dreamer]

I've found them to be great sources of advice in situations where my own feelings are muddled and uncertain. Some of the best advice I've received on this forum has been from ENFPs (I won't name them all, but you know who you are ). They rarely do it in a way that comes across as preachy or self-righteous as is sometimes the case with NFJs (no offense, and I don't think all NFJs come across that way).

Fi is a blind spot for me, so the support ENFPs (and INFPs) bring is welcome.

The shared Ne mode of perceiving makes them easy to relate to and it never feels forced or obligatory when I converse with them. One of the few types (along with ENTPs) who make me feel more comfortable extroverting, and I could probably talk to either type for hours without feeling drained.

Very cool! Thanks for the incite Anaximander.

 

[Dreamer]

General criticism of Pe doms have always been that they're fickle, flaky, and if a feeler, maybe a bit too much sap for the taste buds. If she's talking to you and both of you are stimulated by the convo, then great. Good friendship is hard to come by.

Good to know. I don't think I come off too sappy, actually not at all unless someone brings it out of me, but from the perspective of an NT, I wouldn't be too surprised if I do either.

 

[Amargith]

The thing is - if you want to make it work, you either need to be complimentary in fields of interests, meaning that you can teach them something on certain subjects they find interesting but haven't explored yet, and vice versa, OR, you both have to be on board with investigating the same subjects through a different lens and be interested enough to actually use Ne to bridge that gap.

Coz Ti looks at a topic using an entirely different yardstick and focuses on different priorities and agendas than Fi does. And both are valuable, but...we also really suck at using each others lenses. So trust in the other's judgement, open-mindedness, genuine curiosity about the other's pov and the awareness of what your priority and agenda regarding this subject is vs theirs is...very much recommended. Otherwise, they'll end up rolling their eyes at you for not 'getting it' on an intellectual, mental level, using statistics and 'objective' data and challenging hypotheses without it being personal and we end up rolling our eyes at them for just not grasping the inherent value of personal anecdotes, and the care and sensitivity that go into certain subjects, and you end up talking next to each other, thinking you're actually arguing against each other - as has been demo'd ALL over this forum multiple times by now

And then it gets really tempting to hammer each other with your tertiary, instead.

 

[great_bay]

ENFPs like fairies.

ENFP and INTP both use Ne. Ne is usually thought of as a child-like function thinking about bizarre possibilities. Being child-like types, ENFP and INTP might get along with each other.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

I think the Ne commonality explains why I've always gotten along so well with my ENFP sister. On family roadtrips, get-togethers, etc, we used to riff off one another and were always forming new inside jokes between the two of us. It was hard for my sister (I think) when I fell for my INFP wife, because my wife and I have a similar rapport, and my sister and I have gradually drifted apart ever since.

 

[chubber]

[MENTION=7595]INTP[/MENTION] might have something to add.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

My relationship with my sister might also explain why I am often drawn to ENFP women in a non-romantic way. I think I see a bit of my sister in many of them.

 

[Rasofy]

The NFPs here have helped me develop an emotional intelligence that wasn't there when I first entered the forum... The wise NFPs will usually ask the right questions and make me think for myself.

That said, I can't see myself with an ENFP on the long term. I find it challenging to connect with them on a deeper level, and the Ti-Fi clash would be a big source of drama. yikes.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

The NFPs here have helped me develop an emotional intelligence that wasn't there when I first entered the forum... The wise NFPs will usually ask the right questions and make me think for myself.

That said, I can't see myself with an ENFP on the long term. I find it challenging to connect with them on a deeper level, and the Ti-Fi clash would be a big source of drama. yikes.

I can relate to this, although I don't find the Ti-Fi clashes to be as pronounced with ENFPs as they sometimes are with INFPs. I still like INFPs though.

 

[Amargith]

The NFPs here have helped me develop an emotional intelligence that wasn't there when I first entered the forum... The wise NFPs will usually ask the right questions and make me think for myself.

That said, I can't see myself with an ENFP on the long term. I find it challenging to connect with them on a deeper level, and the Ti-Fi clash would be a big source of drama. yikes.

It means a lot to hear you say that - I've often wondered if Fi does have something to offer to Ti-users, myself.

I also wonder if it possible to get over that hump - the connection challenge, I mean. Maybe awareness alone would be enough, or maybe the frustration due to the rift would eventually just get the upper hand. And if awareness alone isn't enough, is there a way to become good enough, if the motivation is there, at switching perspectives in order to facilitate that connection?

A friend of mine is INTP - we have more of a sister-brother bond and we are...well, we're evil together when we get to scheming (he basically games the entire situation with his Ti and has me game the social part of it for him, and then equally divides the spoils with me). He recently started dating what I think is another...EFP. Let's just say me and her got along exceeeeedingly well, when we met. The one moment during that interaction that we joined together to argue against him, he sort of looked frustrated and annoyed that we argued the Fi side instead of being able to switch to the Ti side. And in the end he gave up - which I still feel sort of guilty about.

They've been together for over a year, and have a lot of common ground (she's a gamer chick and they have a similar troubled past, so they get each others moodswings etc), so it seems to work. From what I can tell, it's mostly due to the fact that they take turns to gripe. Or rather, they're willing to take turns and accommodate each others rants, views on things, validate them and listen to them and not..have the discussion from two povs at the same time. I'm not sure how many in depth discussions they truly have on complex topics, and I wonder in general how much of a place that has in a relationship.

I know that while I have those discussions with my INTJ, most of his mental stimulation, he gets through his work or through his geek friends online, because we have very different interests - he keeps me around as (what he calls) an entertainment center and a way to be exposed to weird, out of this world topics and ideas on those topics. Serious, in dept NT debating, he actually does with the aforementioned NTP or other NTs he encounters or people he meets online. And vice versa - I get frustrated when I go too heavy Fi on hm because he just looks at me like 'I don't know what to do with this!', and so I come and find you guys on here.

That said, he's my go to guy for strategising and organising, and crazy ideas - he wraps them up in a neat little bundle which I get unwrap again and go crazy on again, only to watch him wrap it up again in a different way, and so on and so forth

It's a matter of what you want out of the relationship, I suppose

 

[Rasofy]

I can relate to this, although I don't find the Ti-Fi clashes to be as pronounced with ENFPs as they sometimes are with INFPs. I still like INFPs though.

INFPs are tricky because on a superficial level they can look like exactly like the average INTP (shyness, reclusive tendencies, not into parties, usually feeling out of place, etc), so when Fi shows up we never saw it coming lol

 

[Rasofy]

It means a lot to hear you say that - I've often wondered if Fi does have something to offer to Ti-users, myself.

I also wonder if it possible to get over that hump - the connection challenge, I mean. Maybe awareness alone would be enough, or maybe the frustration due to the rift would eventually just get the upper hand. And if awareness alone isn't enough, is there a way to become good enough, if the motivation is there, at switching perspectives in order to facilitate that connection?

Something to ponder

Imo, if the INTP and ENFP have similar values when it comes to religion/ideology/anything that matters to them, then, even though the process is different, the result is the same, so few conflicts arise... Like, I can see myself with an ENFP who is Libertarian, Atheist, non-vegan (like me), but anything other than that would require a lot of motivation lol. Otoh, I have a close friend whom I type as E2 ENFJ, and even though she's Christian and vegan, I can actually see myself getting along with her pretty well on the long term.

A friend of mine is INTP - we have more of a sister-brother bond and we are...well, we're evil together when we get to scheming (he basically games the entire situation with his Ti and has me game the social part of it for him, and then equally divides the spoils with me). He recently started dating what I think is another...EFP. Let's just say me and her got along exceeeeedingly well, when we met. The one moment during that interaction that we joined together to argue against him, he sort of looked frustrated and annoyed that we argued the Fi side instead of being able to switch to the Ti side. And in the end he gave up - which I still feel sort of guilty about.

Yeah, it can be frustrating. It's like understanding a language, but not being able to speak it lol.

They've been together for over a year, and have a lot of common ground (she's a gamer chick and they have a similar troubled past, so they get each others moodswings etc), so it seems to work. From what I can tell, it's mostly due to the fact that they take turns to gripe. Or rather, they're willing to take turns and accommodate each others rants, views on things, validate them and listen to them and not..have the discussion from two povs at the same time. I'm not sure how many in depth discussions they truly have on complex topics, and I wonder in general how much of a place that has in a relationship.

Nice.

I know that while I have those discussions with my INTJ, most of his mental stimulation, he gets through his work or through his geek friends online, because we have very different interests - he keeps me around as (what he calls) an entertainment center and a way to be exposed to weird, out of this world topics and ideas on those topics. Serious, in dept NT debating, he actually does with the aforementioned NTP or other NTs he encounters or people he meets online. And vice versa - I get frustrated when I go too heavy Fi on hm because he just looks at me like 'I don't know what to do with this!', and so I come and find you guys on here.

That said, he's my go to guy for strategising and organising, and crazy ideas - he wraps them up in a neat little bundle which I get unwrap again and go crazy on again, only to watch him wrap it up again in a different way, and so on and so forth

It's a matter of what you want out of the relationship, I suppose

That's awesome

 

[Lloyd]

My INTP friend thinks my ENFP friend is fun to be with. He thinks he's childish and easy to tease and often make fun of him while he is away. At some point my INTP friend told me that my ENFP friend likes to discuss many things unknown to him.

 

[Luke O]

My personal experiences with ENFPs - I suspect my young daughter is one, and there's current/former work colleagues too, I'm sometimes in awe of the things they come out with, and we can make each other laugh. I think there's great potential for great INTP-ENFP relationships. But from what I've seen, be wary that an INTP (if she is anything like me) can come out with things that seem offensive, but there's no need to take it personally. Also don't crowd her too much, if she needs her personal space, her "Me time", it's about her, not you - but she needs to tell you when, so you know where you stand.

 

[Dreamer]

My personal experiences with ENFPs - I suspect my young daughter is one, and there's current/former work colleagues too, I'm sometimes in awe of the things they come out with, and we can make each other laugh. I think there's great potential for great INTP-ENFP relationships. But from what I've seen, be wary that an INTP (if she is anything like me) can come out with things that seem offensive, but there's no need to take it personally. Also don't crowd her too much, if she needs her personal space, her "Me time", it's about her, not you - but she needs to tell you when, so you know where you stand.

Ya, being around introverts in general, aren't always easy for me. Sometimes I just can't get the level of social stimulation I'm seeking and may start to feel antsy and want to get out, but if say, my friend, partner, whatever, needs their alone time, my Ne/Fi perception picks up on that quickly and I give them their space. It keeps from them feeling overwhelmed by me, even if I don't always get that fulfillment. But I get it, people have their own needs, and as I would want someone to respect my boundaries, I can respect others.