Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts People Watching--What Crosses Your Mind?

[Kas]

I think one of the funnest people-watching scenarios is having a person to people watch with, who is as enthusiastic about guessing about the people and who enjoys observing character too.

I used to observe people like that with my sister, it was really fun. She is so/sp if it brings anything into discussion.

And about what EJCC wrote- I sometimes imagine too that I stuck with those people (from bus, train) for a long time, or how would everyone of us act in an extreme situation like accident.

I sometimes find strangers attractive, but then I still think rather what is in their mind, what are they interested in. I don't imagine our life together or anything like it.
Edit: or I just appreciate the beauty.

 

[Patrick]

But then again being able to have fun experiences with me is kind of a requirement for me to be interested in you so it's kind of a paradox.

Just goes to show that the main type is still dominant and has the most powerful effect. As a Seven, you'll naturally look toward "fun experiences." As a Six whose wing leans in the other direction (toward Five rather than Seven), my concern is on how easy and natural it'd be to be close to the person--which means trusting one another and, in my case, being reassured by the other. If I can get all that, fun is optional.

 

[Duffy]

I'm starting to wonder if that's a gender-related thing. I remember a line from a stand-up comedian (I forget his name): "If you women knew what we men were thinking, you'd never stop slapping us."

But I still think there's an instinctive-variant thing going on too. A good female friend of mine has a habit of always sizing up people and couples when we're out anywhere. Once, after observing a middle-aged couple just once, she said, "Those two are having an affair." I couldn't tell anything about them; they could've been married, for all I knew, or they might have been coworkers having coffee together. But my friend pried (indirectly, by talking with the coffee-shop owner who knew the pair), and it turned out she was spot on. If anybody has a "social" variant, it's that friend of mine.

Yea, I've known people who were pretty keen on this type of stuff. I used to think they were sx firsts because I thought obsession with interpersonal affairs and especially relationships = one-to-one intimacy = sx. A year later, after having read a couple books on the matter, I'm thinking they were probably so-first variants, maybe even sx-last on a couple of them.

As to finding people attractive, I guess I find about a third to half the women I see attractive--at least at first glance. My mind seems to put a positive spin on everyone, so my first glance can be deceiving (and ultimately I am very picky). Still, there's never any shortage of good-looking women within my view. Not for very long. And I've been happily married for twenty-eight years and am 100 percent faithful, so I'm not looking for anyone; just looking at them.

I think the sx variant looks for something other than just attractiveness, though. It basically picks out interesting people--people I think it might be fascinating, in some way, to get to know. I notice that with all people, I guess. This morning I overheard a guy at the pastry shop chatting with the (good-looking young) cashier, and his voice and mannerisms turned me off--made me glad I didn't know him so I didn't have to talk with him; he seemed good-natured but boring. Come to think of it, the young woman at the cash register was a little like him; though she was pretty, her personality instantly struck me as bland even though I was seeing her for the first time.

Yet, another worker in that pastry shop--a young woman who's above average in looks--fascinates me. I've seen her there many times, but we've never exchanged more than a couple words. She exudes keep-your-distance vibes; she's polite and efficient, but she looks cold most of the time. To me she's like a rose with a lot of thorns, and that's intriguing. I think she might be an interesting person to get to know.

Maybe that's what the sx variant does--puts my attention on possible connections, of any kind, with individual others, and zeroes in on the most interesting or potentially intense ones. It doesn't have to have anything to do with sex, but it might if the gender and other factors are lined up right

I think instincts are very basic, primitive and visceral drive on a fundamental level. However, I think humans are complicated, which makes the instincts seem less basic. For something like the sx instinct, it's essentially sex. Though that doesn't necessarily express itself in obvious ways in people versus primitive species. I think it lays dormant, there's an undercurrent that influences every action above. There's a lot there you've mentioned already, like intensity seeking, unspoken vibes of rejection and want. I can say that there have been situations where I've been attracting people unknowingly, even though I'm not really doing anything, certainly not pampering myself to be more desirable. Vice versa have been the case as well, where my presence yields a strong negative reaction. I've been attracted to a few sx-last in the past, but felt like they were scared of me or straight up rejected me when I was around them. When I'm around sx-last, it feels like I'm going to corrupt them, like some sorta unholy union haha.

 

[Frosty]

I people daze, and I people watch. People dazing is what I do most often, where I have something on my mind and my eyes just sort of wander towards movement. And that creates a solid point to stick my eyes, and kind of eliminates any distraction caused by movement. Actually though, more of an unaware staring-an I'm not present with my surroundings sort of thing and what I am thinking is just so much better but I have to look somewhere until whoever I am with decides to scold me for looking like a fish out of water.

But yeah while when I people daze I might pick up on something others are doing here and there subconciously(and this is what I do most often), people watching is different. I don't really tend to do that often, only if something is really odd-something is confusing or interesting or intriguing me about them, or they are making some sort of obvious scene-but it has to be out of the ordinary otherwise I am generally oblivious. My mom people watches all the time, pointing out so and so's weird hat, facial expression, all this stuff. Dynamics sometimes too, and those can be interesting to discuss. But yeah I don't really people watch as much as it looks like I might.

 

[Luv Deluxe]

I notice other people, and I like observing groups sometimes - especially if I'm on a train and my stop isn't for another several minutes, or I'm waiting in an airport terminal, etc. I'm very attuned to the energy and noise of others, so if I'm not in motion myself (traveling away from the source), I almost can't help but make some observations. Sometimes I like taking candid pictures in a crowd if I find the subject particularly interesting.

However, I don't especially feel compelled to actively people watch, per se. My crowd interaction style is something of an isolated one; I'm happy to live and let live, passing the individual packs of energy I meet on the street with minimal judgment and usually, minimal interest. I suppose I'm thinking of myself in contrast to the bored, older housewives I know who hear so much as an aggressive car horn near their driveways and immediately run to the windows to see what the disturbance is about, eyeballing the neighbors as they do. My mother's side of the family has made a sport of people watching in a somewhat scathing, mean way; they like to kill time by mocking strangers who can't overhear them, taunting them for even the tiniest of unique features. That style of observation makes me feel ill inside and I don't understand the appeal. I have an ISFJ friend with a similar approach, though she tends to make moral judgments instead. I usually end up changing the topic or pointing out the positive when I feel her beginning to steer her observations in that direction.

So with regard to those frameworks, I don't see myself as much of a people watcher; it takes something special to spark my attention and hold it. I do notice appearances and I do make snap appraisals, sexually. I am in a very happy relationship, so I'm not looking with any kind of practical means to an end in mind, but it is an involuntary kind of thing, base and chemical. It's attraction and/or interest, simply, and need not be anything more. It's felt in an almost electrical way, though.

I definitely don't picture weddings or dates or anything like that at all. It's more that I feel myself drawn to someone's energy, and if I feel it reciprocated after imagining what that might be like, it sparks this very intense thrill of, "Ha! You're attracted to me, I knew it." And then I just feel very alive and happy, like an excited bird puffing out her plumage just for kicks.

I also think it's worth mentioning that while I immediately assess attractiveness, I'm neither intimidated nor swayed by it greatly. I can recognize a general sort of objective, physical appeal, but if I know little about the person or can sense a lack of dynamic personality, there will be no further interest. I need a charge from someone in order for my attention to fixate itself upon them. Otherwise - as is more often the case - my mind goes somewhere else, unconcerned with those nearby.

 

[Sil]

I'm constantly people watching. If I am outside, and there are people around (assuming I don't have headphones in and event then I still do), I am watching.

Same here. I people watch all the time.

I look at clothing, hair, nails, wrinkles-- all sorts of physical details to try and see what educated guesses I can make about their lives and circumstances.

One thing I enjoy doing when I'm near two people engaged in a lively discussion is to put my headphones in without sound and just listen to them talk. I find the kinds of conversations people have to be interesting.

I definitely tune out the outside world if I'm preoccupied with something. But I tend to make myself pay more attention to what's around me.

 

[Dreamer]

I used to think that what I do is to go "people watching", but reflecting on it recently actually, I realize that I'm not actually there specifically watching people at all, not even really part of the time. I find that what I get out of the experience is just being around people. I don't always have to talk to people, but the extrovert in me still needs to at least be surrounded by people and activity. I also use it as a time to reflect and think of things. I use the people around me more as a visual white noise while I listen to music on headphones. Sure, I'll watch some person here or there for some time longer than usual, but mostly, that's what I'm doing when I go out to public places to sit, is to just soak it all in and revive

 

[Hawthorne]

Group projects also.

I watch for social dynamics, posture, aesthetic style, mood and expressiveness, and purpose for being wherever they are. The longer it takes to understand, the longer my eyes stick.

I could've written this word for word.

Am I alone in noticing the amount of anxiety people seem to have? Maybe that's just my environment.

 

[DaftGuru]

As an sp-dom, I really am not interested much in other people. People-watching sounds incredibly boring.

 

[Poki]

I really just practice noticing all the little things, walk, talk, facial expressions, inflection, etc. I really don't have any desire to guess or wonder unless I can know for sure. Seems like a waste of mental energy. Curiosity for the sake of learning I enjoy, for the sake of pure curiosity with no way of knowing what actually is or what happened is just like mental games that you never know if you win or lose, if your right or wrong. You get good at shooting in the dark, but never turn the light on and check to see if you hit anything.

 

[Ghost]

My question is, do you do much people watching? And if and when you do, what do you look for or notice? And what kinds of thoughts cross your mind? Explicit sexual thoughts? General "sizing someone up" thoughts? Thoughts of possible friendship or romance? Or what?

Also, do you think your variant stacking has anything to do with that?

I don't do much people-watching. When I do, it's because they're far away so I don't feel as weird about looking. But after thinking about it, maybe it's creepier to watch when they're unaware, like I'm some kind of voyeur-stalker person.

I notice stuff that seems unusual—someone dropping things, someone shirtless, someone on a recumbent bike, someone jaywalking on a busy street when the crosswalk is three freaking yards away. Otherwise, people barely register for me. I try not to be too conscious of them. Hopefully, they're not too conscious of me, either.

I don't size people up physically, although tall people can intimidate me a bit. If I'm in a group where I feel like I know my stuff, I might size them up in terms of intellect, talent, or competence. I've never looked at people with romance or sex in mind. I might get a sense that I could be friends with a person, but I don't pursue it.

I'm imagining this in the same way as the "walking into a room" analogy that Riso & Hudson used. Their angle was, What's the first thing you notice? The temperature and where the food is (sp)? The cliques or groupings of people (so)? Or individuals you'd like to connect with (sx)?

I notice the layout of a room/building, the quality of the building materials and furniture, lighting, windows, stuff like that. So a place will have discount office furniture from the early nineties and I'm super unimpressed, or a restaurant will have wall-to-wall carpet and I'm grossed out. A blend of cleanliness, practicality, and aesthetics, I guess.

 

[chubber]

If I was people watching it would be by accident as I am probably staring right through them and not realising it (that sounds creepy. probably is), as I'm probably deep in thought.

 

[Null]

People watching seems really boring and also quite inappropriate to me, I don't understand why people do it.

 

[Masokissed]

It's fun, I usually sit back and laugh at things people do or say. Or I might think of what I'd say or do with them. Then there's the habit of me thinking about how cute a lot of people are...

 

[fetus]

I can't ever remember doing it in a judgmental way. For me, it's inspiring.

-What are their lives like? What makes them cry? What makes them laugh? Who are they inside?
-Where do they live? What do their rooms look like? Their schools? If they're a child, I imagine what grade they're in and what kind of art they make.
-What are their relationships like? I try to imagine what it would feel like to be them. Then I feel sad, because imagining myself as someone else for too long makes me homesick for my own life. Also, the pain I imagine them going through weighs on me. But I do it anyway. It's also comforting somehow.
-I observe their interactions in groups (so instinct?). I'm good at picking out who's the odd one out. I see pecking orders and social hierarchies.
-What is their general demeanor like? If someone looks grumpy and rushed, I imagine that they've had a horrible day at work. Why? What does their workplace look like? Who is their boss?
-I look around at people and marvel at how there at seven billion of us and for some reason that just strikes me as freaking amazing. Seven billion individuals more complex than universes. No wonder life is so beautiful and so fucked up at the same time.

That's just a starting point. I love people watching. When I feel sad or lonely, I go outside and stare at passing cars. I sit in bus shelters, walk through subway stations, let myself wander around. Just looking at all those different lives passing by is enough for me. Clears my head every time.

I'm so/sx, if you didn't look at my listed type.

 

[á´…eparted]

I used to people watch a TON when I was younger, largely because it was for an explicit purpose: Learn human behavior and social rules (it was not intuitive to me, so I had to learn through observation). Occasionally I would do so for the pure enjoyment of it, but I found that I enjoyed the process enough so it was mutually exclusive.

I don't really people watch anymore. Ever the male I am, walking around in public, 90% of the time I am just scanning for guys I find sexually attractive, and then subtly checking them out. When I am with a group of friends, then people watching turns on so I get the flow/dynamic of who's around.

 

[Smilephantomhive]

I people listened more than people watched.

Middle school was my peak in people listening. Probably because I moved schools and had no friends, so that was the only way to entertain myself. At one point I wrote down things people said. I think i still have those papers around somewhere.But I don't plan on using them against the people I spied on (The things I wrote down aren't considered important anyway).

Most of my sex education was from the bus, so that saved me from asking a lot of awkward questions. i also listened to people's debates, and tried to counter their arguments in my head.



I still listen to people's conversations, but not as much as I used to because I know I have to actually think about important things.

I'm imagining this in the same way as the "walking into a room" analogy that Riso & Hudson used. Their angle was, What's the first thing you notice? The temperature and where the food is (sp)? The cliques or groupings of people (so)? Or individuals you'd like to connect with (sx)?

I only notice the temperature if it's different from the previous temperature, but I always notice where the food is.

I guess for the most part I people watch to learn things, and to pass the time. I rarely think about attractiveness, or think about a possible future. I just listen to what they say and determine if it can help me in anyway.

 

[Betty Blue]

I'm still trying to get a handle on the instinctual variants thing. I know the concept and the definitions, and I've read about the various stackings, but I still can't be sure of my own stacking. (But of course I'm a Six, so I can't be sure of anything, much as I'd love to.)

Anyhow, while reading other threads, I got to thinking about "girl watching" (as in the old song). Of course there's also "guy watching," and the generic term would be "people watching."

My question is, do you do much people watching? And if and when you do, what do you look for or notice? And what kinds of thoughts cross your mind? Explicit sexual thoughts? General "sizing someone up" thoughts? Thoughts of possible friendship or romance? Or what?

Also, do you think your variant stacking has anything to do with that? Do you suppose people with different stackings see and think about different things?

I'm imagining this in the same way as the "walking into a room" analogy that Riso & Hudson used. Their angle was, What's the first thing you notice? The temperature and where the food is (sp)? The cliques or groupings of people (so)? Or individuals you'd like to connect with (sx)?

I notice, for example, that my wife often points to someone in a crowd and says, "She's not well; she needs some nutritional help or physical therapy." Or she'll comment on someone's posture or gait. I'm thinking this might be a sign of leading sp. I myself wouldn't notice those things if she didn't bring them up.

More on what I do notice will follow, if there's any interest in this thread.

Love people watching, especially while sitting at a cafe in a busy market or plaza etc. I think about who they are, what crosses their minds, what their lives are like, where they are going, whats the future holds for them, whats their kids will looks like, where they will live, what the world will be like then for them, how significant anything is, how we are mostly little worker bee's... general societal obs, comparisons, links etc etc.


EDIT: Interesting, I posted before reading through deliberately as I didn't want any influence. I was really interested to see that many others have very different styles... maybe having my mother as an enfp and likely my brother (or esxp) ... perhaps i just thought it was the norm... though I'm not even sure we discussed it ever, maybe things were implied? idk.

Also realise I didn't answer the stacking thing... I am likely sp/sx or sx/sp ... when looking at the instinctual variants along with the enneagram it makes a difference. 7w6 seemed to fit me best with ythose two variants.

I imagine that my need to be close to people in some way is balanced out somewhat with self pres.... so watching from a distance is a safe bet for me... I can imagine their lives without actually having to be part of their lives -ha. Also what someone else said about being an extrovert makes sense... just being around other people and not having to interact is satisfying in itself.

 

[1487610420]

 

[+ patch]

I like people watching. There's 'girl watching' where I look for sexy and/or stylish females. there's 'badass' watching, i try to pick out badasses, and be aware of them in case they're on drugs or violent. There's also funny dysfunctional people to see. I think my stacking is sp/so.