https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U
This is how I picture SX-dom relationships, lol
Mmm...do you know that that is slightly exhilarating to me?
Granted, that is us at our worst though. I had a relationship like that with a fellow sx-dom, though he never did lay a hand on me to hurt me - he was abusive in other ways. But I loved this physicality in the way he expressed his need for me - sexually, intimately, emotionally. It's electric.
I did learn from that situation though that it did not equal loyalty, love, compassion or fidelity. It doesn't make them your soulmate. It just makes for a highly addictive in the moment whirlwind, breathtaking experience. With my sp-sx, things are way more smooth. And way more deep. They can be this intense in the moment craziness as well, though thats usually instigated by me. But it goes beyond that. I won't lie though - there are times that I miss someone instigating that stuff with me, with that kind of ease. But it aint nothing compared to what I have now.
In fact, the way you described your previous post - which i was still digesting and pondering how to respond to, but fuck it, ill just go for it - reminds me of my sp-dom at home. He is the same way. He likes things organised, comfortable, and gets pissy at things being in disarray. Which I can get pissy about coz I feel like he is pretty much guilt tripping me for not doing something that...well is important to him but couldn't be less important to me. I however do recognise that it is part of what makes him...at ease, and available to me so I try to keep the irritation to a minimum - I just don't always...take note of it coz its so low on my scale of what's a priority
Otoh, he is sx-second and he loves himself some drama - as long as he can watch from the sidelines instead being in the middle of it. And that means he loves me going that intensely crazy on him - in small doses and frequency. In fact, it exhilarates him. As long as I dose it properly. And he loves me going all out - as long as it aint aimed at him
In essence, I sometimes seem to be an entertainment centre to him, a drug to feel alive. And...I guess the same is true for your breed? Given enough safe distance, I mean and given you aint the object of my focus? I'll grant you as well that as exhilarating and addictive as a relationship with a fellow sx-dom is, even for us it often gets to a point where we cannot take anymore - and yet you cannot stop. Which is why you often see the blowout that follows. I'd imagine that being in that kind of relationship would be awesome and terrible at the same time, unless both parties learned to at least channel *some* of that raw energy in some productive way.
As for sx-lasts...I'll admit that I miss that spark. There is a deep and kind type of connection with those that get along with me, and they make for the most evenhanded, balanced and loyal friends. But I do feel like I only need to go 'Boo!' to make them either run for the hills or roll their eyes at me. Given enough time with them, I feel like a stallion reigned in to the max, barely being allowed to stretch his legs. And yes, the lack of 'spark' makes their company...eventually hard to endure. Not because they aren't lovely people, but coz I miss that fix. And I have to walk on eggshells, non-stop.
I used to, when I was younger, and met a new group of people, go all out 'entertaining'. People...seemed to love it for the first 5 minutes. Most of them, anyways. Then those smiles turned to hesitation...and to frowns. I made a great first impression. Just everyone was scared,or intimidated or put off by the time it was over so they didn't want to meet me again
It took me ages to figure out that I should temper myself, not to mention how long it took me to learn how to reign it in. Oddly, I get people trying to take advantage of me when I do reign it in - until I show just a small bit of what I'm holding back. Suddenly they feel the need to treat me with a lot more caution
In short...I've always resented people who rolled their eyes at what they perceived as 'attention whoring' for my personal gain, as it meant changing who I was for them, when what I was trying to do was share who I genuinely was. I got told to stop being such a drama queen and fake shit -which was confusing to say the least. It's kinda twisted to be told to be yourself more when being yourself gets you...accused of fakeness.
Funny thing was that they responded to less blunt, honest and raw 'me' and therefore fakery in a way a lot better
Of course, nowadays I know that it was just coz they didn't know how to or want to deal with what you call my 'pushiness', so I'm a lot less distressed by it, and know how to navigate it...a little better
Wall of text enough for ya?
Tl;dr
Nowadays I like ex-lasts just fine as I've come to know them as loyal, evenhanded and balanced people. It can be sometimes tiresome to non-stop reign myself in around them as to not to spook them. Back in the day, I used to resent their need to belittle my attempts to be just me as drama queen, attention whore, while nowadays i understand that they just don't like to deal with/know how to deal with that kind of 'pushiness' that comes naturally to me.