Any Other Quiet Extroverts Around?

[Tilt]

So I am not a very social person. My ideal social life would be to hang out with people 2-3 times a week, 3-4 hours at a time with people I like. I enjoy short little text conversations a few times a week and a couple personal phone calls a month. I alternate between talking a lot and mostly observing and listening.

I don't enjoy big crowds, loud parties, or anything super high energy. Very bubbly, talkative people drain me quite quickly.

However, I easily get into a dark funk if I don't get a consistent stream of low-level people interaction all the time... Observing people, listening to people in the background, having music/tv on, visiting forums, short conversations with strangers, etc.

Any other people relate?

 

[Typh0n]

Pretty much.

I don't enjoy groups, clubs. Parties it depends on who is there and what kind of party it is, parties can be fun I guess and if I can interact with people one at a time. I prefer interacting with people one-on-one, I'm very intimate and discreet and don't like groups as I've said, but social gatherings can be fine as long as I'm focused on one or two people and don't have to deal with group laughter/boisterousness.

As far as talking goes, it depends on what mood I'm in, the setting, and how much I've had to drink.

 

[ceecee]

My ENFJ is this way, he's a low energy E in a lot of ways (but he isn't low energy physically or mentally). I think he also needs those low-level interactions and it's helpful that I like them too.

 

[cascadeco]

I can relate to a lot of what you write, and sometimes I think I 'should' have turned out as an extrovert, but the reality is calling myself that would make pretty much no sense given how I am.

But anyway, it's a reason my current job is a good thing for me, being around people and as you mentioned, just observing, maybe some casual chitchat (I need to do that as part of my job anyway), just having people and Life around. I don't like being on my own for more than a day or so, and I think the fact I've lived alone for almost all of my adult life is a contributing effect to my having gotten in some funks in the past (which is why I used to identify as N, I was unhappy and stuck in my head, and not in a this-is-me-and-I-like-it way). I don't particularly LIKE it. But current job definitely helps some with that, and I think is good for me.

But I'm the opposite of a 'talker'...I'm very quiet.

fwiw I think most people are kind of in the middle on this scale, I'm a more extroverted/need outside stimulation introvert, and I don't need as much alone time as some very introverted people, but there are definitely extroverts who aren't extreme extroverts.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

That's funny, I was talking about that subject with a close friend in the afternoon. I made him discover the MBTI months ago. I asked him today "so now tell me your type !"

He is an ISFP and used to go party and does not like being alone.


I am an extrovert, I love being by myself. I can talk very long time, then just remain quiet , read or watch a movie, go for some artistic work...ect

I am always thinking about what is important to me probably my (Fi) and I love to share it with other people I trust.

When I talk I can take the chance to know my feelings better. It has not always been the case... When I was younger I used to talk to be noticed, to seduce, to provoke, ...etc.


I don't like super high energy clubs, parties or noisy atmospheres. Most of my friends are introverts. Very talkative people are to me some energetic vampires.

Most of the time those people don't have the talent to listen to you carefully. Also, sometimes, some of them don't even listen to themselves...

I work by night so I'm free to choose my daytime relationship as I want to. I've chosen this rhythm and "quiet nights" because I had been unfairly treated by some arrogant clients in my ex jobs

and I had refused to shut my mouth. I was not the kind to be peaceful with those no values and "I give you when I want my shit people".

So I've decided to change my job + my way of living. That's a rhythm that I truly enjoy.


My best friends are my milk and I have a very deep, special and unic relationship with each of them (most are male).

Intellectual activities and books are my bread. If I don't read for more than 24 hours I don't feel good with myself.

I don't like groups generally speaking unless I am acknowledged for my unic personality and talents in a friendship atmosphere.

I am very sensitive to atmospheres, that is to say negative feelings exhaust me very easily.

I love that feeling of being into a bubble with another close person. I've noticed that all my friends have more or less the same qualities.

When meeting new people I observe with care their reactions and body language.

In this case, I don't talk that much to be sure I am feeling who they are on the spot. I notice who in sincere, who is shy, who is the chief, who is clever, who is fair/unfair, gentle, asshole...etc.

When I was young I used to joke around without paying too much attention to other things.


I am very careful with my relationships, I don't wanna be in touch with just anyone and lose my time. Moreover I want to know why I'm in touch with X or Y.

To me there is no "by chance". There is always a good (or a frightening) reason why we keep on meeting someone.

And I wanna know where I stand.

 

[miss fortune]

I don't like parties, places with a lot of people, loud noises and ENTHUSIASM

cognitively speaking I'm an extrovert and I can deal with speaking to a lot of people if necessary, but then I really want to go home and NOT go out and deal with other people... peopleing does NOT energize me so much as make me want to find somewhere quiet

 

[1487610420]

I think it to be related to instinctual types, and the correlation between psychological comfort and social setting, ie crowds vs one-on-one/small, familiar setting vs strangers, etc. I'm frugal with my time and attention, and loud crowds and individuals drain and annoy me.

 

[fetus]

What is the actual definition of introvert/extrovert? The distinctions are always fuzzy and unclear.

 

[á´…eparted]

I am an extrovert and I am defffffffinitely not quiet .

 

[Bush]

There are plenty of folks who don't really engage me (i.e. they're boring, without mutual gain, etc.*), and I don't often bother forcing it. There's also a sort of valley effect, where I'm perfectly outgoing toward strangers and toward the folks that I'm close to, but I usually make for a terrible acquaintance.

I consider myself to be pretty unconventional. That isn't a factor in normal conversations with strangers, but it is a trait that friends pretty much by definition know and like. It's also a trait that doesn't bode well for acquaintanceship because it means that there's nowhere near enough common ground between me and the other to sustain one.

Plenty of folks, then, can see me as standoffish.

Additionally, asynchronous communication (e.g. text, chat) is usually ideal, since it's so damn convenient. One of my nerdier circles set up a chat room so that we can all chat whenever via PC or phone, and I'm always connected and almost always active there. So I'm almost always engaged with some people in some capacity at any given moment.

I also resonate with [MENTION=6723]phobik[/MENTION]'s answer.

* I'm sure that it's vice versa for plenty of folks, and I think I can live with that.

I don't like parties, places with a lot of people, loud noises and ENTHUSIASM

No goddamned way this is true.

 

[Masokissed]

*every extravert on the site replies because every extravert likes some quiet time and being on this site is quiet time*

 

[Yama]

My ideal social life would be to hang out with people 2-3 times a week, 3-4 hours at a time with people I like.

You hang out with people that often?!?!

 

[five sounds]

I'm quiet til I'm not. I often surprise people when I come out of my shell.

 

[Tilt]

You hang out with people that often?!?!

Sometimes. Is that considered a lot? My ISTJ friend makes it sound like he does, along with some other introverts I know. lol

 

[Yama]

Sometimes. Is that considered a lot? My ISTJ friend makes it sound like he does, along with some other introverts I know. lol

I am a super introvert so I can go weeks without hanging out with people!

 

[Masokissed]

I am a super introvert so I can go weeks without hanging out with people!

Loser.

 

[á´…eparted]

Additionally, asynchronous communication (e.g. text, chat) is usually ideal, since it's so damn convenient. One of my nerdier circles set up a chat room so that we can all chat whenever via PC or phone, and I'm always connected and almost always active there. So I'm almost always engaged with some people in some capacity at any given moment.[/size]

I have the same setup, actually in 2 different places too (3 if you count facebook, which I use a ton,a nd 4 if you count texting). This is on top of my day-to-day socalizing. If I didn't have my online connections, I would go CRAZY.

aka. I have constant engagement. When the online contact is brought in prospective, I am basically socalizing all the time.

 

[Yama]

Loser.

i know.

 

[Masokissed]

i know.

 

[Tilt]

What is the actual definition of introvert/extrovert? The distinctions are always fuzzy and unclear.

The way I see it is introverts get more energized by more solitary or less stimulating things... Like they have a lower threshold. As such, they tend to be more self-contained.

Extroverts desire a steady stream of outside interaction to feel energized.

Even though I am a low-key extrovert, if you gave me a nice, quiet cabin to stay in for a few days to get away, I would get depressed after like a day and a half.