when ESTp meets ENFj

[Azure Flame]

socionics article, ESTp (SLE, "Zhukov") vs ENFj (EIE, "Hamlet").
http://www.the16types.info/vbulleti...ity-Relations-ESTp-and-ENFj-by-Stratiyevskaya

I thought this was interesting. Upon looking back at my interaction with my EIE room mate, its crazy how much of this article is true.

I can feel his emotional manipulation clawing at me to no effect. I was always curious and trying to figure out what the heck he wanted from me and why he was getting frustrated that I wasn't responding the way he wanted. Usually the only people who can emotionally manipulate me seem to be Fi.

The biggest thing that seemed to stand out to me, was that he seems to be doing everything in his power to prevent me from living my own life. This usually takes the form of presenting exciting new life directions. I've always viewed him as a friend, and he seems to want to place me in his group of followers, which is kind of wierd.

Despite all these things that I can sometimes interpret as self centered, I actually get upset when he leaves. Time will tell.

 

[sulfit]

The biggest thing that seemed to stand out to me, was that he seems to be doing everything in his power to prevent me from living my own life. This usually takes the form of presenting exciting new life directions. I've always viewed him as a friend, and he seems to want to place me in his group of followers, which is kind of wierd.

Sometimes I feel that around ENFJs. They want to involve me in some kind of play in which I have no business participating. When our goals coincide, however, they make for great collaborators: energetic, sociable, determined, willing to work from dust till dawn for the idea, not only for their paycheck. I have much admiration for them.

 

[Typh0n]

Its accurate. Its true for example that around SLEs I start to become more playful, and sometimes I am too choleric for the laid back ones. Its also true that I dont take well to SLEs business initiatives since the can be damaging for me; they dont allow anyone else to be in the spotlight and prove their worth at doing things. I feel like SLEs expect a more submissive partner who just shuts up, while I, on the other hand need to prove my initiative as well. All in all, I like SLEs, the main problem is that we're both extroverts and both will try to dominate the other without submitting, themselves.

 

[Azure Flame]

Its accurate. Its true for example that around SLEs I start to become more playful, and sometimes I am too choleric for the laid back ones. Its also true that I dont take well to SLEs business initiatives since the can be damaging for me; they dont allow anyone else to be in the spotlight and prove their worth at doing things. I feel like SLEs expect a more submissive partner who just shuts up, while I, on the other hand need to prove my initiative as well. All in all, I like SLEs, the main problem is that we're both extroverts and both will try to dominate the other without submitting, themselves.

Hmm... my ENFJ friend is really adamant about being the person to make the cover art to my sci fi book. The thing is, my book is all about me and my vision, and I'm extremely controlling in regards to how it comes out, so I don't think he's comfortable with the fact that I'm controlling how the book art comes out. Its like he wants to help but doesn't seem to want to realize that I will not accept anything he takes if it does not strictly conform to my expression.

I think I also have a tendency to steal the spotlight, which he very badly wants and needs (whether he wants to admit it or not). So one issue with entering his life and making friends with his friends, is that... I almost feel like I'm stealing his turf.

 

[Typh0n]

Hmm... my ENFJ friend is really adamant about being the person to make the cover art to my sci fi book. The thing is, my book is all about me and my vision, and I'm extremely controlling in regards to how it comes out, so I don't think he's comfortable with the fact that I'm controlling how the book art comes out. Its like he wants to help but doesn't seem to want to realize that I will not accept anything he takes if it does not strictly conform to my expression.

I think I also have a tendency to steal the spotlight, which he very badly wants and needs (whether he wants to admit it or not). So one issue with entering his life and making friends with his friends, is that... I almost feel like I'm stealing his turf.

Yeah. I guess when it comes to your book, you might either accept that he does the cover art himself or do the art yourself. Editors might ask you to change the art regardless of who does it though. Besides, everytime a book is re-published by a different editor, it gets different art, so you might not have much control over that anyways.

I would suggest that you present him some your freinds too. That way, itll be pretty much even.

 

[Azure Flame]

Yeah. I guess when it comes to your book, you might either accept that he does the cover art himself or do the art yourself. Editors might ask you to change the art regardless of who does it though. Besides, everytime a book is re-published by a different editor, it gets different art, so you might not have much control over that anyways.

I would suggest that you present him some your freinds too. That way, itll be pretty much even.

haha that's so wierd. I never thought this would be an issue.

 

[Azure Flame]

Its no wonder I have no beta friends except for LSI's. The EIE's are in charge of their turf, the IEI's disappear when you stop looking at them.