"My Fi was very, very, very, hurt." That is not useful insight.
It is nothing more than someone talking about their emotions and substituting Fi for the word, feelings.
The Feeling function itself -regardless of attitude- is not to be confused with "feelings" or "emotions" as we commonly know them.
That is why I made the comment earlier, that threads like these are pointless.
The reason they're pointless is they're not really discussing Fi and Fe as function attitudes, at all.
They're discussing hurt feelings.
You have repeatedly expressed your dissatisfaction with how Fi is defined and discussed in this forum.
If I were an Fi Dom, the last thing on earth I would want to see is someone saying their Fi was "hurt."
It sounds like someone fell on their ass, rather than what Fi really is - a mental process used to evaluate worth.
not to interrupt in something i was not involved in, but i just want to point out that while emotion =/= Feeling, emotion can be the barometer for Feeling, and for Fi types is inextricably tied up in it.
because emotions are read by Feeling functions, they become a part of the schema of value for a person with dom or aux Fi. things that i highly value make me feel emotionally good. things that do not make me feel emotionally bad.
so to say that my Fi was hurt, is very much the same as saying, "i am aware that i am dealing with something that goes against my value system". for us, it is a useful insight, and it's really the same thing, though i also understand that, worded as it is, it comes off whiny and self-absorbed.
but then, we have Te, not Ti, which says that getting to the point efficiently is more important than how specifically we word it.
I'm understanding that they feel that anything less would be sweeping something public under the carpet instead of being transparent about it. I also suspect that the act of airing those thoughts and emotions and sticking up for someone is more important to them than the resulting outcome. The purpose of starting that kind of thread maybe has nothing to do with what happens in the end?
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I think I understand the reasoning that a Fi person may use initially. What I'm fuzzy on is what is the outcome that you would foresee in ideal Fi world when you operate in this way? That everyone had a chance to say their say? That the public is aware that an offense happened? That you feel better having expressed your sentiments and now your conscience is clear?
If you have done this and it hasn't turned out well for you (in a workplace setting, etc), does that affect what you do the next time? How would you see a person in charge ideally responding to that kind of outpouring? How would you see co-workers ideally responding?
well, i think in my mind, everyone messes up and has tensions with others and... it's not a big deal! when you talk about "losing face", i question why anyone should be so concerned about that. ideally, no one will hold social grudges, nor ostracize one another, nor be afraid of conflict - after all, it's not wonderful, but it's not always so terrible either.
to always minimize conflict is to overlook actions which often derive from a hurt that someone is experiencing. when a child is mean, it is usually because they feel threatened. instead of ostracizing them from a group - understandable because they are disrupting the group, but - why not address why they are acting that way? yes, perhaps harsh words will be exchanged. but then everyone's intentions become clear. and at the very deepest level, most intentions are quite harmless. upon discussion, i understand that the other child hit me because he was feeling frustrated that i was saying things that hurt him and he did not know how to make me stop otherwise.
and yes, some of it is moral obligation as well. to phrase it as one's "conscience being clear" makes it sound like a very childish dropping of baggage (not your intention, i'm sure). it is not about expressing sentiment so much as needing to fix something that is hurting people and always living in harmony with your internal standards. if i do not act in harmony with them, why have them at all? and this action cannot be postponed, because every moment of postponement is continuing to hurt others and is a moment during which you are living out of accordance with your values. thus Fi is not so concerned about what comes afterwards. that can be dealt with later. what is important is now.
ideally, if everyone acted this way, we would all live in a harmony achieved through openness and respect of one another, rather than through covering up and group alignment. we can each be different yet in harmony because we appreciate and allow difference. sticking up for someone returns balance to a situation that is out of balance, even though that return entails conflict. it also does so in a way that involves everyone, rather than dealing with a single person; rarely is an issue the problem of a single person and rarely does dealing with a single person resolve an issue. it is not so much about making people aware of the offense - i imagine most already are - but about clarifying to everyone why it needs to be different.
i have reacted this way in a public setting before - in a very Fe dominated setting, in fact - in a situation in which i felt like someone was offering herself for a position that was much too advanced and difficult for her, and which had high potential for isolating her when she was already experiencing social issues. having taken on that position myself and struggling enough with it - and being much older and much more experienced in the group - i voiced my concerns (the girl in question was out of the room during this, as policy dictates), and then left the room too, instead of voting her in, which was a very blatant sign of disapproval. afterwards, a Fe dom manager came out and talked to me individually, voicing that she, too, shared my concerns, but she believed it to be best for the group and saw few other options. i saw many other options, but she said none of them were acceptable given our current policies. afterwards, i was treated coldly by some group members but also was approached by some who were concerned for me and many who thanked me for voicing their own concerns. i did not understand, though did appreciate, those who were concerned about me, lol. in analysis, i probably was considered less a part of the in-group after that stunt; however, the girl in the position has had much support and help, and i believe that is in part thanks to me speaking up. i also believe it has helped younger group members see that sometimes it is not bad to speak up - you may find many others sharing the same unexpressed sentiment.
to answer your questions, ideally the person in charge would respond to my concerns in a logical manner. if it is not a fair position, then i don't mind hearing why. perhaps there is something i have not thought of or accounted for. i don't mind my opinion being questioned or disproven, but i hate it being dismissed. it did affect how i spoke up later - i think after this incident i have made more of an effort to channel more logic and less emotion. heated emotion makes people take you less seriously, even though i'm really quite logical in the midst of such an outpouring. coworkers would ideally react in the same way - simply to address my opinions. i want to be heard, not my instructions followed. and ideally we can work through the problem to come to a Fe-Fi synergystic solution - one that is more than the sum of our parts. Fe seeks to streamline but may do so unevenly; Fi seeks to account for everyone but that requires much more time and energy. i believe that there can be real-life Fe-Fi solutions that help everyone by some people giving more in some areas and some giving more in others, as it suits them. streamlining evenly, but differently, from each person.