btw... i wonder do other ESFPs have good memory, too? it's amazing how much random info my boyfriend can just dig up from his brain!! he's also very gifted verbally.
Oh, mine has a
great memory. Except when I ask him to do things he doesn't want to do. Then he seems to go senile.
yvonne said:
what can happen with my ESFP, too, is that he can blow up and after he's cooled down, it's like nothing had happened (while i'm still confused, lol)... and he also cares a lot about people.
it used to be pretty hard for us sometimes making it work with our emotions... and i know that i definitely have my faults, also... haha.
My husband blows up pretty infrequently, but, honestly, I've learned to ignore it unless I did something
to him, because 99% of the time, it has nothing to do with me. In general, ESFP aren't bothered by the little things in life, so when mine is, it's usually the bigger things in the past or future being dealt with in the present by exploding. But I think a lot of that can be avoided by positive energy channeling, like a working project. My husbands hot rods and motorcycles keep him sane.
he just seems to not have much ambition/ sense about his goals in life... even though it kind of seems like he does, because he talks about it sometimes (usually when i ask him, rarely initiating that conversation himself)... but i feel like he gets stuck in instant pleasures and his sometimes irrational feelings that he can't put aside. sometimes it seems to me that he doesn't have "long term direction", or that he hasn't got a map and a compass, if that makes sense... he doesn't seem to control himself much at all, but just goes with the flow.
Long-term planning is definitely not for them, but that's where
you come in, I suppose. I know that's my lot in life. And when my planning fails, he can make things work in that moment until I regain my bearings. It's all about balance.
I think the key with ESFPs is that they have to do things their own way on their own time, and forced into doing the things that need to be done immediately if they disagree. (Kidding about that last part....mostly.) They're motivation isn't as much in the future as it is in
right now
My hubby dropped out of high school and got his GED. Went straight to college, but the long series of classes before he got to the stuff that he found applicable was unenjoyable and just not his thing. So he dropped out of college (with a .8 GPA, might I add.)
But he found a career where he could be his own boss, have freedom, lots of interaction, not be cooped up in an office, and he got
immediate satisfaction and almost-immediate rewards, and he was making six figures by the time he was twenty years old. He just handles things day to day, and hour to hour, but it works for him!
I do have to handle the money....
I learned that early on. In fact, one of the conditions of our marriage was that he would have zero control over our finances. People think that's controlling of me, but they've obviously never been married to him.
Windigo said:
Wondering what the tertiary for an ESFP would look like? What about their shadow functions?
To me, their tert Te looks like magic. Just these out of nowhere moments where they can come up with ingenious solutions to to problems...solutions that can seem completely unconventional, but work. And I think that's something incredibly important and common for ESFPs to develop to get them out of the frequent emergency situations that pesky Se-domness tends to get them into.