You have a problem of perspective since now you have met the person that is for years investing into his personal-social skills and himself as general. I have deliberately tried to make myself more desirable and it worked ... in the case you met me a few years ago this conversation would look pretty differently. The fact is that now I am prepared to engage women more directly and we will see what will come out of that.
I never trully understood what makes me "evil" or cold etc. so I am not sure what to say. However people were complaining about this.
This can come from anything: using sarcasm on the teacher everyone was afraid (students and other teachers), even some parents of other kids came to me and said that I am their hero since they would never dare to do that to this woman. It can be also that I wrote a school essay that involved chainsaws, hell and car chases. Once I have even used my planning skills in order to hidde in the female locker room of my class, what has allowed me to catch the ladies with their pants down.
It can also be because I have entered my 30s and I have never been trully in love and I am not showing clear signs or regret about that (even if I am not actually physically unattractive). I am pretty good at shooting down peoples arguments and I may even do that just for fun sometimes. I have the love for dark, shocking and bizzare things. I can be very controlling if needed, for example during college education I was a group strategist in all group assignemnts, but people liked me because there was clear lack of drama and we always had very good final results. I know about science and politics much more than a average person. I often point out/notice what people are trying to hide. I can be invisible and sneak up on people even if I do not try to do that. I have played plenty of video games through out life so once it happned that I had 3 of my friends all teamed up against me but none the less they lost 350:0 and their ego did not took that too well. Basically it is tons of little things that can make a man go crazy around me, or it could be just that people are afraid that I constantly have at least two aces in my sleeve.
Well in some cases I brooke up the circus of hooking up process and sometimes girls did it.
I liked all of them but the drama was just too strong and they did not make peace with themselves about what they really want. The trick is that as I am from ex war zone that this effect has effected everbody in my generation. I have built walls and preserved many thing while majority took much more direct hit from this.