[INTJ] ENFPS and INTJs

[Virtual ghost]

Personality wise I think I prefer INTPs. They are more outside of the box thinkers like me. But Im not sure I could feel physically attracted to one.

I believe that is more correct to say that they are just more likely to talk about their out of the box views. Not to mention that NPs will not see argument as out of the box argument if it is structured and well though out, so that it do not have holes in logic and it is ready for implementation. Ni-Te duo can be an excellent fun killer for NPs.

 

[Hapyniss]

VirtualGhost

If I can ask: Do you know anything about the ennegram of your INTJs ? Core, tritype, variant ?

I don't have a clue. Are there any smoking gun tells that I could relate to answer that question with a guesstimate?

 

[Hapyniss]

VirtualGhost - The complexity of an ENFP woman attracts the INTJ firstly by creating a puzzle for him to solve. This actually holds his interest long enough, stimulating him to experience new and interesting ideas. A muse of sorts, if you will. Albeit, she's just being herself fully and draws him in with her genuine unassuming nature. The antithesis of INTJ thought is her warmth. He can feel it and he's enticed. She is one of the only gals he's encountered whose naturally curiosity reaches far beyond the average person he's so far met. There's a secret looming in her, though. A deep appreciation for concepts and abstract thought he has not found in another human being. She's smart! Witty! Vivacious! Inquisitive! Everything that he isn't. There is an immediate banter that he finds exhilarating. Of course, this will take him days to weeks to truly analyze to his liking so his rapture continues un-thwarted. As he studies her, dissects her thoughts, delves ever deeper, he is stunned by his delayed confusion. One layer explained only to solicit more questions than answers. It is often that an INTJ male leaves a conversation with ENFP female asking himself W.T.F? several times. He's going to get to the bottom of this! Truth to tell, VirtualGhost, is he never will. He never does. The reason: I haven't one. Except the large physical curvaceous bodily feature that lingers in doorways long after I'm in the next room. <and you should hear what that ass hole says about me behind my back> By the time he believes he's gathered enough evidence to begin his evaluation - she flips the script with her spontaneity and instantly is unexplained once again. She is the only person that causes him to lose focus. One day, he wakes to find her laying in his bed. <a conundrum in of itself> Riddle me this - she's the golden ratio. She can be explained in certain terms, but morphs out of the chrysalis the same creature you expected her to be, and as you approach phi, you stand back and revel in her infinite beauty. Knowing she is more beautiful this time because of your influence. Together, they make the perfect paradox. And while other woman are completely explained and INTJ becomes disinterested before there is even time to develop feelings, she lingers. In his mind, then his bed, and then his heart.

 

[Hapyniss]

Totes agree with the bolded.

While simultaneously maddening! I still can't handle his disappearing act. If I could find the right bar graph and pie charts to help him understand that I'm having my own emotional experience while he's away, it would help greatly. Any INTJ's care to wage in on how to communicate with yourselves? We're actually in the throws of one at the moment. I'm always concerned that he's not going to come back because I know he's not emotionally involved. He could easily make the decision to remain at large.

 

[ceecee]

While simultaneously maddening! I still can't handle his disappearing act. If I could find the right bar graph and pie charts to help him understand that I'm having my own emotional experience while he's away, it would help greatly. Any INTJ's care to wage in on how to communicate with yourselves? We're actually in the throws of one at the moment. I'm always concerned that he's not going to come back because I know he's not emotionally involved. He could easily make the decision to remain at large.

Have you ever told him that?

 

[Hapyniss]

Have you ever told him that?

Not yet. It's only been a month that we've been getting to know each other. I will tell him. I've only started to have feelings rather than infatuations. This is the first time I'm truly worried about it.

 

[violet_crown]

Personality wise I think I prefer INTPs. They are more outside of the box thinkers like me. But Im not sure I could feel physically attracted to one.

INTJs dont impress me. The ones I've met all think they are more clever than they really are, I can usually see right through then and so they bore me fast. In a relationship I probably would prefer an INFJ to an INTJ: Still intellectually stimulating but no intellectual-ego.

I dated an INTP about a year ago who, in addition to being a PhD in Electrical Engineering, was hands down one of the hottest guys I've ever dated. Hotness is resolutely not type related.

Gun to my head, though, it's hard for me to say whether I'd prefer an INTP or an INTJ. I've tended to have more chemistry with INTPs, but finding an INTP that's worth picking up in the road is like finding a four leaf clover.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I think I like INTJs. An INTJ woman would be my ideal partner, I think.

[MENTION=25763]Enthusiastic_Dreamer[/MENTION], who is your ideal partner?

 

[Raspberry_rain]

If I can ask: Do you know anything about the ennegram of your INTJs ? Core, tritype, variant ?

Mine is one of those very rare NT 4s. A 4w5 to be specific. I'm also a 4w3 so that may influence our interactions some, I'm not sure. I'm afraid I don't know much about those various terms so I hope I answered your question some, if not I can try to elaborate more

 

[Betty Blue]

While simultaneously maddening! I still can't handle his disappearing act. If I could find the right bar graph and pie charts to help him understand that I'm having my own emotional experience while he's away, it would help greatly. Any INTJ's care to wage in on how to communicate with yourselves? We're actually in the throws of one at the moment. I'm always concerned that he's not going to come back because I know he's not emotionally involved. He could easily make the decision to remain at large.

Well I'm surprised you haven't answered your own question... or maybe you have but it still 'feels' scary. You seems o have the INTJ/ENFP conundrum all sewn up. But just incase... you do need to tell him this.. it is early days ... and truthfully he wouldn't be in your life at all unless he really really wanted to. INTJ's do not bother with anyone unless they see some benefit in it and they generally do all their assessing before anything begins. But the INTJ does have difficulty understanding why the fluttery ENFP wants so much reassurance when he has told her something once he does not understand why it needs repeating.

Have some kind of code word for wanting reassurance -if he understands it will make you feel more comfortable he will probably be into 'fixing' the situation.

Careful though, INTJ's do not commit easily but once they do they are usually in it for the long haul... if you do not know what you really want it may be like getting blood from a stone. It can be hard to know what you really want when you are just experiencing things anew... though as mentioned the INTJ will likely have already summarised the pro's and con's and come to a conclusion about what they want in their future. You could ask them if you are in this vision just be prepared for an honest answer.

 

[Hapyniss]

Well I'm surprised you haven't answered your own question... or maybe you have but it still 'feels' scary. You seems o have the INTJ/ENFP conundrum all sewn up. But just incase... you do need to tell him this.. it is early days ... and truthfully he wouldn't be in your life at all unless he really really wanted to. INTJ's do not bother with anyone unless they see some benefit in it and they generally do all their assessing before anything begins. But the INTJ does have difficulty understanding why the fluttery ENFP wants so much reassurance when he has told her something once he does not understand why it needs repeating.

Have some kind of code word for wanting reassurance -if he understands it will make you feel more comfortable he will probably be into 'fixing' the situation.

Careful though, INTJ's do not commit easily but once they do they are usually in it for the long haul... if you do not know what you really want it may be like getting blood from a stone. It can be hard to know what you really want when you are just experiencing things anew... though as mentioned the INTJ will likely have already summarised the pro's and con's and come to a conclusion about what they want in their future. You could ask them if you are in this vision just be prepared for an honest answer.

Yes - he and I talked about it just this past weekend. He said "I don't see any red flags at all". So I took that as a good thing.

 

[Coriolis]

VirtualGhost - The complexity of an ENFP woman attracts the INTJ firstly by creating a puzzle for him to solve. This actually holds his interest long enough, stimulating him to experience new and interesting ideas. A muse of sorts, if you will. Albeit, she's just being herself fully and draws him in with her genuine unassuming nature. The antithesis of INTJ thought is her warmth. He can feel it and he's enticed. She is one of the only gals he's encountered whose naturally curiosity reaches far beyond the average person he's so far met. There's a secret looming in her, though. A deep appreciation for concepts and abstract thought he has not found in another human being. She's smart! Witty! Vivacious! Inquisitive! Everything that he isn't. There is an immediate banter that he finds exhilarating. Of course, this will take him days to weeks to truly analyze to his liking so his rapture continues un-thwarted. As he studies her, dissects her thoughts, delves ever deeper, he is stunned by his delayed confusion. One layer explained only to solicit more questions than answers. It is often that an INTJ male leaves a conversation with ENFP female asking himself W.T.F? several times. He's going to get to the bottom of this! Truth to tell, VirtualGhost, is he never will. He never does. The reason: I haven't one. Except the large physical curvaceous bodily feature that lingers in doorways long after I'm in the next room. <and you should hear what that ass hole says about me behind my back> By the time he believes he's gathered enough evidence to begin his evaluation - she flips the script with her spontaneity and instantly is unexplained once again. She is the only person that causes him to lose focus. One day, he wakes to find her laying in his bed. <a conundrum in of itself> Riddle me this - she's the golden ratio. She can be explained in certain terms, but morphs out of the chrysalis the same creature you expected her to be, and as you approach phi, you stand back and revel in her infinite beauty. Knowing she is more beautiful this time because of your influence. Together, they make the perfect paradox. And while other woman are completely explained and INTJ becomes disinterested before there is even time to develop feelings, she lingers. In his mind, then his bed, and then his heart.

You do realize - not all ENFPs are female, and not all INTJs male.

 

[violet_crown]

You do realize - not all ENFPs are female, and not all INTJs male.

Shhh. You're ruining it for them.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

Shhh. You're ruining it for them.

For who? [MENTION=25763]Enthusiastic_Dreamer[/MENTION]?

 

[Coriolis]

Shhh. You're ruining it for them.

Some misconceptions deserve to be ruined.

I'm tired of getting the short end of that stick.

 

[Hapyniss]

You do realize - not all ENFPs are female, and not all INTJs male.

*Gasp* I. Had. No. Idea. <enlightened> That is all

(It was actually an answer specific from another thread)

 

[Betty Blue]

Yes - he and I talked about it just this past weekend. He said "I don't see any red flags at all". So I took that as a good thing.

Lol yes... for your thousand words he may emit just one sentence. Wait until you start to question what that actually meant (after deciding that it makes perfect sense and is the answer you were looking for) and look at the alternative possibilities and require more assurances... oh... and so it goes on. I will tell you though, your first thought, the one that did reassure you, is the real one.

 

[violet_crown]

Some misconceptions deserve to be ruined.

I'm tired of getting the short end of that stick.

I've always been curious if, as an INTJ woman, ENFP men hold the same appeal to you as they apparently do for your male counterparts? I find that the whole ENTJ/INFP thing has held true for me in my experience. The attraction can be pretty visceral in both platonic and romantic interactions I've had with that type. I tend to avoid it, though, as the potential for codependency and emotional outsourcing when it comes to that particular pairing is very, very real. It's also prone to sudden unforeseen implosions.

<enlightened>

She tends to have that effect on people.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I've always been curious if, as an INTJ woman, ENFP men hold the same appeal to you as they apparently do for your male counterparts? I find that the whole ENTJ/INFP thing has held true for me in my experience. The attraction can be pretty visceral in both platonic and romantic interactions I've had with that type. I tend to avoid it, though, as the potential for codependency and emotional outsourcing when it comes to that particular pairing is very, very real. It's also prone to sudden unforeseen implosions.

She likes INTP men and thinks that INTJ women make good partners for INTP men.

 

[Redbone]

I've always gotten along very well with NTJs. I don't know what is about them (okay, so I'm too lazy to think and type all that out right now...sorry). It's just an instant hit/click with them. I don't find them mean, cold or whatever other stuff that gets tacked on about them. Can't be true...naw.