You can't get mad at someone else because they're not perfect like you thought they were. All this does is reinforce FP paranoia about needing to be perfect anyway - it's like the worst nightmare to have our suspicions confirmed that we need to be perfect to deserve love or whatever. What I'm hearing here is FPs shouldn't get as much slack because we have high standards we strive to live up to - but because you expect others to let you down, then they're not as hurtful when the do? That's really weird to me....
That's not what I was implying at all. It's not that I hold FP's to a higher standard than non-FP's. It's that I "learn" from their frequent good behavior (let's say that I become "conditioned") that they are "do gooders" who don't want to hurt people - who genuinely want the best for the people they profess to care about. Where you misunderstood me is that I don't put the onus on the INFP to "continue being perfect". They're human and I'm smart enough to understand that. What I was saying is that, because of their good hearts and character, I sort of come to believe that they would never hurt me (at least not in a major, dealbreaking, OMG I can't believe you did that kind of way). And then when it happens, it hurts more - simply because of the shock factor or the surpise element. It's obviously an issue with me, but when you're young and haven't met a lot of FP's, well, you still have some learning to do when it comes to people.
It's like if your loved one is always home from work at the same time every day, without fail. And you get to a point where you just know them like the back of your hand. You know that they will be home every day at that same time. And then one day, out of the blue, they are late. And you know something is wrong. Something must have gone wrong or happened because it's SO out of character for them.
So, FP's have the same "room for error" in my personal "book of judgment", but after you learn one thing from a person over and over and then they suddenly show a different hand one day, it can produce some serious shock value. Like if you had an INTP friend who was insanely good at math. Every time you needed help with math, he knew the answer. Then one day you were like, "How much of a tip should I leave?" And he was like, "Heck if I know. Figure it out yourself!"
It's a surprise because it goes against the behavior that he has shown repeatedly, over and over, in the past. That's all. It doesn't mean that he is REQUIRED to help you with math or that the FP is REQUIRED to be a perfect person. It's just about the shock that it produces because it's so sudden and
seemingly out of character.