[INFJ] You know you're an INFJ when...

[Thursday]

bravo thunderlight

 

[sade]

You could convince anyone to have faith in you yet you always second guess secretly.Actually, you're a damn good liar and people believe you for some odd reason:
"You would never do this", "You're such a good person"
pffft! xD

I don't understand why people get convinced. It's strange.
And for the second part, the only person aware of that tendency of mine is mom. Sometimes she laughs at people (naturally when we're alone) for thinking me to be a better person than I am or thinking those things of me. I simply wonder inside my head; how people don't notice it. It's really clear in my eyes. Actually my granny laughs at this too. The same when I give them detailed describtions of people and my thoughts of them. I do sometimes feel offended when mom asks that "What did you get out of it?" "What did that help with?" I'm not that bad. She does know though that I like to help people out. I just happen to get a bigger pay check also if they give their shifts etc to me.. And no, I didn't make them give them to me. I would never manipulate someone.

I do sometimes help people on the street. Or if some granny comes asking where the cereals are in the store. siiigh.. Then again I do sometimes receive unused parking tickets etc. Karma?

 

[gloomy-optimist]

In summary: people you've never met or met recently ask you for favors/help/advice. Randomly. And they sometimes begin with "I've never told anyone else this, but...."

 

[Dwigie]

In summary: people you've never met or met recently ask you for favors/help/advice. Randomly. And they sometimes begin with "I've never told anyone else this, but...."

Jackpot! got that about 3 weeks ago!I actually like the feeling,it makes me feel useful, I like being "useful" in that sense.
Even if at times people overdo in that "trust".I'm a human being, of course I'll slip sometimes.

 

[MrRandom]

You know you're an INFJ when others take you seriously when you are only joking and think you are joking when you are actually serious. This happens to me a lot.

You know you're an INFJ when all your childhood you've heard how you're somehow more mature than others.

You know you're an INFJ when you don't pay attention to your body's signals. You'd rather eat later, go to sleep later, go to the toilet later, go see a doctor later...

I think an INFJ could be one of the most manipulative people ever.

I was extremely manipulative already as a four-year-old kid. I got other kids to do anything, for example completely destroying their own favorite toy (which was followed by them realizing what happened and crying nonstop). I was never intentionally evil; I was merely experimenting with the power of words, the non-physical power I can have over others. I know that doesn't justify it in any way, but please remember that I was just a toddler. It took few more years to develop a greater sense of empathy.

 

[gloomy-optimist]

Jackpot! got that about 3 weeks ago!I actually like the feeling,it makes me feel useful, I like being "useful" in that sense.
Even if at times people overdo in that "trust".I'm a human being, of course I'll slip sometimes.

Yeah; sometimes it gets really awkward...one girl I just met told me basically how she was suicidal when she was younger, though she said she didn't tell anyone...and it gets hard trying to make sure you're not betraying anyone's secrets sometimes

 

[Dwigie]

Yeah; sometimes it gets really awkward...one girl I just met told me basically how she was suicidal when she was younger, though she said she didn't tell anyone...and it gets hard trying to make sure you're not betraying anyone's secrets sometimes

Similar experience but now that I think about it, I think I simply "attracted" this kind of behavior from others to me in a way?
This girl I knew before had family problems, her mother passed away and her father was having financial problems. So I felt really bad for her because she came into my class and nobody was paying any attention to her whatsoever.Poor girl!She wasn't new but people would just ignore her. Having dealt with something similar very recently I decided to "take care?"of her in a way. I'm pretty resilient emotionally so I cope rather well. I told her she seemed completely lost and lonely in class randomly one day while she was in the bathroom xD(I was speaking to her when she was on the trone ). So then I told her pretty implicit things and comments as a way to get closer to her and I was really "natural" about it so it made her comfortable I guess. Then she kept pouring her heart onto me regularly, I appreciate her a lot.
I read in the infp and infj "closer look" that infj tend to be more self-disclosing, true for me. It's funny because I don't consider her a close friend of mine at all.I think if she were a stranger...I'd do the same. I'm pretty "open" in that sense...Are you guys like that too?

 

[gloomy-optimist]

Similar experience but now that I think about it, I think I simply "attracted" this kind of behavior from others to me in a way?
This girl I knew before had family problems, her mother passed away and her father was having financial problems. So I felt really bad for her because she came into my class and nobody was paying any attention to her whatsoever.Poor girl!She wasn't new but people would just ignore her. Having dealt with something similar very recently I decided to "take care?"of her in a way. I'm pretty resilient emotionally so I cope rather well. I told her she seemed completely lost and lonely in class randomly one day while she was in the bathroom xD(I was speaking to her when she was on the trone ). So then I told her pretty implicit things and comments as a way to get closer to her and I was really "natural" about it so it made her comfortable I guess. Then she kept pouring her heart onto me regularly, I appreciate her a lot.
I read in the infp and infj "closer look" that infj tend to be more self-disclosing, true for me. It's funny because I don't consider her a close friend of mine at all.I think if she were a stranger...I'd do the same. I'm pretty "open" in that sense...Are you guys like that too?

Definitely, to a degree; I've said before that I'm an "open book" if the situation, person, and mood calls for it. There's basically nothing that I won't tell someone else, if I feel they won't judge me on it. The only problem is, I waaaay too often feel judged. And even if someone means well, if they overreact to it in any way, it becomes uncomfortable for me; there's a very exact mood that needs to be portrayed, but when that condition exists, I'm a very open person.

 

[Thunderlight]

wherever you go, people think you work there
and or you're mistaken for things you're not officially

yes! this has definitely happened to me a lot! In clothing stores, book stores, and sports clothes stores.

Has anyone else notices that we talk about people spilling their brains out to us, but here we are doing the same. I think its because people usually don't give us the same time? I feel this way anyways...

 

[Thursday]

yes! this has definitely happened to me a lot! In clothing stores, book stores, and sports clothes stores.

Has anyone else notices that we talk about people spilling their brains out to us, but here we are doing the same. I think its because people usually don't give us the same time? I feel this way anyways...

perhaps INFJs only vent to other INFJs ?
nah
i spilled the black beans to an ISTJ and INFP

 

[Apollanaut]

^Aww I just like helping people sometimes. I cannot walk away from someone in need, I hate that sometimes. Maybe there is some kind of charge to that, though I don't seem to knowingly feel it.

I'm like that as well, except that sometimes I do get a big charge if I've been particularly selfless when helping others.

 

[Apollanaut]

You know you're an INFJ when you even confuse yourself!

 

[Thursday]

You know you're an INFJ when you even confuse yourself!

do you know how many times i've doubted and or changed my type ?
more than i've posted a thread about it
so its about 100 times in a year.

 

[batumi]

You say something abstract and interesting that you don't remember thinking about first and others are impressed by it.
Example. I once said that someone who spoke very persuasively could "talk a piece of moldy bread into a wedding cake".

 

[Thursday]

You say something abstract and interesting that you don't remember thinking about first and others are impressed by it.
Example. I once said that someone who spoke very persuasively could "talk a piece of moldy bread into a wedding cake".

*anticipates with fork and coffee

P.S. I don't drink coffee

 

[Dwigie]

do you know how many times i've doubted and or changed my type ?
more than i've posted a thread about it
so its about 100 times in a year.

Oh boy, I can relate.The funny thing is, I'm starting to think that either I was extremely biased in my answers at first and got ESFJ (What I'm supposed to "strive to be"?).After reading a while, it sounded great to me...nobody agreed.And yeah I'll admit I did picture for that "such a good person" archetype=> outgoing, fun, responsible, down to earth etc..
Then I got INTP, I spoke to some of them...it quickly became clear that was not me.xD, ISFP:Now that was a really close one but I'm just too much into "the clouds"...and not that open-ended anyways.I don't mind letting people make decisions but one has to be made, quick. Then I accidentally fell onto the INFJ portrait and personal growth page especially: .
Fitted me more than INFP I had settled for a while back.

 

[FemMecha]

I think any type is capable of hurting others if they want to badly enough. Empathy means understanding another person from their point of view. This information I suppose could make it easier to strike a central nerve, but it could also result in sharing the hurt of doing it.

I don't agree. For some, there are people that can be written off, and anything coming out of their mouths is dismissed. Haven't you seen that happen with two people?

One keeps trying to be heard, but everything they say makes it less likely.

I agree that people write each other off - maybe even most of the time. Empathy is a rather underused skill from what I've seen. What I meant is that the more naturally empathetic the person is, the greater the cost in hurting others because they share in the repercussions. If it is the type of empathy that experiences alongside another person and not the type that analyzes from a distance to view a system. I suppose I focus on both approaches, but the analysis tends to result in the experiencing to at least some degree.

I knew someone who was hurting someone I cared a great deal about. My first response was anger and I could see a particular fracture in that person's mind. They had a pathological fear of something that represented traits that they also possessed. My true understanding of that individual did not come until I spent time thinking from her vantage point. I then saw that the initial observation was not as important as a deeper, more holistic picture. I think that this person could have been deeply hurt by exploiting the specific fracture, but equally so by the tried and true generalized way people club one another with shame, fear, pain, etc.

In one way it is not possible to hurt someone else without damaging some part of self as well because if we had lived the other person's life, we might behave exactly as they do. Intolerance towards others ultimately results in intolerance for our self. We place a condition on the type of circumstances that produce certain behaviors that we find acceptable and thank god we happen to fall into the right category. That's a hard way to live.

Apologies for going a little off topic. It is an issue of central importance to me though, so hard to leave alone. Maybe you know you are an infj when you start over analyzing on a tangent.

 

[sade]

You know you're an INFJ when others take you seriously when you are only joking and think you are joking when you are actually serious. This happens to me a lot.

You know you're an INFJ when all your childhood you've heard how you're somehow more mature than others.

You know you're an INFJ when you don't pay attention to your body's signals. You'd rather eat later, go to sleep later, go to the toilet later, go see a doctor later...

I relate, too much infact.

About spilling the beans in this thread, I think it's partly because expression through writing is easy to us and the fact that we've got so many people here who relate and understand...?

 

[ByMySword]

You say something abstract and interesting that you don't remember thinking about first and others are impressed by it.
Example. I once said that someone who spoke very persuasively could "talk a piece of moldy bread into a wedding cake".

Yep.

 

[ByMySword]

Apologies for going a little off topic. It is an issue of central importance to me though, so hard to leave alone. Maybe you know you are an infj when you start over analyzing on a tangent.

Most definitely. Especially when the tangent is something nobody else cares about. Not saying that yours was, .