So who's excluding more people's opinions: the NFJ that goes along with what's good for the majority, or the NFP that goes along with what's good for himself in order to truly understand other human beings on a very deep, personal, and individual level (also known as empathizing, in case you were confused)?
I find it hard to swallow that you could make any sort of argument for "I'm gonna go along with what most other people want" being more selfish than "I'm always gonna go with what I want, everyone else be damned because I believe insincerity is deceptive, dishonest, and unfair to the other individuals involved."
As is usually the case with you, sim,
you're largely missing the fucking point.
But I already fixed your post for you, so don't sweat it.
Fi may have the deepest potential for empathy, but it's still going to place its own values above the needs of others whenever the two conflict. What I like about FJs is that they don't do that--others come first for the sake of helping others, which strikes me as genuinely selfless.
You're still not seeing things from our point of view ["seeing things our way" doesn't have to mean "agreeing with us," jtlyk]. You're so convinced that one is
more selfless than the other. It seems contradictory to the whole "don't clump all individuals of a type or all users of a function into the same group as behaving the same way" mentality here - although from that reply I don't necessarily think you should be judging whether
anyone is selfless or not.
You also make FJs sound like doormats: "They're givers! [Implicit: I'm a taker!] So this will for sure work." I get the sense that because NFPs don't succumb to your every whim you consider us selfish, and I find that only a little annoying, but I could be wrong about that sense. I mean you know Fi: fickle, fickle, fickle!
I'd surely take issue with your proclamation that "most of the time you're right." I've lost count of how many times NFPs have made incorrect assessments of my belief system based on picking up cues that weren't really there.
It's just because you're a mutant.
Our license doesn't cover that.
And yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's impossible to fulfill his standards because it's considered offensive if I'm not fully honest about my opinions, but it's also offensive if my opinions don't support him. And since he chooses his values over adapting to me, there's no convincing him to do something different.
Then go ahead and just break the damn friendship off already. It appears to me that it is quite
impossible for you the ENTP to understand this silly and melodramatic INFP friend of yours.
Do yourself a favor.
One of his key values is that friends should support each other, so if he's upset about something and I don't support/overtly agree with him about it, I'm in violation of that value and he gets upset with me. So the only option I'm left with in order to preserve our friendship is to just lie and placate him when I think he's being melodramatic about something insignificant. I don't understand how any other option is viable.
He may not be unhealthy or underdeveloped or immature or anything like that. I'm thinking you just don't understand him and that it's clearly beyond your capabilities
to understand where he's coming from, so because you can't wholly fulfill your role as his friend, you need to, like I said before, just cut off that deadweight. That's your other viable option. We don't want you to strain yourself in trying to make this thing work, or in trying to [God forbid] actually understand the essence of Fi, besides its inherent selfishness of course.