[ENFP] xNFP and selfishness?

[Thalassa]

It still sounds funny that you are comparing the categorizing of people to categorizing of music- and movie genres

Think of it more in terms of relating to others, and it kind of explains, for example, why people express things differently than you might *wish they would* but understand at the same time that's who they are. Like... not forcing an introvert to be an extrovert, or pressuring Intuitive types to act more like Sensors, or vice versa. IRL it really has kind of made me stop and think of why people do things and how I might interpret them differently than how they intended them.

At least that's how I look at it. There's more to it than that, though. Like self-understanding, accepting your own strengths and weaknesses. I think that all of these practices are considered "healthy" in psychology, MBTI is just a tool for it, I guess.

 

[Ginkgo]

You know what's cool? All of these discrepancies can be explained through functional theory!

So, the endless battle rages on, ENTP and ENTJ, locked in combat like mating crabs! They struggle for the right to be dominant! To inseminate the female and carry on, the babies cannibalizing the mother and then eventually becoming drug addicts! Then one of them aspires to make it big in the music industry, but then THIS HAPPENS!

[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tW6QKd1O6a0"]Fry, Fry it's American Fry[/YOUTUBE]

WHY has fate befallen us so????

 

[Thalassa]

You know what's cool? All of these discrepancies can be explained through functional theory!

So, the endless battle rages on, ENTP and ENTJ, locked in combat like mating crabs! They struggle for the right to be dominant! To inseminate the female and carry on, the babies cannibalizing the mother and then eventually becoming drug addicts! Then one of them aspires to make it big in the music industry, but then THIS HAPPENS!

[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tW6QKd1O6a0"]Fry, Fry it's American Fry[/YOUTUBE]

WHY has fate befallen us so????

They're more like two scorpions mating.

[YOUTUBE="D4qj9KEwXa0"]Scorpions Mating Looks Like Fighting[/YOUTUBE]

 

[niberrizbe25]

It is not about the selfishness, it is about the realness. if something goes against our values we disregard it ad continue on tilll we hit something real. That is the Ne and Fi at work. I am so drunk right now but more thruthful for that matter... Enfps are selfish only in the way that they move to the beat of their internal drum and not the beat of the outsider. But who you rather have? Somebody that is aware of social influences and actrs accordingly to fit in (Fe) or somebody that does not give a fuck about the status quote and decides to be themselves anyways? who is the real individual?! we are not as selfish as we are true. So human nature is a bit selfish... get over it and concentrate on the good qualities. Melancholic thoughts bring more melancholic despair. Give me a break and be happy!

 

[CzeCze]

So in the past months the past two women ive been attracted to have 2 things in common..
1. They were both xNFP, [one tested more E, one more I]
2. I cant help but get the vibe they only want to talk about themselves.

Honest to god, one of them was a ginormous flirt, and was open about it, it was very obvious the relationship from her perspective was 90% eye candy and 10% communication. as all she wanted to seem to do when around me was talk about other boys she hangs out with and takes pictures of me.
The other, relationship is a healthy 10% attraction and 90% communication. but the communication is always about her. when a topic is coming to a close its like she just keeps saying random shiz about her friends and stuff i already know and is just shouting awkward small talk. the connection is there but dear god does she really not care so much as to put off the topic of me?

insight? help?

Wow page 27 and I have no idea what the discussion is about anymore...lol.

But, to answer the OP - what is your age range? It sounds like the girls were a combination of super excited/super nervous to be talking to you.

LOLOL your consternation makes me giggle. I'm sure the girls who like you feel similarly.

Part of this may be that you have a very 'sanguine' energy about you which is not uncommon for INFPs. Basically, you aren't as animated or visibly reactive when people speak to you and you don't talk a lot. So these girls end up trying to fill in all that silence and try to get a [positive] reaction out of you with all their talking. Is it painfully awkward or you think they just talk too much?

I think once they settle down and get comfortable around you this should stop ^^.

It's true, even in their nervousness or excitability they should ask more questions about you - but the first girl who keeps trying to take pictures of you? I guess that was her sign of showing you she wants more of you?

You can try injecting "Yeah, I did that too last summer and XYZ" and flipping the convo back to you and inject some balance. It could be they are used to talking with chatty people where people jump in without necessarily being asked. And you can politely say, "I remember that story, you told me it already". People tell me that every "once in a while".

 

[Jaguar]

It is not about the selfishness, it is about the realness. if something goes against our values we disregard it ad continue on tilll we hit something real. That is the Ne and Fi at work. I am so drunk right now but more thruthful for that matter... Enfps are selfish only in the way that they move to the beat of their internal drum and not the beat of the outsider. But who you rather have? Somebody that is aware of social influences and actrs accordingly to fit in (Fe) or somebody that does not give a fuck about the status quote and decides to be themselves anyways? who is the real individual?! we are not as selfish as we are true. So human nature is a bit selfish... get over it and concentrate on the good qualities. Melancholic thoughts bring more melancholic despair. Give me a break and be happy!

Despite the fact you claim to have written this while being drunk, lol, it's actually a damn good post!

 

[William K]

Despite the fact you claim to have written this while being drunk, lol, it's actually a damn good post!

Being drunk helps you achieve your true state?

 

[niberrizbe25]

Being drunk helps you achieve your true state?

Oish no, you misunderstand me Sir Unicorn. I never let anything have that much control over me. Being with great friends and having crazy spring break fun does bring some enlightening perspectives, though! The alcohol is just a catalyst.

 

[Jaguar]

Being drunk helps you achieve your true state?

That wasn't even remotely the point.

 

[runvardh]

You can try injecting "Yeah, I did that too last summer and XYZ" and flipping the convo back to you and inject some balance. It could be they are used to talking with chatty people where people jump in without necessarily being asked. And you can politely say, "I remember that story, you told me it already". People tell me that every "once in a while".

I say this to my brother two out of every three times he talks - I'm slowly getting used to it.

 

[niberrizbe25]

That wasn't even remotely the point.

Thank you Jaguar. If somebody ever wants to jump you I got your back!

 

[simulatedworld]

I'm planning to jump Jaguar as he leaves his house tomorrow morning. See, I set it up by sending him these cute pink bunny slippers so that he'll slip and fall when he tries to physically defend himself. It's bulletproof!

 

[uumlau]

I'm planning to jump Jaguar as he leaves his house tomorrow morning. See, I set it up by sending him these cute pink bunny slippers so that he'll slip and fall when he tries to physically defend himself. It's bulletproof!

Ooo. Bulletproof bunny slippers!