Will ISTJ guys ever make a first move?

[Littlemy2016]

Hi all,

I met an ISTJ guy at work and I think he likes me, he would proactively tell me his type and his introverted personality; every time when we had lunch or went for a drink, he would tell me more about himself and sometimes his family which I think I am kinda special, he would also be chivalrous to pay for every meal and help me to carry things....

My question is we've known each other for about two years and it seems he likes me a lot, but he still not asks me out for a date? I can tell he is happy when I invite him to do anything together, Will ISTJ guy make the first move to ask a girl out? Or he will just wait?

 

[SearchingforPeace]

Hi all,

I met an ISTJ guy at work and I think he likes me, he would proactively tell me his type and his introverted personality; every time when we had lunch or went for a drink, he would tell me more about himself and sometimes his family which I think I am kinda special to Introverted people, he would also be a gentleman to pay for our every meal and help me to carry things....

My question is we've been known each other for about two years and it seems he likes me a lot, but he still not asks me out for a date? I can tell he is happy when I invite him to do anything together, Will ISTJ guy make a first move to ask a girl out? Or he will just wait?

Unless he is 50+, no. And even then....... You need to give him clear directions and tasks. ISTJs love EFPs. They crave everything about them. But you need to make the moves and advance the relationship.

 

[Yama]

Depends completely on the individual. In my personal experience, which may differ from others, ISTJs tend to be more cautious and guarded and don't like making moves unless they are absolutely sure they will be successful.

 

[ceecee]

Hi all,

I met an ISTJ guy at work and I think he likes me, he would proactively tell me his type and his introverted personality; every time when we had lunch or went for a drink, he would tell me more about himself and sometimes his family which I think I am kinda special, he would also be chivalrous to pay for every meal and help me to carry things....

My question is we've known each other for about two years and it seems he likes me a lot, but he still not asks me out for a date? I can tell he is happy when I invite him to do anything together, Will ISTJ guy make the first move to ask a girl out? Or he will just wait?

Ask him out or this likely goes nowhere. Yes I know this goes against the whole men make the first move nonsense people still believe but really - if you want him you'll have to go get him and/or tell him your intentions and how you feel.

 

[Tellenbach]

It's the potential for awkwardness in the future if things don't work out. The ISTJ would feel uncomfortable if the relationship bombed and he/she had to work in the same building as the ex.

 

[strychnine]

I'm an ESFP as well and IME generally extraverts in general will need to reach out and make the first move on an introvert they are interested in. There can be exceptions, but in general, extraverts tend to be initiating and introverts responding. Of course, ISTJs are introverts so I say you reach out if you're interested.

Btw, hope it works out for you both - best of luck. ESFP-ISTJ is supposed to be an excellent match. I'd be interested in an ISTJ myself

There is the gender issue as well yes but personally, I would not be offended if a man or woman made the first move.

It's the potential for awkwardness in the future if things don't work out. The ISTJ would feel uncomfortable if the relationship bombed and he/she had to work in the same building as the ex.

This is always a factor for those you work with. Yep. It would be a concern even for me as an ESFP.

 

[Littlemy2016]

Thanks for all your comments, anything I should say or text - ISTJ guy would feel loved and important?

 

[Tilt]

Thanks for all your comments, anything I should say or text - ISTJ guy would feel loved and important?

Show appreciation for the little things that they do for you but at the same time don't make it a big/huge deal... and do it in private. Works for all ISTJ guys I have gotten to know.

Sometimes, I will simply text, "I had fun... Let's do it again sometime." Or "That article you sent me was quite helpful... Thanks."