Why We Think We Can See Through Others

[Z Buck McFate]

Here is an idea to gauge the extent to which we do this individually:

If someone actually tells you that you are wrong about the assumption you have of them, do you listen and consider you could be wrong, or do you dismiss them and say, "no, I'm right, and you are wrong about yourself"? If you do the latter, then that is a strong indication of closed-minded, incorrect reading of other people.

Honestly, I've been guilty of jumping to conclusions about people and was worse when I was younger. It is because I put a lot of time and effort into understanding people. That effort sometimes results in skill, but the times that effort has been directed down the wrong path, the times I've worked building faulty inner constructs, are the times I've been possibly more wrong than when I jump to a thoughtless conclusion. I have to also push past confirmation bias, because that is part of the experience of drawing a solid conclusion.

If I could actually be a person with all of the traits people have verbally judged me as having, I'd have multiple personalities. There is an absurdity about judging other people quickly, and I'm sorry for the times I've done it to people. I think it is best to always stop short of the final conclusion. Have a theory, even a hypothesis, have two or more, but realize the information is ongoing, so there is no final word on it.

I agree with everything under the spoiler, and want to add that I know something is amiss if I feel like I somehow need the thing to be true. It could be ego (and needing to feel like 'the person who can see through others', because it's part of one's identity and without it we aren't worth as much), or defensiveness (needing 'insight' into someone's 'bad character' as means to dismiss a hurtful attack, or something), or any other number of reasons. But if I feel any emotional attachment to the "insight" I think I'm seeing, then I instinctively know I'm on shaky ground.

When I humor 'insight' without feeling any emotional attachment to it being true, and it consistently still seems true, that's when I tend to trust it the most.