[MBTI General] Why NFs think that they understand NTs ?

[Virtual ghost]

Not necessarily....It's a pretty intense piece of information. I know I wouldn't neccesarily react at the time, that said and done, I'd mulling over it, and would probably react quite intensely in private.
My depth of feeling would more likely be shown in more practical measures.(like driving them to the police station, making sure they felt safe, that sort of thing) I can't count how many times friends have screamed at me for not reacting to things straight away....
Not that I'm defending AO, but lack of reaction doesn't equal heartless bastard.
Some bad things you hear about people kinda leave me scratching my head too- I'm mean what are you suppose to do with that (or do about it). It's not that I don't feel bad...but I can't do anything about it either.

And in talking about this, I suddenly think I understand the OP.
AO, do you mean like situations as above?
I may come across like I understand where you (as in NT) are coming from, but I don't really....it's more I identify with the situation.


We're not coming from the same place, but the reaction is similar.

Well you said some things before me so that means we are thinking similary here. Yes I am thinking about sitation like this.
For example someone says to "My grandfather died last night". Ok you
grandfather died I am sorry but I am wrong person if you want to have a cry fest in two.


But this does not mean that I am talking only about this. This can be about positive stuff as well. Since impressing me is pretty much mission impossible.
So I am one of those people that are standing in the background and roll eyes. I have stoped to celebrate my birthdays exactly because I did not get anything form them. I haven't celebrated my bithday for last 14 years and to be honest I am not bothered by this.

When I was a kid I needed to read novels and poetry but I found it to be a quite a waste of time. Since iI could not relate to anything and I have rolled my eyes on pretty much everything that is "for the kids"


I remember that at the first grade I made a lot of other kids cry by claiming that the entire Christmas-Santa-Presents thing is nothing but a phantasy/fraud.



I am sorry but I am a Grinch.

 

[Virtual ghost]

^True. One needs people who are calm under pressure. But being empathic doesn't require one to run around like a headless chicken. Can you imagine a world without empathy? Maybe that will answer your question about why it horrifies people. Empathy acts as a restraint against our lower impulses.

I am well aware of that. I know exactly why it horrifies people but I have managed to convince people that are closer to me that I am not a bad person.


But all of this does not mean that I can't make a joke from time to time or normally talk to people. I am not lost in my life.

 

[runvardh]

Would you care to explain this claim in more detail ?

I have a habit of showing up out of nowhere as well; my mother and a number of girlfriends have jumped a few times because of me. I also tend to function in the dark untill my roommate comes home and wonders why all the lights are off. I don't have the intense look though, so that probably helps my case out. My supervisor often teases me saying "I'm nice to you so that when you go postal you won't kill me".

Lastly, one girl I used to date ended up calling me cold to her friends and said that was the reason why she stopped talking to me. She never gave me the chance to tell her that my only other option was one that would be debilitating. I guess when I'm trying to be strong for someone else and needing to still get things done in life I end up coming off as cold.

I will say, however, that I am lucky that both my roommate and my supervisor are ENTPs so they're not always poking at me about if I'm ok all the time. It's kind of nice when the only issue seems to be my social awkwardness.

 

[Salomé]

I am well aware of that. I know exactly why it horrifies people but I have managed to convince people that are closer to me that I am not a bad person.

Then why waste everyone's time asking?

 

[Domino]

Blue Monday, I wish to hug you with my stiff cold robot arms in a most passionate-styled fashion.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Then why waste everyone's time asking?

When I said "convinced" I meant that I have convinced them that I am not a complete psycho and that there is no need for them to call the police.
But people still think that I am quite weird.


I mean I understand at superficial level like "Ok you are not too empathic you could be a bad person". I what makes sense.
But all of this are mostly my conclusions. So I could be wrong about a lot of things. Especially since this is not "my field".



Btw. this thread was not designed to be just about me.

 

[Domino]

Great! This thread should be about me.

Why? Because I totally unequivocally understand NTs. Why? Because I'm awesome like that. Why? Because God came to my house and said, "You know what? I've read your application to be Cosmically Awesome and I approve. Go forth and awesome all over the place in an awesome fashion." Why? Because God has great taste in people. Why? Because someone has to. Why? Because then everything would be rather homogeneous and monochrome, which are both big words. Why? Because big words are always at least 8 letters long. Why? Because I say so. Why? Because God said so. Why? Because I'm "talent". Why? Because "talent" will make a cool slang tag word at some point and I plan on spreading it, along with my Cosmic Awesomeness [tm], at the next party I attend. Why? Because I like robots.

ooooh. I see.

 

[Salomé]

^^Lmao. You might just be craxy enough to understand us!



AO, What are you seeking? Validation that you're not a bad person?

Why is it disturbing ?
...
I am exactly the kind of person you need around since I am not efected by this.
...
Maybe it is disturbing but I don't think that this is a bad trait if you take a look at the big picture.

I am not just cold and calculated.
....
I know, I should adapt to some social standards.

I think that I am quite likely to come as a sociopath or something similar.
....
On the other hand all of this is exactly why people find me interesting.
....
Opinions?

You seem quite anxious about this whole topic. Why is that?

Does it bother you that people think you are weird?

 

[heart]

AO, I don't think psychopaths spend a lot of time worrying over what others think of them. They spend more of their time thinking how to manipulate to play power games. They usually are good at mimicking empathetic behaviors to get what they want from others. They are con men.

 

[runvardh]

Shit Blue, just looking at your selection of his statements that reminds me of a good numbe of my own insecurities - some I've dealt with, others I'm still trying to beat on.

 

[Cimarron]

Well you said some things before me so that means we are thinking similary here. Yes I am thinking about sitation like this.
For example someone says to "My grandfather died last night". Ok you
grandfather died I am sorry but I am wrong person if you want to have a cry fest in two.


But this does not mean that I am talking only about this. This can be about positive stuff as well. Since impressing me is pretty much mission impossible.
So I am one of those people that are standing in the background and roll eyes. I have stoped to celebrate my birthdays exactly because I did not get anything form them. I haven't celebrated my bithday for last 14 years and to be honest I am not bothered by this.

When I was a kid I needed to read novels and poetry but I found it to be a quite a waste of time. Since iI could not relate to anything and I have rolled my eyes on pretty much everything that is "for the kids"


I remember that at the first grade I made a lot of other kids cry by claiming that the entire Christmas-Santa-Presents thing is nothing but a phantasy/fraud.



I am sorry but I am a Grinch.

Well, a lot of people can relate to this, I think. They struggle with trying not to offend or frighten society, some on a mild scale and some on an extreme scale. You probably already know this.

More than most factors, I think this affects people's reactions to you most strongly: The more your behavior deviates from expected and "normal" according to most of society, the more people will be unsure of how to react around you, unsure of how to deal with you, and perhaps even disturbed by you. That can be on the T/F scale, the S/N scale, the I/E scale, the J/P scale, or maybe outside of those altogether.

 

[TaylorS]

Why is it disturbing ? Ok the person got raped but getting depressed over this is stupid/pointless by my opinion. I am pretty sure that you could not control your feelings but that does not mean that your reaction is right thing to do. (Unless you are helping someone in need. )

I mean this is pretty much lose/lose if you look at it carefully.
I at least have lose/0 . If we presume that the ethic is the right way.



On the other hand imagine the world where people like me don't exist.
Imagine that someone gets raped and everybody start to freak out. What is not unusual scenario.
In the case like that I am exactly the kind of person you need around since I am not efected by this. What means that I remain my head cool and I am see what is going on clearly. While others are freaking out. I was in the kindergarten when I have dicovered that I have this strength and in some sitautions it was quite useful personality trait to have.


Maybe it is disturbing but I don't think that this is a bad trait if you take a look at the big picture.

Being emotionally upset does not necessarily = freaking out. From my perspective feeling the pain of others is a powerful motivator, pulling me out of my introverted comfort zone. In this particular example it motivated me to volunteer at the local rape and abuse crisis center. I guess thats Fe at work, I can't NOT be emotional in such situations, it seems... inhuman.

 

[Synarch]

I think many NF's have a better time understanding NT's than the converse as they are naturally more people oriented, ie. they care enough to try to understand.

 

[Virtual ghost]

^^Lmao. You might just be craxy enough to understand us!

AO, What are you seeking? Validation that you're not a bad person?

You seem quite anxious about this whole topic. Why is that?

Does it bother you that people think you are weird?

Actually I am wondering why I don't care in most cases. But since all of my thinking about this is coming out on this forum I can clearly see why someone would think I have a problem with this.
Actually my self confidance is quite high probably even too high.
What mean means that I am not bothered by opinions of others in real life in most cases. So what got my attention is that I am not bothered by idea that I am not a good person.

But this is a subject of some other threads of mine.



In a way I have lived so isolationistic life until a few months ago that I am not even fully aware of where I belong socially.
The reason why am opening so many threads is exactly because I am trying to understand where I actually am.
This is why many members can have a feeling that I am hidding something and that is why I once a month say in some what I am doing here.
There are even cases when I am like
"Hmm....what will happen if I type this?" and I type it just for the sake of curiosity. But I try not to do this to often.



Also I said a few pages back that I am thinking about stoping.
Because I am technically done. Since I am making some progress in real life. Which is exactly because I am not actually a bad person.




I think that I am coming as way too serious about this kinds of things.
That is why I said a few post back that this a chit chat for me.

 

[runvardh]

Did anything in the threads you have created help you at all?

 

[Fluffywolf]

I think that I am coming as way too serious about this kinds of things.
That is why I said a few post back that this a chit chat for me.

Hmm, I find your posts quite intruiging and you not typically asocial at all or anything.

Besides, who in this world expects that everyone understands their point of view in every debate? (lolz, every non-NT? )

The whole process of debate is to develop yourself further. And in such debates sometimes views may seem erratic or even extremist. But it's usually clear when it is used to seek new pieces of information rather than asocial behaviour.

I enjoy this method of debating. Cutting points and pieces of information that stir up a debate from which you can pick key pieces of information into forming a final conclusion.

When it comes to life, the final conclusion is your point of view when you die. All the time leading up to that point is gathering info, brainstorming and healthy amounts of debating.

(I honestly don't know why many people in this thread miss that point. )

 

[Fluffywolf]

I think many NF's have a better time understanding NT's than the converse as they are naturally more people oriented, ie. they care enough to try to understand.

I wholeheartedly agree.

My NF friends go through great lengths to understand my point of view, and I love explaining it to them. They seem to harbour a lot of patience and understanding when it comes to other people.

And because of that they can really learn to understand us. Everyone else could too, but they just don't bother.

 

[Laurie]

Great! This thread should be about me.

Why? Because ......

I think I'm in some kind of forum love. Best post!

 

[Synarch]

I wholeheartedly agree.

My NF friends go through great lengths to understand my point of view, and I love explaining it to them. They seem to harbour a lot of patience and understanding when it comes to other people.

And because of that they can really learn to understand us. Everyone else could too, but they just don't bother.

Well, I think sometimes we NT's need to acknowledge the value of the NF viewpoint.

 

[heart]

Hmm, I find your posts quite intruiging and you not typically asocial at all or anything.

Besides, who in this world expects that everyone understands their point of view in every debate? (lolz, every non-NT? )

The whole process of debate is to develop yourself further. And in such debates sometimes views may seem erratic or even extremist. But it's usually clear when it is used to seek new pieces of information rather than asocial behaviour.

I enjoy this method of debating. Cutting points and pieces of information that stir up a debate from which you can pick key pieces of information into forming a final conclusion.

When it comes to life, the final conclusion is your point of view when you die. All the time leading up to that point is gathering info, brainstorming and healthy amounts of debating.

(I honestly don't know why many people in this thread miss that point. )

I don't think it was missed at all. People gave their views and thoughts. Except that some of the NT didn't like the way that some of the NF communicated their side. They wanted to dictate the way that some of the NF communicated. It is like saying "Give me an answer but only deliever it in the way I want to hear it."

Trinity gave a really good and plausible explaination of this effect some where on the board, but I forget where.