It seems like every ISTP that I know seems to hate to talk. I mean, it seems like words are just seemed like an unnecessary evil to them. In fact, I find that when I ask them questions, they almost look at me with a look of scorn on their face because I am forcing them to communicate. Why are ISTP's like this? Also, please don't say, "It's because they're introverts" because I find that many introverts aren't like this (the INFJ and the INFP) especially.
I have had the same experience with ISTP's in particular as well.
Their Ti just doesn't want to waste time on the unnecessary.
Also, if you are asking them questions, they can feel some sort of "pressure" to rebel or resist against it. The thinking being, that the person posing the question, is trying to take an authoritative stance...They don't like to be controlled. (This is from what I've gathered.)
Non-talkers drive me INSANE! Granted, I am a very talkative person and I love to talk so I am bias, but still. How else are you supposed to communicate with someone? Osmosis of thought? This has always confounded me. I'll see people who are good friends, but they talk very little to each other (from what I can observe). It's like... how do you know about the person? How does your friendship build? Is it magic? Where's the voodoo doll?
Kidding aside, this really does confound me. I actually want to know from non-talkers. How do you build relationships? Though I should point out, there is a difference between someone who is a quiet listener, and someone who just doesn't talk much. A quiet listener, prefers to listen and let the other person speak. But, they offer up feedback and will continue the discussion (I have a few friends like this, I do get strained sometimes but that's my own problem). They will share what they think, just not readily and it needs to be prompted. Someone who doesn't talk is someone who does have thoughts, but just doesn't feel compelled or want to speak them, or they just don't care. I just... I don't get it at all.
(I think this is independent of type, but I do agree this seems to be somewhat common amongst ISTP's).
I can get frustrated with lack of talking in a relationship too. I have a hard time building relationships in the form of "osmosis" that you've mentioned.
I dated an ISTP a couple years ago. It was not easy to communicate. There was no substance to the relationship imo, but we dated for 2 YEARS! I still feel like I barely know him.
There is only so long that I can use Se to bond.
Bonding over experiences is not how I bond
But it seems to be the way Se does.
I had a similar experience with my ex ISFP as well though.
(I am attracted to introverted men by default. :/ )
This stereotype makes me reconsider my boyfriend's type because he can talk a lot when he feels like it. Loves arguing and bullshitting and telling stories. I'm way less talkative, especially in social situations.
My ex ISTP would talk everyone's ear off in
public. He had very well developed Se and Fe for others. When it came time to go home and be alone with me though...not very many words. Even when his friends would come over, I think he would talk to them more.
I asked him why, and he said that he was just being social. That he wasn't revealing himself a whole lot to others. Just making sports banter and such.
And my ISFJ friend's bf is ISTP, and he will retell stories all the time. It's just some form of Se+Fe, trying to keep things upbeat (or something)...is what I've gathered.
So I think they can still seem very outgoing in their convos when a social circle comes into play.
Good God. A person can say nothing without offending someone now-a-days.
It took me a long time to figure out why my gay friends didn't like that word being used that way. (They could not convince me with one solid reason not to be able to say what I wanted...)
But the thing is that it's being used to replace the word "weak" if you boil it down.
And why is being weak so bad? It's because then you would be perceived to take on qualities of females. It's like a double whammy. It's attacking gay people cause they're feminine (and god forbid. Nothing's worse than a guy being feminine.
(obviously joking)) And it's attacking females cause they're seen as the weakest gender.
That's just the thought process behind it...don't know if it matters.
Anyways I think "lame" is a much better fit.
If it's any consolation, I'm gay and don't give a shit
.
It's the context that matters. The vast majority of the time it's not meant to harm anyone.
See above.
