Why are millennials so miserable?

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

Several things about that particular clip.

I agree with the thing about upbringing. I was brought up that way. They make it sound like folks born in the 80s or 90s are these spoiled lil thangs that don't understand real life and get hurt feelings too much. But guess what? ALL of my mother's parenting books were written in the late 70s and early 80s, right after a couple of hippie decades of research about how to discipline children--these books all emphasize a child-centered approach to parenting. Building self-esteem is presented as utmost; being hard on kids is bad for their self-esteem; parents are cautioned not to discipline them (bad for their self-esteem) but rather incentivize everything. I hardly think my mother was alone in reading these books.

I find that my parents took a very lackadaisical approach with me--my mother was determined to let me "be myself" and "find my creativity". She let me get away with things I never would have stood for as a parent, honestly. So many goddamn compliments that I actually stopped taking her seriously. Like she told me as a 9 year old that my drawing was "superb". Come on mom--it was a crappy kid drawing. I didn't believe her, but still, it builds the illusion you're magically gifted--no one said, "Hey that's pretty good for your age--would you like some books to help hone your skills? One day you could be a great artist if you work hard!" They made it sound like I was already there! I kept running into the same thing in college, only to discover that actually they all lied to me, and I'm average, my education was to a very low standard, and I haven't worked to build anything because my calculations were based on information I was getting then.

My parents never offered any advice as to what I should actually do with my life, leaving me to flounder around for 20 years. They never offered any negative feedback on my personality because it might "hurt my feelings"...then slammed the door in my face for being that way (hell, I couldn't even figure out my enneagram type, so unaware was I of my negative tendencies). My parents were afraid I'd worry if they talked about adult stuff with me (kids shouldn't worry, because it impacts their self-esteem)--so I was totally ignorant. I didn't know the News even existed until 9/11 happened. I still don't know how to manage adult stuff, do bills, and now I'm in trouble with the IRS because no one explained taxes to me.

I mean, I blame them a lot, but I think I'm also part of a larger phenomenon. I don't know why no one else sees that all these so-called problems with millennials are a direct result of the parenting philosophies developed in the 1970s. I personally get tired, as a member of this generation, being told how inadequate I am, because I'm more than well-aware of the ways that our elders were inadequate toward us.

So yeah. I actually do agree with the assessment that we have no discipline and an unrealistic understanding of how the world works--BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THEY TRAINED US TO BE. Not everyone with this age bracket is like this, but, again, I think my upbringing is indicative of a larger phenomenon.

I think the PTSD thing is overblown. I mean as someone who's endured multiple ACTUAL traumas, getting traumatized about a shitty candidate being voted into power...is fucking pathetic. I do NOT identify with this. It makes a mockery of people--like those who've served in wars--who endure personality disorders and debilitating symptoms (like flashbacks), who struggle to get along in society, or who deal with anxiety or other physiological responses to the trauma. Thank God I don't know anyone claiming to have PTSD because Trump was elected--I'd have no sympathy if I did...but I suspect it's just something used to make millennials look pathetic again.

If people want to know why we're miserable, check the economy and chances for advancement, the housing crisis, the leadership, the crumbling infrastructure, piss-poor education, student debt, credit debt, the national debt, climate change. Lie to someone for 20 years, keep em in a bubble, then dump em in the middle of multiple crises created by the same people who put em in a bubble. Blame them for it. Tell me how happy YOU would be about this.

Last. This guy looks like he's younger than me? I guess they're doing it to appeal to young people and win more recruits that way...Young America's Foundation is basically a conservative think tank for youth and it's going to have "proselytizing" qualities. I consider it patronising--all of it, the concept, the age of the guy making the speech, pseudo-humorous admissions that he only "half" blames us--so I stopped watching it.

 

[anticlimatic]

I've read article after article trying to wrap my head around what the hell happened. Closure is hard to come by, and at this point I'm just waiting for something resembling an apology to working-class and middle-class America, particularly millennials and Gen X-ers, who are too young to get on Social Security or Medicare. Basically, those of us who actually need to earn a living and would like to have careers - but can't.

Articles on the important things do have a way of coming up short don't they? I think the most depressing realization I found in growing up was that the adults, the experts, the reporters, the people in charge- who were supposed to know what was going on and why it was going on, actually knew very little about anything; that life was a chasm of mystery with a thin veneer of knowledge floating on the surface. There were no 'grown ups' as I pictured them as a child- just a bunch of older children fumbling with their parents discarded and outdated toys.

I think every generation has unique challenges. Boomers catch a lot of flack for stealing the futures of millennials, but it's worth remembering that many boomers literally had their futures stolen by bullets in Vietnam. There's a point in life when you really have to focus on shaping yourself to suit it, rather than trying to shape it to suit you. I mean, case in point:

We are the warriors here, taking to the streets and writing to our elected officials (most of whom are sadly out of touch, red or blue). I just hope that when the day comes that we do get affordable healthcare and education, UBI, and clean air and water, Gen Z and Generation Alpha (my future kid?) will see what we've done and not take it for granted. We millennials need to stress to the younger generations that you cannot ever take it easy, or think that even the most fundamental necessities of life are going to continue to remain within your grasp - you need to actually organize, mobilize and demand these "rights." They could be yanked away again at a moment's notice at the whim of the elites.

What exactly are you 'warriors' trying to accomplish here that will improve your lives? Are you impaired by an illness you can't afford to treat that prevents you from succeeding in life? Are you dying of malaria from tainted drinking water and thus prevented from succeeding? What rights do you currently lack that would make everything better if you had them? Lets get you them. No need to go to war over it, that isn't going to help anyone with anything. REAL threats and REAL solutions have a way of being nonpolitical, and bipartisan. Everything else is just imaginary projection from the life chasm of mystery; boogymen and unicorns.

 

[rav3n]

Some of you sound like crochety old men, raging against kids running around on your lawns.

AUTHOR: Socrates (469–399 B.C.)
QUOTATION: The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.
ATTRIBUTION: Attributed to SOCRATES by Plato, according to William L. Patty and Louise S. Johnson, Personality and Adjustment, p. 277 (1953).

This passage was very popular in the 1960s and its essence was used by the Mayor of Amsterdam, Gijsbert van Hall, following a street demonstration in 1966, as reported by The New York Times, April 3, 1966, p. 16.

This use prompted Malcolm S. Forbes to write an editorial on youth.—Forbes, April 15, 1966, p. 11. In that same issue, under the heading “Side Lines,” pp. 5–6, is a summary of the efforts of researchers and scholars to confirm the wording of Socrates, or Plato, but without success. Evidently, the quotation is spurious.

195. Socrates (469-399 B.C.). Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations. 1989

 

[Virtual ghost]

[MENTION=4347]Virtual ghost[/MENTION], couldn't agree more with everything you said. I always enjoy reading your posts on here. Clearly the U.S.' best years are behind us. I like your analogy of riding into a tank battle when all you have is a horse.
Every civilization has it's 'golden age' and ours is most definitely over. Other countries have more clout, better educated citizens, etc. than the U.S. Sadly, denial is huge among the older generations here. They don't quite get it, and still think if we go back to doing things we did in the past, we'll get somewhere. God forbid you point out what another country is doing as a possible solution, then you're anti-American. I'm sick of the backwards mentality and many others my age are too.

I said what I said not because I want to be a smartass but because to me it is obvious that I would be in serious problems in the case that I have cards of average gen Y American. Having a state finance my education and healthcare are huge help. Without that I am not even sure what I would do. I would need to sell some/most of the "family silver" to get a degree since I am not even sure that I would get a loan. Perhaps I would need some job on the side to pay healthcare and few other things. For example the state is giving me student discount for developed public transportation network, so for 150$ I can use the transportation how much I want for a each academic year. Plus after I graduate I would need to start working or open a business in a competitive environment in which it would be questionable if I would make it. Plus I can't really grow since I would probably have some debts to pay first. I don't know, there are just too many "if-s" in the equation for my liking. However even with current cards I will have challenges in the modern globalized world. Therefore if my cards were weaker I would be in serious problems.


On the other hand you can say all of this costs .... yeah it costs but America wastes that money on huge overdeveloped prison system (that has to clean up this mess), tax cuts for the rich (the money they will probably spend abroad since that is more profitable) .... and few other stupid things that don't benefit anyone really. So in the end it is all a question of political will.

 

[hurl3y4456]

Some of you sound like crochety old men, raging against kids running around on your lawns.


195. Socrates (469-399 B.C.). Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations. 1989

Well, P = e^(N*t) where E denotes total knowledge, t denotes time, and P = Degree of Pessimism....Hence, the old saying " Ignorance is Bliss." Yet somehow, we tend to resort back to kids after we reach a certain set-point (age)....So, does N represent a negative quadratic equation?....

 

[Population: 1]

placeholder?

Incorrect term. It’s been remedied.

Unlike PD’s inability to leave an actual comment!

 

[The Cat]

Well, P = e^(N*t) where E denotes total knowledge, t denotes time, and P = Degree of Pessimism....Hence, the old saying " Ignorance is Bliss." Yet somehow, we tend to resort back to kids after we reach a certain set-point (age)....So, does N represent a negative quadratic equation?....

You are the Mathiest human I've ever run across. I tip my hat to you.

 

[SurrealisticSlumbers]

There's a point in life when you really have to focus on shaping yourself to suit it, rather than trying to shape it to suit you.

Sorry, no. We do not live under a totalitarian dictatorship in the U.S. It's a free country, even though we might not feel so free these days.
As to the rest of what you've said, I can only assume you're a) not an American citizen, or b) are blinded to the truth and still sound asleep.
"I mean, case in point: What exactly are you 'warriors' trying to accomplish here that will improve your lives? Are you impaired by an illness you can't afford to treat that prevents you from succeeding in life? Are you dying of malaria from tainted drinking water and thus prevented from succeeding? What rights do you currently lack that would make everything better if you had them?"
Dude. I literally spelled it out for you, and many others here have as well. It's not that complicated. I actually don't think you started this thread to listen to millennials or see other points of view. Maybe you don't want to see the truth. That's okay. Still doesn't change the fact that my generation's going to change the world. Wakey wakey!

 

[anticlimatic]

Sorry, no. We do not live under a totalitarian dictatorship in the U.S. It's a free country, even though we might not feel so free these days.
As to the rest of what you've said, I can only assume you're a) not an American citizen, or b) are blinded to the truth and still sound asleep.
"I mean, case in point: What exactly are you 'warriors' trying to accomplish here that will improve your lives? Are you impaired by an illness you can't afford to treat that prevents you from succeeding in life? Are you dying of malaria from tainted drinking water and thus prevented from succeeding? What rights do you currently lack that would make everything better if you had them?"
Dude. I literally spelled it out for you, and many others here have as well. It's not that complicated. I actually don't think you started this thread to listen to millennials or see other points of view. Maybe you don't want to see the truth. That's okay. Still doesn't change the fact that my generation's going to change the world. Wakey wakey!

Slow down there, Commander. (I know you didn't just tell me to 'get woke')

I read you loud and clear. You listed a number of genuine problems back there that I agreed with. Things like:

it is a herculean task to find work, any work

Granted this is hyperbolic considering the unemployment rate is currently 3.7%, but it is difficult to find jobs that can help pay for things since inflation has skyrocketed while wages have not.

Then of course there is the complete racket of:

tuition money

The overblown and teeming bubble of:

homeownership

The recent upsurge in people:

chasing their drugs of choice

The other ridiculously overblown racket of extortionist insurance companies, particularly regarding:

affordable healthcare

These are all legit problems, not just for millennials, not just for leftists. My question- and it was an actual question, not a rhetorical one- is what is the plan here exactly, Lieutenant? I have heard some compelling ideas as to how to deal with these problems, but I'm always open to hearing new approaches- occupational hazard for me. Voting for upper ivy league class career politicians who lie about promising to give you want doesn't count- pretend that you have to come up with the solutions for them, in what meager freedom and control they have over the nation and world at large, or identify other more custom and personal solutions to the problem for at least yourself- and perhaps others by example.

Until then, this is not a solution:

 

[ceecee]

I think every generation has unique challenges. Boomers catch a lot of flack for stealing the futures of millennials, but it's worth remembering that many boomers literally had their futures stolen by bullets in Vietnam. There's a point in life when you really have to focus on shaping yourself to suit it, rather than trying to shape it to suit you. I mean, case in point:

Trust me, plenty of Boomers never went to Vietnam and never fought in a single war so saying even some of the generation had their futures stolen by bullets in Vietnam is a little dramatic. Incidentally there were and estimated death toll of 1,353,000, 58,220 U.S. military you do the math on who's futures were actually stolen.

But several Boomers use Vietnam as a crutch. Strangely, I have never seen veterans of any other war go to the lengths Vietnam veterans go to show that they served. It defines them - as if nothing they ever did afterwards matters at all. My father was not in Vietnam, was never drafted. But he acts as if he did, that he was impacted the same as a Vietnam veteran and that, because he comes from that generation, he should have the same understanding as a Vietnam veteran should have. If that argument made any sense, my generation would be defined by Desert Storm/Kuwait and I've met exactly one veteran of that conflict that defines himself by it.

Iraq and Afghanistan is in it's 17th year. Granted the death toll is lower than Vietnam due to advances in field surgery and the ability to get patients to care more quickly. But the reason they are there is virtually unchanged from Vietnam. I sent one kid to this "conflict" and I fortunately have him back in one piece, physically and mentally. But until the wealthy class fight in wars for his country as they once did, and until the US is invaded and Congress, not a president actually approves military conflict, nah.

 

[hurl3y4456]

We have a high potential going forward, but it is necessary for all of us to shape our lifestyle and mindset (to an extent) to yield the best outcome. Only then can we shape the world effectively for future generations, which implies that they will experience less negative consequences in regards to shaping their own identities.....and the cycle repeats.

I've also considered the following: *Baby-boomers adapted to a different generation and developed their identity at a time in which technological advance was much less sophisticated. ** The ability to excel at a particular task is highly dependent on the degree of exposure as your identity was developing. Since baby-boomers currently represent a high proportion of upper management and jobs are structured according to a top-down approach, then it follows that they heavily influence any change in structure. By (* and **), there will exist some resistance to changing the structure (not all cases) to align with current development because doing so would imply that we must conform to more sophisticated methods. Therefore, the degree of change should trend upward at a faster rate once millennial's replace baby-boomers.

 

[anticlimatic]

Trust me, plenty of Boomers never went to Vietnam and never fought in a single war so saying even some of the generation had their futures stolen by bullets in Vietnam is a little dramatic. Incidentally there were and estimated death toll of 1,353,000, 58,220 U.S. military you do the math on who suffered more.

But several Boomers use Vietnam as a crutch. Strangely, I have never seen veterans of any other war go to the lengths Vietnam veterans go to show that they served. It defines them - as if nothing they ever did afterwards matters at all. My father was not in Vietnam, was never drafted. But he acts as if he did, that he was impacted the same as a Vietnam veteran and that, because he comes from that generation, he should have the same understanding as a Vietnam veteran should have. If that argument made any sense, my generation would be defined by Desert Storm/Kuwait and I've met exactly one veteran of that conflict that defines himself by it.

Iraq and Afghanistan is in it's 17th year. Granted the death toll is lower than Vietnam due to advances in field surgery and the ability to get patients to care more quickly. But the reason they are there is virtually unchanged from Vietnam. I sent one kid to this "conflict" and I fortunately have him back in one piece, physically and mentally. But until the wealthy class fight in wars for his country as they once did, and until the US is invaded and Congress, not a president actually approves military conflict, nah.

I said -some-, not all boomers, but their 'millennial years' were no picnic was my point- and I'd rather have our problems now than theirs then.

Have you watched the Ken Burns doc on Vietnam that (semi) recently dropped on Netflix?
There's also a line from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas of the Vietnam era that reminds me of this:

“There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning. And that, I think, was the handle - that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting - on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark - that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run, but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.”

 

[wildmoon]

Overall I'm not entirely convinced that millenials are more miserable than other generations. But I agree completely with this:

The extremes of society are more readily displayed today relative to the past, hence, our standards for our success increase.

Studies (I don't remember which ones) have confirmed that living in societies where we can see both the very rich and very poor increases our natural competitive drive. So yes, this.

 

[Lark]

I think the future looks like there is going to be all these amazing things, a cure for cancer, personalised medicine, regenerative medicine, lifespans which make death something you choose pretty much rather than this inevitability but the bummer is that its all going to be the preserve of some kind of elite which owes its status to accident of birth rather than anything they ever actually accomplished in their lives.

As a result of that this elite will be likely to fuck everything up or piss it all away because they never appreciated it any how.

 

[anticlimatic]

I think the future looks like there is going to be all these amazing things, a cure for cancer, personalised medicine, regenerative medicine, lifespans which make death something you choose pretty much rather than this inevitability but the bummer is that its all going to be the preserve of some kind of elite which owes its status to accident of birth rather than anything they ever actually accomplished in their lives. As a result of that this elite will be likely to fuck everything up or piss it all away because they never appreciated it any how.

Even if it's the case that tomorrow is indeed worse than today, it's foolish to adopt that attitude preemptively- particularly since doing so all but guarantees it on the individual level, when it is in fact not guaranteed at all.

 

[The Cat]

I said -some-, not all boomers, but their 'millennial years' were no picnic was my point- and I'd rather have our problems now than theirs then.

Have you watched the Ken Burns doc on Vietnam that (semi) recently dropped on Netflix?
There's also a line from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas of the Vietnam era that reminds me of this:

“There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning. And that, I think, was the handle - that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting - on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark - that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run, but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.”

What are 'millennial years'?

 

[LucieCat]

The other ridiculously overblown racket of extortionist insurance companies,

While this is also a problem, I interpreted the comment about"chasing drug of choice" to pertain to drug abuse and addiction problems instead. Sadly, many people (of various demographic groups) have found drugs as a coping mechanism. You also have corrupt doctors who unethically and/or unnecessarily prescribe very addictive, heavy duty medication and networks of drug dealers. And our reaponse as a country seems more to be punishing the addicts instead of focusing on treating the addiction, the actual root of the problem and the disease. We also have mandatory sentencing laws, which also take the nuance out of issues.

 

[anticlimatic]

What are 'millennial years'?

Roughly speaking 'young adulthood' '20s' etc

 

[anticlimatic]

While this is also a problem, I interpreted the comment about"chasing drug of choice" to pertain to drug abuse and addiction problems instead. Sadly, many people (of various demographic groups) have found drugs as a coping mechanism. You also have corrupt doctors who unethically and/or unnecessarily prescribe very addictive, heavy duty medication and networks of drug dealers. And our reaponse as a country seems more to be punishing the addicts instead of focusing on treating the addiction, the actual root of the problem and the disease. We also have mandatory sentencing laws, which also take the nuance out of issues.

I agree. Drug abuse has spiked- whether it be traditional black market drugs like meth and heroin, or their over prescribed pharmacy approved counterparts like morphine and suboxone.

 

[Silhouette Du Soleil]

Are there any millennials here who do not fit the bill as he describes them (beginning around the 5:00 mark)? If so, in which way?

Yes, I can honestly say I would be one of those idiots if my life had taken a different turn. I dove into a religion and consequently matured dramatically and became far more aware of the world's condition and reasons for it. The only reason I am not married already is that my principles will not allow me to marry outside of my religion. I had a chance at marriage back when I was 24 but he was Baptist. The problem lies in that for every 1 single man there are 7 women. And looking for a spiritually strong man that is still single and not younger than me is quite a task. That said, I did recently meet someone who has potential. So I shall see how this goes.
I am still living with my parents but that is because of mutual financial support and their illnesses. I am trying to convince them to move to an income assisted 55+ community.
My ideal is living in a stable, simple home with my hubby and our cats.