I honestly didn't expect so much crazy behavior on this thread. I particular observe the women reacting to this defensively and personally.
Wow, the reactions to BMS's admission in this thread are fascinating to me. Did you all miss the part where he said he wouldn't hurt anyone intentionally? Do all of you really never do or say anything that will benefit you? Is this the 'Saints R Us' forum?
I think I'll ask you to marry me for this statement here Lol.
Okay, here we go...
No, I did not miss the part where he said he wouldn't hurt anyone intentionally. Nor did I miss the words "values" and "ethics" in his description.
However, I also seemed to catch the phrases "but she wants it, so it's cool", "I have the person in the palm of my hands", "I would never advise someone I cared about to do the wrong thing", "the advice I give is never harmful", etc., etc.
For one, by definition you cannot "manipulate" someone into doing something they want.
Secondly, am I the only one concerned with someone who thinks that they know what is right for another person and manipulates that person to carry out related decisions?! Even if he does have the incredible gift of knowing what's right for others (an admission that I find both scary and narcissistic), where are the ethics in that?
I didn't miss the part where you took something so vague to make a point on a thread so personal. And to be honest, I don't think you should be judging people on how they conduct their personal lives. There was nothing in his statement that could have been taken personal, and yet you got defensive about his choice of words.
And yes, I believe you are the only one concerned with people trying to figure out what's best for those closest to them. I'd hate to see your friends.. I have asked his opinion on several situations, and had genuinely awesome and helpful advice each and every time. Showing people a different, and very obvious light when they're facing the wrong way is never a bad thing. I'm shocked you would even attempt to say otherwise to try and back up your defensive stance.
No one can fault you for being honest.
I believe you did that the instant you made such a quick and judgmental post.
I'm saddened that you think anyone 'won' anything from that crazy situation.
So, would I be correct in thinking that you believe one wrong turn deserves another?
I'm one to believe that usually human nature supercedes that logic. I'm also one to believe no one should be crucified for being natural and honest.
"Poetic justice" will never get you anywhere; I despise the idea, as it only ever seems like the correct solution in the heat of the moment when you are not thinking about the matter from an objective point of view. Blahblahblah.
You're taking what I said way too personally. I have nothing against you; after all, why would I? I don't even know you. The only part of what I said that was specifically directed at you was the last sentence of my first paragraph; the rest is really just a general statement.
I also like this part here, where you proceed to read that he strongly values poetic justice, and you start to criticize it anyways. Then you expect him not to take things personally, after a very personal and heated debate. Instead of apologizing for your mayhap cross words, you simply justify them by sayign he's being personal. Blaming someone's sensitivity isn't the right way to go about things.
It's a shame that threads where INFJs are honest about how they interact with people always turn out like this.
I think there is ALOT that INFJs can teach us about human nature and personal interaction. Instead of judging, it would have been nice if we could have delved into the topic even deeper. For example, this stood out:
What is the nature of these 'pings'? What is the meaning you search for? How do you feel and what do you do if you send a 'ping' out and get a completely unexpected response?
Anyway, thanks INFJs for your honesty!
Now we're actually getting somewhere. I think manipulation has a lot to do with observing human behavior and figuring out what people will respond to and what they will not. Sending out little tests to see how they're picked up is a big part of that, and I do find myself 'fishing' for what I should say and how to handle a situation when I'm level headed enough for it.
I think INFJs have an awesome ability to not only care and empathize with people, but to take a detached perspective on things (unless it comes to themselves
) while balancing all of that on the quick-witted scale of experience. It makes for a very good manipulation set-up, though admittably I have never seen the INFJ I know to do anything even selfish in nature. If it benefits him, it does. If it does not though, he's still just as happy to be honest and open about what he evaluates. A pleasent surprise like a win-win isn't common, but when it occurs all the better is the attitude I've seen.