Just am catching up on this thread now...
[MENTION=14749]BalanceFind[/MENTION]
I don't find it odd that I ended up with an ESTJ. I think a lot of INFJs are very drawn to extroverted Te users as they have strengths in areas where we do not. They often appear confident, are leadery types, do well professionally, can express themselves fairly concisely right in the moment and seem certain of themselves. Unfortunately, I've noticed that over time, those very differences often become sources of difficulty in understanding and communicating with each other well. I think as I've gotten older I've realized that it works better to shore up my weaknesses, rather than looking for someone who is opposite from me.
ESTJs often are portrayed as uptight, unwilling to consider other points of view, and very conservative. In fact, I've found that ESTJs often are funny, enjoy travelling, are very adventurous in food and music, are hospitable, and are good at drawing other people in to try those things as well. While they may prefer to be in sync with the norms of the social group around them, that could include almost any type of social group. That does not always mean conservative. In my case, I found that my ESTJ helped me to be more adventurous (I'm a creature of habit and hesitant about trying something when I don't know what to expect), was fun to be around socially, was very intelligent and resourceful, complemented my big picture views with practical details that I didn't naturally think of, and made me see the advantages of approaching people first rather than waiting for them to come to me.
I think he was one of the first people that made me consider S types in a different light. I think before I had a tendancy to seem them as a lite version of their N counterpart, which sounds awful and I realize now was really inaccurate as well. My dad is an ISTJ, and my mum is an ENFJ, so I'm not sure if it was partially that the dynamic was familiar too on some level...
While I do agree with you that ENTJs and ESTJs are different, they do share extroversion and Te. You would be surprised at the number of INFJs on here who have exes of either type.
Odd was probably not the best word, interesting would have been a better and more accurate choice.
I have had friends of all 16 types, and I have dated even briefly many different types, so I have some familiarity.
I have a difficult time spotting a female Estj type vs Estp or Entp. I have had many Estj friends over the years, all of them male. Some are more or less conservative than others or more or less developed than others etc...wide range, but some basic levels of conservative thought are consistent with most if not all of them.
I would have no hesitation seeing the Entj or Estp with Infj more common.
My dad was an Entp(heavy Estp in that) 8w7, but as I have mentioned before, deeply narcisstic 3. That can happen sometimes with the oldest child, which he was, or an only child in my experiences. My mom was a salt of the earth Isfj 9.
I should say that until a few years ago, I knew nothing about personality type, the enneagram, etc...until I just sat down and started reading on my own. I know of no one personally who has studied or studies this stuff.
It's great that now I can more quickly recognize and see types to help me with basics. Unfortunately none of the people I have dated have ever been interested in that stuff.
I would never say never for myself in terms of not dating certain types. Off of the top of my head, in no order or numbers, isfj,istj,infj,estp,esfp,entp,enfp,isfp,istp,intp,infp are all types I have dated at some point in my life. I have never dated an estj,entj,esfj,enfj,intj types. I have had male and female friends of almost all of the types at some point or another.
I am definitely more naturally compatible to some than others. To me, being, healthy in your type is most important, balanced in your daily life, and have some balances in your type...example...if you are an "f" type, it helps to not be so extreme that you have no "t" ability etc..
I have dated more infj, infp, isfj, esfp, enfp, estp types than probably the others. I prefer "f" types who are capable in the "t" area. My infj was great, positive, which is big for me, caring of everyone, which was big for me, something of a do gooder activist, which was great, anti violence of any kind, which was great for me. That was a big indicator of her being infj and not infp for me. We communicated well for a long time until things went bad.