Absolutely. I recognised that was your intention. I was merely observing how you have skewed the information, how that affects me and the fact that this is a blind-spot area for INFJs.
As for your question, I'm not sure. I don't think so. I think both Fi and Fe users can be susceptible to this but perhaps in different ways. I think peer pressure and shunning can have just as much effect on Fi user's psyche as a Fe user (and I speak from experience). Also Fi users can be very people pleasing too. They can fall into the trap of trying to please every individual, while losing sight of an utilitarian "greater good for all", for example.
Interesting. So you see it as forcing them to commit to an argument when they're being evasive?
This is a good explanation of what it looks like from the outside. I can see how that would be frustrating.
The problem is for us NPs, is that we do it all by feel - especially with the NFPs because there is an added subjective element. NPs are only intuiting a hazy internal image of the end goal (ie. the idea in its complete form) and it only get's clearer as they talk it out and/or bounce ideas. They have to refine and narrow it all down bit by bit. The thing is we're not always being evasive; we're just trying to work things through and figure out our own thoughts as we go along. And the truth is, if you force an answer, it's probably going to be meaningless and possibly not at all pretty. You'll probably either get a random stab in the dark answer (like blindly choosing between doors 1, 2, 3 or 4), or you'll get reply that's relatively devoid of reason (like a silly flippant remark) and possibly purely emotionally driven (like an angry accusatory backlash). Hell, I'm like this if I people try to force me to choose what I want to drink.
I do agree, though, that this can be employed in very self-serving terms.
You do have to be careful about how you ask these questions though. They have to be open-ended and not, "choose option 1 or 2". You also have to give them some time to work through the idea before they can be expected to totally commit to it. It is valuable for you to openly offer your own views (if they are already organised and ready to go) and explain the way you see things, because that will allow you the room to speak your mind and it will help the Ne-user to refine their own views. Ne users like open questions and sharing of ideas because it helps built up a collection of Si images and to decide which image feels right to them.
Is Ni-user a person who locked himself/herself in a strong fortress/box whereas a Ne-user is like a person who cannot force himself/herself to stabilize to one form?
Yes, this seems accurate. The Ni user will be more decisive in action and will understand less factors yet more fully, but is more limited in scope and adaptability. The Ne user is relatively unlimited in scope and adaptability but is less decisive in action and will understand more factors yet less well. We both need time to even out the flaws in our Perception.
Is a trusted Ni fortress a safehaven where Ne user can stop shifting and reveal his/her true/core self?
That Ni fortress can be incredibly appealing, definitely. NPs love the fluidity of life and the world around them, but it can be quite overwhelming even for us. There can be great comfort and pleasure in resting on the knowledge and understanding of a NJ. However, it requires great faith and trust in that NJ, for us to let go of the reins, and that shouldn't be misused.
Is a trusted Ne user is window/scrying pool for a Ni-user to safely observe/view alternate dimensions?
In theory, yes. You could probably answer that better.
Yes. Ne is slow to figure out Perspectives like Fe is slow to figure out Judgements. I think Fi users need to be fair on Fe in this regard, just as Ni users must be fair on Ne. But OTOH, both Ni and Fi need some criteria to start with. It can be painstaking, but we have to be a little patient and supportive of the other's needs.
Really? Maybe you're right. In terms of intimacy, I would say I have a volume knob, not a on/off switch. So you're saying with a INFJ, either you're in or you're out?
The bolded part immediately brought to my mind covert tactics like passive aggressiveness, emotional manipulation (playing on people's triggers?) etc...?
I suppose it could potentially, although I meant it in neutral terms. It's like what I said earlier about things having a neutral quality until they are applied. It could be applied through using persuasive arguments, or it could be applied through outright manipulation.
So, disarm = not trigger/push their buttons? Is this what [MENTION=5999]PeaceBaby[/MENTION] meant with sidestepping people?
No, it doesn't mean push their buttons, although I'm sure we all do that on occasion. However, that's what I consider the most underhand dirty tactic to use it for. I'm often aware of people's greatest flaws, their most vulnerable weaknesses and the things that matter most to them in the world, but I don't usually let that on. Going after those things is way below the belt; like using one's powers for evil. So it's very rare that I go for the jugular. And when I do, I almost always despise myself afterwards. Admittedly, I do on occasion exploit minor aspects of personal knowledge but usually for small things and it's less cruel (well, less evil anyway
). Still, it's not really right.
Ideally, Fi interaction style is about supporting people's individual needs.
I'm not sure which post you're referring to by PB. Could you quote it for me to it?
Yeah, I guess. But I'm not entirely sure it's fair to be irritated by that. If it's a genuine blindspot it can't be helped. I suppose part of the problem is that it can be hard to let go of the inclination to assume they can do it but are just unwilling to.
I do think that Fe will have a way around this - or at least there will be a fail-safe in INFJ thinking that will help get around the blindspot. I'm less knowledgeable in that field, but I know that there are fail-safes for INFP blindspots, so I assume there will be an equivalent for INFJs. That's why in part, people are here discussing it, I guess. With more complete awareness of the issue it may kick fail-safes into action the next times things go downhill, and the whole thing can be avoided or overcome.
Hmm. What do you mean? Can you give an example?
I guess it all somehow boils down to individuality versus collectivity and singularity versus multiplicity...
Definitely. And we need a little of all of these in our lives.
I know you guys probably have to do it to a degree, because reacting on the fly isn't your forte but still...
