[INFJ] When an INFJ doorslams you / cuts you out of their life / breaks off contact

[Sniffles]

What happens if INFJs don't doorslam...

Indeed..............

 

[Sniffles]

Since Ne vs Ni seems to be a big part of this discussion, I find it best to deal with Ne people only when I'm in a good mood. If I'm not, than I don't deal with them. Seems to reduce the likelihood of doorslam considerably. Try it out for yourselves folks.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

Yeah this thread has got me in the mood for a good ol'fashion doorslam!

I'm holding out for a Doctor Who Tardis doorslam gif.

[edit to add:]

What happens if INFJs don't doorslam...

Doorslams save lives.

 

[Sniffles]

I'm holding out for a Doctor Who Tardis doorslam gif.

We need an official INFJ doorslam smiley!

 

[Z Buck McFate]

We should have an official INFJ doorslam smiley!

And it should have sound attached, something like Carl Orff.....played on kazoo!

 

[Sniffles]

And it should have sound attached, something like Carl Orff.....played on kazoo!

I like your thinking.

We also need to petition Hallmark to make an appropriate card for such occasions. "Smile, you've just been doorslamed!"

 

[1487610420]

We need an official INFJ doorslam smiley!

that was requested before, here , but since the link appears to be dead, here it goes

EDIT: although, the real life version might look more like this:

 

[NPcomplete]

I'm holding out for a Doctor Who Tardis doorslam gif.

It's a gentle doorslam though.

 

[Ginkgo]

[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4w4ci7M24U"]it reminds me of this[/YOUTUBE]

THIEF!

 

[LEGERdeMAIN]

I'm confused

 

[Ginkgo]

I'm confused

It's gunna be okay. *pets*

 

[1487610420]

THIEF!

 

[Ginkgo]

Don't worry. You have been forgiven.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

From having caught up with the thread:

I really don't get why you seem to assume that ALL doorslams are because INFJs somehow "don't want to hear the truth about themselves" (ie. your take on why it could be demoralizing.) Do you really think there are no occasions where the INFJ has analyzed themselves, the other person and the situation in-depth, and has realised that the other person is treating them badly and it can't go on?

Preach it, sister! Really, this is exactly what’s so condescending about these lectures. Exactly. It’s as short-sighted and ridiculous as someone saying “all doorslams are reasonable and called for.” It belittles the experience of the other person.

[MENTION=7842]Z Buck McFate[/MENTION]
you may be interested in reading your own damn post to know what my theory is based on.

I’m sorry, I don’t see how this negates anything I’ve said. I’m starting to suspect there a serious language disparity going on here. You may have a point and I’m not seeing it…..but I’m not seeing it.

What’s interesting is that a lot of what I said in that post comes from dealing with an INFJ who is one of the very few people I’ve ever had to doorslam myself, because her ‘blind spots’ and unwillingness to consider any other perspective than her own bordered on delusional and became so overwhelming I couldn’t deal with her anymore. She wouldn’t listen to reason. There’s no reasoning with crazy, and when someone is causing a lot of distress- and they won’t stop because they don’t even believe they’re really causing distress- there’s really nothing left to do about it. In fact, I’m inclined to think staying friends is sort of enabling the bad behavior.

(And maybe something to take away from this^ is that keeping in contact doesn’t make blind spots go away- it takes a reasonable attitude to make blind spots go away, so I doorslam where there’s no reasoning left.)

2. a car mechanic understands shit you don't -, a rational argument is something you can understand on your own. get the difference? have confidence in your own damn intelect and address the idea instead of where it comes from.

A rational argument, in and of itself, could not possibly support or refute what you’ve posted about doorslams- it takes understanding and familiarity with doorslams (what the consequences for doing and not doing it are for both sides) to either support or refute theories about doorslams. If you have a faulty notion of what causes a person to do it, then how can you make effective arguments about why it should never happen?

This is all beside the fact that the mechanic analogy was to illustrate how it didn’t seem to me like I was using ad hominems, so I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make (again- language disparity may be a problem).

3. you may want to read the OP fourth paragraph of this thread in order to understand why people are posting their own doorslamming expeirence with INFJs.

You may have a point with this.

 

[Z Buck McFate]

We also need to petition Hallmark to make an appropriate card for such occasions. "Smile, you've just been doorslamed!"

Yes we do. And we know just what to do if they don't answer our request. (HINT: it involves a door.)

It's a gentle doorslam though.

AWESOME! Ha-ha.

 

[Society]

because her ‘blind spots’ and unwillingness to consider any other perspective than her own bordered on delusional and became so overwhelming I couldn’t deal with her anymore. She wouldn’t listen to reason.

where is that phenomena familiar from... o, right:

there's exactly one thing i am assuming or 'projecting' in the doorslamming stories - that you decided to block off communication so you can not listen or hear the other side once its done. otherwise i don't consider it a doorslam.

can you understand the argument now?

 

[Z Buck McFate]

So do are you supposing here that keeping in contact will assure the person will eventually lose their blind spot? Because like I said, I doorslammed the friend because- after continuing to stay friends for several years after it started- it finally became clear that it was never going to get better, and that it only continued to get worse. It really seemed to me like maintaining contact was only enabling the crazy. Staying in contact with someone doesn't mean communication will improve. I cut off communication once it was clear that the downward spiral would only continue to get worse.

 

[Sniffles]

I cut off communication once it was clear that the downward spiral would only continue to get worse.

I often have the image of being tied to a heavy rock and continously sinking out in the middle of the ocean. I can continue to sink further or I can break free and reach the surface and fresh air. Often when a doorslam is in serious consideration, that's the question on my mind.

 

[Sniffles]

where is that phenomena familiar from... o, right:


can you understand the argument now?

Forgive my late intrusion into this dispute, but what exactly is your point here?

 

[Sniffles]

And now for something completely different, ran into this quite randomly:

1. slammin' doors

A term me and my pal Rich came up with in psychology for one reason or another. It basically just means something is good.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=slammin' doors

We INFJs are into doing good are we not?