Samvega
Buddhist Misanthrope
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2007
- Messages
- 1,073
- MBTI Type
- ENTP
- Enneagram
- 7w8
"What's the difference between a boy and a man?"
People will change you every day without knowing they've done it. My
ex went out on a date with a guy and when I asked how it went she said
"he separated the boys from the men". I tried to find out what that
meant to her, she didn't do much clearing up of the whole thing.
For her it was a statement, done and gone, for me, it was
something that I had to give much thought. I know for a fact I didn't
wanna be a man yet, I thought, I'm not ready for that shit. After all
my thinking on this I've concluded some things that will set them apart.
Freud said that one doesn't become a man until his father dies. That's
sad but for many I think it's true, it just doesn't account for a world
where a father doesn't play the roll he should. It doesn't account for
much but could be argued that with a father in place you will never
shine, you will always be in the shadow.
I saw somebody else say "a boy becomes a man when he becomes aware of
his responsibilities, when he becomes mature, when his eyes don't only
have power to see but have a vision also, when he can distinguish
between what is right and what is more right, when he learns to deal
with his emotions and knows which one to suppress and which one to live
with happily."
I would agree with much of that, I came up with many of those thoughts
on my own. I did however like this most:
A boy looks good with his shirt off
A man looks good because of the way he looks at you
A boy will smile during the good times
A man will laugh during the bad
A boy goes to work because he has to
A man works because he can
A boy buys a plasma screen television
A man accumulates a library
A boy will hug you in the kitchen
A man will hold your hand anywhere you're together
A boy knows how to load the washing machine
A man knows what doesn't go in the dryer
A boy can read the grocery list you have written
A man will shop it with you, put it away, and cook anything on it
A boy will talk to you about his lousy day
A man will ask you about yours, and listen
A boy will read a to do list
A man knows what has to be done
A boy will buy you flowers
A man will plant them with you
A boy will tell you what you want to hear
A man will tell you what he has to say
A boy will share a thought
A man will share his dreams
A boy will tell you he feels good when he is with you
A man will tell you how he feels when he can't be at your side
A boy will share intimate moments with you
A man....will share his life
I think that hits pretty spot on although only measures a man from the
standpoint of a relationship. So here is what I think.
A man has been humbled, has felt loss, has felt pain and faced it, a
man will step up to the plate and do what needs to be done, he will
make the hard choices and live with them. A man will be respected not
feared, a mans children will look up to him and a man won't be afraid
to let them see him cry. A boy will do well in life and have a good
spirit but after hitting bottom only a man will do better and still
have that spirit. A man will fail and learn, a boy will fail and be
broken. A boy will know how to turn on a woman's body, a man will know
how to turn on her mind. A boy will sleep with a woman the first
chance he gets, a man will wait until it's right. A man has no shame,
plays no game and can be totally content with something to eat and the
love of a woman. A man needs nothing to be ok, a boy needs everything
to cover up what he doesn't have inside. A man will do what it takes,
when it's needed, the way it has to be done, a man not only
understands that sometimes there is a choice between what you want and
what you can have but he can also be totally content with that choice.
A man has nothing to prove and nothing to hide. A man understands that
he will be loved by some and hated by others, he doesn't make his
choices based on that alone. A man expects what he can't plan for
and plans for it. A man feels the pain of others that can't be seen
and fixes it without being asked, without telling anybody and without
trying to get credit.
Am I a man? I don't know, I drew a line in the sand of what I thought a
man was, I didn't say where I stood.
People will change you every day without knowing they've done it. My
ex went out on a date with a guy and when I asked how it went she said
"he separated the boys from the men". I tried to find out what that
meant to her, she didn't do much clearing up of the whole thing.
For her it was a statement, done and gone, for me, it was
something that I had to give much thought. I know for a fact I didn't
wanna be a man yet, I thought, I'm not ready for that shit. After all
my thinking on this I've concluded some things that will set them apart.
Freud said that one doesn't become a man until his father dies. That's
sad but for many I think it's true, it just doesn't account for a world
where a father doesn't play the roll he should. It doesn't account for
much but could be argued that with a father in place you will never
shine, you will always be in the shadow.
I saw somebody else say "a boy becomes a man when he becomes aware of
his responsibilities, when he becomes mature, when his eyes don't only
have power to see but have a vision also, when he can distinguish
between what is right and what is more right, when he learns to deal
with his emotions and knows which one to suppress and which one to live
with happily."
I would agree with much of that, I came up with many of those thoughts
on my own. I did however like this most:
A boy looks good with his shirt off
A man looks good because of the way he looks at you
A boy will smile during the good times
A man will laugh during the bad
A boy goes to work because he has to
A man works because he can
A boy buys a plasma screen television
A man accumulates a library
A boy will hug you in the kitchen
A man will hold your hand anywhere you're together
A boy knows how to load the washing machine
A man knows what doesn't go in the dryer
A boy can read the grocery list you have written
A man will shop it with you, put it away, and cook anything on it
A boy will talk to you about his lousy day
A man will ask you about yours, and listen
A boy will read a to do list
A man knows what has to be done
A boy will buy you flowers
A man will plant them with you
A boy will tell you what you want to hear
A man will tell you what he has to say
A boy will share a thought
A man will share his dreams
A boy will tell you he feels good when he is with you
A man will tell you how he feels when he can't be at your side
A boy will share intimate moments with you
A man....will share his life
I think that hits pretty spot on although only measures a man from the
standpoint of a relationship. So here is what I think.
A man has been humbled, has felt loss, has felt pain and faced it, a
man will step up to the plate and do what needs to be done, he will
make the hard choices and live with them. A man will be respected not
feared, a mans children will look up to him and a man won't be afraid
to let them see him cry. A boy will do well in life and have a good
spirit but after hitting bottom only a man will do better and still
have that spirit. A man will fail and learn, a boy will fail and be
broken. A boy will know how to turn on a woman's body, a man will know
how to turn on her mind. A boy will sleep with a woman the first
chance he gets, a man will wait until it's right. A man has no shame,
plays no game and can be totally content with something to eat and the
love of a woman. A man needs nothing to be ok, a boy needs everything
to cover up what he doesn't have inside. A man will do what it takes,
when it's needed, the way it has to be done, a man not only
understands that sometimes there is a choice between what you want and
what you can have but he can also be totally content with that choice.
A man has nothing to prove and nothing to hide. A man understands that
he will be loved by some and hated by others, he doesn't make his
choices based on that alone. A man expects what he can't plan for
and plans for it. A man feels the pain of others that can't be seen
and fixes it without being asked, without telling anybody and without
trying to get credit.
Am I a man? I don't know, I drew a line in the sand of what I thought a
man was, I didn't say where I stood.
