what's a "real woman"?

[FemMecha]

I never look at other woman and ask this question. I don't think I've looked at a person and thought "that's not a real woman" or "that's not a real man". I have a clearer sense of the stereotypes that emasculate men, but there are just as many processes where women can experience something akin to being emasculated. The stereotypical physicality of men that defines them culturally tends to be strength and for women it can be their sensuality. My point is that this is only based on media images and stereotypes and not reality btw.

I'm an atypical woman inside. I have not tended to have social power in the ways that women gain it among each other - by becoming the archetypal cheerleader/model and using clique's and emotional bullying to establish varying levels of social power. I grew up outside of those processes and do not think in those terms. My internal assumptions are far off from those cultural norms. I've experienced female bullying and so have experienced the female version of being emasculated, but because I'm not invested in that process, it doesn't bother me that much except for feeling disappointed in humanity.

I don't have children and so have missed out on that fundamental aspect of womanhood, but I don't have grief about it. For me personally, I feel primarily like a real human being when I create something unique and meaningful and when I alleviate some pain in the world. The part that feels feminine is when I enjoy collecting/wearing artsy, unique clothes and jewelry. The gender aspect of my identity feels more like the frosting than the cake. If I can add some beauty/meaning to the world and alleviate some of the pain, then I feel like I've been a real human being.

 

[onemoretime]

what is "a real woman"?

A woman who exists in the real universe, silly

is this an attainable standard?

Yup. You're doing it right now.

does this perception make it more difficult to be a woman?

I'd hope not, life is full of wonderful opportunities

does it cause problems?

Problems are inevitable.

Silliness aside, we have a bit of an unhealthy obsession with Platonic forms (I prefer the non-Platonic forms myself). Everyone chases after the ideal of "woman" when really, that's just a fantasy attached to a symbol based on desires. With regards to being maternal - do you like kids? Do you like being around them and stimulating their interest in the world? That's all it takes to be maternal, really - the whole Stepford wife/doting mother is for some people, but it doesn't get to the core of what's required.

 

[kyuuei]

My response is no different here. A real woman is someone who acts like a real adult and happens to be associated with the female gender... whatever cultural or social context that may be flavored as..

 

[Virtual ghost]

This is a real woman

This isn't a real woman

I think it is that simple in the end.

 

[gromit]

I think probably someone who is thoughtful and caring, who is brave and stands up for what is right, who doesn't put too much stock in what others think of her, who understands her own value and is realistic about her own limitations. She works to improve her weaknesses.

I am thinking of woman vs girl.

 

[highlander]

The idea of it is stupid IMO same as the real man thing. People are different. People have their preferences in what traits they admire and what they don't. Nothing more needs to be said. If you want to have a definition on what your real man or woman is go ahead but realize it is a personal perspective and not particularly meaningful or important to anyone besides yourself.

 

[Cloudpatrol]

Being a "Woman" is a matter of age. And, being genuine and classy, is a matter of choice.

 

[the state i am in]

the path toward healthy femininity, to me, brings a sense of self-worth, leading with vulnerability, and being able to listen from a deeper place.

the specific way of embodying social roles in the world has as much to do with the context around them. for me, a healthy woman would be willing to appreciate vulnerability enough to be part of a healthy, nurturing team. to me, people should commit to themselves by trying to find the space needed to lead with their strengths when possible--while also appreciating that it is important to do work to meet our roles too. we have so much unprocessed anger and intense feelings of being unloved/unlovable in our world. and men are constrained by expectations too and not supported to work thru their feelings. as a generalization, being supportive in these ways, helping slow down and process emotions all the way down to need, and helping channel that into better ways of making something are highly prized. but there are many super feely understrategized dudes looking for someone to take the lead too. the only prescription is to know when to embrace and when to let go of probabilities and other numbers games. and meanwhile, there are women with the same needs who don't get those things from the men they are with either, which is also a failing and impoverishment we are too quick to accept.

for me personally, attractive womanhood involves emotional sensitivity, creativity, and a deep sense of what is good in that "beautiful good" kind of way. each person is looking for their own appreciation mixed with their own counterbalance. i also like energy, social ease, a bit of follow thru, and some pragmatism.

i mean, bubble-gum vs edgy, directive vs empathetic, playful vs purposeful, there are so many different ways of balancing leadership and building a healthy, enjoyable presence together.

 

[uumlau]

You know that a woman is real if and only if turning her 90 degrees to the left makes her imaginary.

 

[Litsnob]

If you are an adult and identify as female and are a human being then you are a real woman.