you don't strike me as wing 3 at all, but since I've been struggling with my own enneatype for so long, I'm aware my opinion doesn't carry much weight. however, as an example, here is a pretty widely agreed upon 4w3. you'll notice she's more choleric, fiery and blood and guts than a 4w5.
All well and good. However:
1. I come from a very intellectual family. Therefore, that is what was admired and encouraged. So the question is, am I 'five-ish' because that's my true nature or cause that's how I was raised?
2. I did very well in school, academic scholarships to high school and college, honors student, etc. I just took an art class this last semester and got a 100%. (This actually bummed me out because there is no way anyone, aside from a master, deserves a 100% in art. It's kind of embarrassing. I, however, still mentioned my grade to people.)
3. I oscillate between extreme self-consciousness, self-hate, and self-confident bragging.
4. I will do something if there's a deadline and I know others will see it. Otherwise, I'm kind of inert. When I write, I imagine an audience (of intimates, not everyone) and their reactions. Sometimes my fear of not being great prevents me from doing things or having people see them. Example: I wrote a children's book five years ago and then stuck it in a box because I don't feel like it's the 'real' me and I feel like it's too esoteric and highbrow for it to be published, so what's the point? I have written two songs that I love (and have gotten good feedback on) but I'm also older and married and have kids so it's not like I have the appeal of younger musicians and I can't exactly tour so... it keeps me from doing it, even though I love playing and writing music more than anything.
5. I have always felt 'exempt'. A friend of mine and I had a joke that I was the aristocrat and she was the peasant. She did all the housework and I just sat there, oblivious. My #1 childhood fantasy (aside from being a great writer, musician, dancer, artist) was to be landed gentry, so I would never have to deal with stupid 'practical' concerns.
6. This man is my ultimate soulmate. (he's a 4w3 sx/sp) He writes everything that I feel, perfectly. I feel like he totally gets me and I totally get him. I am also extremely envious of his life (although not his love life, it seems messed up) and accomplishments. I feel like if I had had an older brother and father who were both musicians, as it was for him, my life might have been very different.
(I also name drop from time to time about my real-life connection to him and then feel terrible about it, like I'm betraying him, not to mention, how awful is it to name drop? I hate it when people do it. But it's a good story as well, so...)