what should I do?

[WobblyStilettos]

I've managed to put it off for ages, but now I'm starting to get the first little hints of having to choose between new friends and old coming up. Obv, in an ideal world, I would take my lil group of friends from my old school and integrate them into the larger group which (unless I'm very much mistaken) I will be able to join soon, if I want. Unfortunately, by and large my old friends are introverts and reasonably sensible, but the new people have brightly coloured hair and... let's just call them /less/ sensible. Also, I wouldn't be able to add anyone else into the new group until I'm an established member of it, ofc. Annnd I can't spend more time with one group than the other for much longer without pissing someone off, and I certainly can't spend half of my time with each cos both will think I don't like them. So... what the hell should I do? It's not a problem just yet but I have a feeling I should act sooner rather than later...

 

[INTJMom]

I know a girlfriend of my daughter's went through this. It is difficult; there's no doubt about that. My daughter and the other 2 girls in the circle were hurt by the one girl developing a new circle of friends, and eventually getting married, and slowly but surely seeing less and less of them.

My daughter's biggest complaint was not that she was spending less time with them, but more that she wasn't keeping her promises, or even answering her phone messages or texts! My daughter and the other 2 girls felt they were entitled to that much respect.

So whatever you do, don't make promises you can't keep. Don't promise to meet your friends for a movie and then not show up. Be forthcoming with the truth. Respond to their calls and texts. Keep them informed. They like you. They want to know how you're doing.

Just do the best you can. You're only human.

 

[defragmybrain]

I'm going through this also -
I'm realizing that the friends i currently have, most of them, are merely "good acquaintances" - i know their names and faces and we're nice to each other. But that isn't enough to make them _friends_ ... is it?
Being selective with my friends is becoming important. I want inspiring, genuine friends and true compatibility is hard to come by.
Still Searching.

 

[WobblyStilettos]

Thanks for the advice/support

And, defragmybrain, in my experience sometimes you can be searching for something so hard you don't realise it's right in front of you, if only you would take the effort you put into searching and used it to change the situation you're already in

 

[ZiL]

Sucks. I see a similar problem for myself on the horizon. I don't know how to solve it either, lol. I see you want to act sooner than later, but if I were in the situation I'd probably float around a little more to test my boundaries with each group...but that's just me, I never like to get around to making the final decision!

 

[King sns]

I would go with the half-and-half method...