[NT] what NTs look for in a potential mate

[peppermint13]

I'm sure this depends on lots of other circumstances beyond type (what doesn't , but would you say that what you're looking for in a potential mate is the same for short term vs long term (or casual vs serious, if you prefer)?

Do you think NTs are more inclined to only seek out potential mates that have long term/serious potential, ie not be interested in short term/casual relationships?

If someone doesn't quite match what you're looking for in a long term "potential mate", do they become...a short term option? A friend? An acquaintance? Forgotten?

 

[squibbles]

I would never consider being with someone if I knew it would be short term. I would only date someone if I thought that there could be a chance of marrying them. Anything else would be a waste of time to me.

Edit: Also, because I don't like exposing my emotions, I would consider a short term relationship to be no reason at all to bother making myself vulnerable. I would only do that if I knew it was worth it.

 

[murkrow]

Physical: Attractive

Emotional: Self awareness is important, I don't know what you really mean by emotional. I guess I have no emotional requirements.

Mental: Intelligent I guess. They need to be able to keep up with me but they certainly don't need to have had straight As. Imagination is more important than comprehension in my mate, I think.

 

[karenk]

I'm sure this depends on lots of other circumstances beyond type (what doesn't , but would you say that what you're looking for in a potential mate is the same for short term vs long term (or casual vs serious, if you prefer)?

Do you think NTs are more inclined to only seek out potential mates that have long term/serious potential, ie not be interested in short term/casual relationships?

If someone doesn't quite match what you're looking for in a long term "potential mate", do they become...a short term option? A friend? An acquaintance? Forgotten?

I always thought T types would have an easier time with casual relationships because they are able to avoid getting involved.

 

[01011010]

In order of importance:

A. Intelligence
B. Emotionally Demonstrative
C. Healthy (Mind and Body)
D. Without Major Prejudice

I don't bother with short term or casual. I don't need company that bad and it would be a serious waste of my time and energy.

 

[freebird]

First: no casual relationships at all... if I can't see myself marrying them then there's no point. This also means I need to know them fairly well before starting a relationship.

Physical: taller than me (preferably 6'-6'3") (gotta fit in his arms perfectly), "swimmer builds" are particularly attractive, deep eyes that smile and ponder in and of themselves, usually not real dark hair

Emotional: Steadfast, passionate, can ground me in reality, definitely in touch with his emotions and someone who can bring out mine, probably NF but you never know, I like someone who can be the center of attention/entertainer and also quiet/contemplative/soulful

Mentally: Sharp and insightful, doesn't have to be an A student but intelligence and a quick wit are important

 

[Snowey1210]

Physical: Umm.. To be honest it's not the first thing I look at. I do have a thing for Blue eyes, and Brunettes but I'm pretty flexible.

Emotional: I'd need someone who is quite outwardly emotional to make up for my deficiency in this regard. Self Confidence, and independence are two things I value highly so these would be characteristics I'd be looking for.

Mentally: Don't necesssarily have to have a high of intelligence, but being open minded would be pretty important.

 

[Shadowrose]

Physical.. Attractive, not very fond of extremes of body shape. Brown hair and Blue eyes, I'm fairly fond of but it isn't a gamebreaker.

Emotional.. I like people that are a little bit unstable. No idea why.

Mentally.. I like the crazy ones that can match me wit for wit, cut for cut. When it comes down to it, a curiosity is most important. Able to hold a conversation, also.

As far as long/short term.. Bleh. Relationships just kind of happen, truthfully. They last until I get sick of them or they realize I really -don't- treat them any different from my closest friends. At least, that's how it generally goes.

 

[edel weiss]

Physical - While I do have a propensity to be attracted towards athletic shapes, I don't actually care. If I like someone, I think they're attractive, as long as they're fairly healthy. Height doesn't matter.

Emotional - I'm not sure. I don't like sudden emotional outbursts of anger or sorrow. Especially if I think that they're not justified. I get annoyed with people who 'hate humanity' and moan about despair when their lives are actually quite fine. I also don't like clueless people who make highly judging remarks about others without thinking. I'd like someone who can express his emotions to me, since I'm not too good at that myself.

Mental - Without question, someone who's bright. Who likes making leaps of imagination and applies his intellect. Someone who doesn't find me 'crazy'. And definitely open minded.

And as for casual relationships, I don't know. If it happens, it happens. I wouldn't think about it too much.

 

[Jughead]

Physical: I usually end up liking the skinny men, but it doesn't really matter.

Emotional: Someone who doesn't expect me to "be there" emotionally for them, all the time. I have a hard time dealing with emotions, and sometimes don't take them into account at all while making decisions. I'm not really capable of appealing to people's emotional sides rather than their rational sides on a frequent basis.

Mental: Intelligence is key. Bonuses would be getting my often-weird sense of humour, not taking himself too seriously and a liking towards arguement / debate.

Casual relationships? Not worth the effort, IMO.

 

[Shadowrose]

Huh, I forgot about the height thing. I'm generally more attracted to shorter ladies.

 

[Uytuun]

Physical: all I need is attraction.

Emotional: not extremely emotional, please...but not extremely cold either.

Mental: please be mentally/intellectually challening. Pretty please.

 

[ZiL]

Physical: 6'0", dirty blonde hair, hazel eyes, waist measurements:...kidding. I have very subjective attractions - a good personality can make me warm up to a wide range of looks. In general though, I like dudes that are tall - 6'0"+

Emotional: More emotional intelligence and expressive nuance than me would be nice, but not to drama queen level.

Mental: Someone who can meet me on my preferred level of abstractions, but no gripey know-it-alls.

 

[runvardh]

*takes a look at a few ENTP responses* I'm trying to work on the rollercoaster... *sigh*

 

[Terian]

Physical: About a foot shorter than me (not hard to do- I'm 6'3"), thin (not anorexic, but weighing less than me), symmetrical face. Oh, and I like blondes.

Emotional: Emotionally mature, and capable of rationalization and self-sufficiency.

Mental: Able to keep up with me, and preferably just as intellectually curious.

 

[The Ü™]

Physical: 6'0", dirty blonde hair, hazel eyes, waist measurements:...kidding.

Wow, you've pretty much described me. (Seriously.)

 

[LadyJaye]

I would love to find a guy who's as curious about the world as I am, and would actually like to experience it. I've had an ENTJ guy tell me I was "too smart". ?!
I thought smart was a good thing, but I guess not. I had it explained to me that NT men don't like to have mates that could possibly be smarter than them. This makes no sense to me - if my boyfriend had a higher IQ than I did, I would be proud of him, not see it as a competition. So, I don't entirely believe NT men who say they want an intelligent woman. They want a woman who is reasonably smart without threats of Supreme Intelligence usurpation.

 

[SillySapienne]

I would love to find a guy who's as curious about the world as I am, and would actually like to experience it. I've had an ENTJ guy tell me I was "too smart". ?!
I thought smart was a good thing, but I guess not. I had it explained to me that NT men don't like to have mates that could possibly be smarter than them. This makes no sense to me - if my boyfriend had a higher IQ than I did, I would be proud of him, not see it as a competition. So, I don't entirely believe NT men who say they want an intelligent woman. They want a woman who is reasonably smart without threats of Supreme Intelligence usurpation.

My experience has been very similar to yours.

Oh my, an NF female who is smart, perhaps even smarter than an NT male?!?!?!

Sacrilegious!!!

:rolli:

 

[LadyJaye]

My experience has been very similar to yours.

Oh my, an NF female who is smart, perhaps even smarter than an NT male?!?!?!

Sacrilegious!!!

:rolli:

I hate to here that, because that means it's actually happening to other people, not just me. So did you get any explanations for the "you're too smart" line of reasoning? The ones I had to sit through were paltry at best.

 

[Algora J]

Physical: Tall and brooding, usually European

Emotional: Vulnerable only around me, where he lets me in on his deepest darkest secrets. To everyone else, a warm, personable guy who usually gets what he wants, works hard, plays harder.

Mental: Sharp and witty, usually good at verbal banter. Understands other people's psychologies, so knows when to let something go and let the other person win once in a while.