[MBTI General] What kind of XNFP are you?

[Rebe]

I see that there are a lot of variations of XNFPs and I am curious to see the similarities and differences of some specific traits and behaviors. Honestly, I feel a bit freakish...so...it'd be nice to know I am not the only one. So I will specify my post to social interaction and external environment. But you are all welcome to discuss whatever, especially contradictions or 'surprises' to your type profiles/functions. Also, I don't meet a lot or get to know a lot of XNFPs and I think it is important to get to know some and I like XNFPs. (Ah, this is very long.)

Social Interaction: I have a big mouth - I say things sometimes that I shouldn't. They are either too blunt, inappropriate or private. I say them while in a 'moment' and that moment is when I feel very comfortable, almost giddy and I find the other person non-threatening. I don't like having to watch what I say. There are times when I think very carefully on what to or not to say, but then there are times when I just talk without even using one second to think it thorough.

I can be very, very giddy and talkative and warm when I feel at ease and I find the other person in sync with me and just as open and warm. If I am asked to be a certain way, I will undoubtedly fail. I can't fake much. I don't like strict rules or going by other people's ideas/whatever. I know how to act socially acceptable because I have observed interactions closely. But when I let loose, sometimes I go overboard. And it's not that it's bad to go overboard because a lot of people do, it's that I notice I go over and then, I go back into my shell because I feel really awkward for being so 'exposed' and worried that what I say will come back to bite me.

This is why I go from one extreme of open-ness to one of extreme reservation. I expose too much and I don't feel safe doing that so I reserve a lot of my opinions, ideas, feelings to my tight group of friends usually.

If I know I am being judged even if not in a formal way, I clam up. I don't 'perform', I don't 'impress' for the sake of impression. I am very self-deprecating. Sometimes people take my humor as being too hard on myself, but I was sarcastic. If people tell me I am quiet, I clam right up. I don't need to prove them wrong and if I talk, it means I am trying to impress, which is very WTF to me.

I almost never take compliments well from strangers, usually it's surface-deep. It's weird to be complimented on something that I think is what everyone should be doing anyway (being a good person) or what I am doing with the minimum amount of effort (whatever it may be). I think XNTJs have the same problem. Why are you complimenting me for being me, and I am not even at my 100%? That's weird. Though sometimes, secretly, if it's from someone I trust, I like to be told when I am good at something naturally or from practice, physically or mentally or whatnot.

With some people, I just clam up and with others, I just become very outgoing and friendly. It's not random, I am sure it's based on my Fi-Ne data system. Sometimes I am one way when I should be the other to lessen awkwardness or tension, but I don't often force myself.

Overall, I am a friendly, considerate person who my friends regard as 'crazy/weird/funny/overly analytical'. Little children gravitate to me. I look bright-eyed and innocent, but I curse a lot and have plenty of dark, dark thoughts. I don't get angry often, but when I do, it's a big explosion, not a little prick. I tend to control myself to not go off on others for whatever reason because I feel that it accomplishes nothing, wastes my energy and it is not my responsibility to (try to) teach them how to be a decent person. I feel that if I start going off on people, I will go off on a lot of people and that's just not an efficient idea. I don't want to be one of those angry people who is easily upset or has a stick up their bum. I want to be upset when it will change something.

External environment: I am clumsy and kind of ditzy, well not ditzy but very, very distract-able. I don't lose things. I have a weird walk - I walk like I am high/drunk. Envision a lesser version of Johnny Depp in the Pirates movie. Hahaha; it's not that bad or noticable, but it has been commented on by my dear friends. If I am talking to you, I may forget to do whatever else. Afterwards, I may forget if I did the thing I was supposed to or not while talking to you, even if it's just half a minute later. I am damn awful with details and directions and maps. I need to write everything down. I am better at memorizing whatever you have told me if there is some kind of 'reason' to it. If I understand the 'detail', I will remember it better than if I am told to just remember a three-digit, random number. I remember the jist of everything from what I read in the NYTimes - 3 or 4 articles - but if you ask me how much a box of Newports cost, I have no freaking idea even though I have been selling them for two weeks.

Sometimes, a solution to a problem is extremely simple but it doesn't occur to me until days later when I could have resolved this problem from the very first day and prevented dumb mistakes. Here, I am talking about work. But then, I tell myself that I can't possibly keep everything in track and I am dealing with a lot and I can't possibly cover all bases. But when the solution does come to me, I kick myself because it is so simple and obvious.

I emphasize that my ability with details suck and I foresee it to be a problem with my future careers. I know I am really quite smart but that makes me seem dumb sometimes. Plus I just feel dumb because most people would have caught it but I seem to have this special ability to miss the obvious. I am not oblivious, I just can't 'intuit' and 'sense' at the same time, for lack of a better way to explain this.

 

[Malkavia]

I see that there are a lot of variations of XNFPs and I am curious to see the similarities and differences of some specific traits and behaviors. Honestly, I feel a bit freakish...so...it'd be nice to know I am not the only one. So I will specify my post to social interaction and external environment. But you are all welcome to discuss whatever, especially contradictions or 'surprises' to your type profiles/functions. Also, I don't meet a lot or get to know a lot of XNFPs and I think it is important to get to know some and I like XNFPs. (Ah, this is very long.)

Social Interaction: I have a big mouth - I say things sometimes that I shouldn't. They are either too blunt, inappropriate or private. I say them while in a 'moment' and that moment is when I feel very comfortable, almost giddy and I find the other person non-threatening. I don't like having to watch what I say. There are times when I think very carefully on what to or not to say, but then there are times when I just talk without even using one second to think it thorough.

Yes! I have a very big mouth. The things I usually say are too blunt, harsh and inappropriate. It can be bad because sometimes I will just say things that are considered "brutally honest" which makes people believe I dont like them. Which isn't true at all. The past year I've worked on it though and I have gotten a lot better. When I am around people for the first time I normally make myself be a little bit more reserved and think about the effects of something before I say it. When I am around my friends though I "let loose." Luckily I belong to a circle of friends that is constantly harsh, witty, and sarcastic.

I am, however, very good at keeping secrets which I heard something ENFPs are bad at.

I can be very, very giddy and talkative and warm when I feel at ease and I find the other person in sync with me and just as open and warm. If I am asked to be a certain way, I will undoubtedly fail. I can't fake much. I don't like strict rules or going by other people's ideas/whatever. I know how to act socially acceptable because I have observed interactions closely. But when I let loose, sometimes I go overboard. And it's not that it's bad to go overboard because a lot of people do, it's that I notice I go over and then, I go back into my shell because I feel really awkward for being so 'exposed' and worried that what I say will come back to bite me.

I am also very giddy, talkative and warm. My friends call me sassy (which is very weird to be called considered I'm a guy, but whatever).

I dont like strict rules or strict systems, but I work well with them if I have to. I dont know, I consider myself very flexible. In public I am able to act however I need to, however sometimes I dont let loose because I KNOW I will go overboard. I have had interactions where opening up and showing all that weird intense ENFPness turned out for the worse. This has made me feel awkward opening up sometimes as well.

This is why I go from one extreme of open-ness to one of extreme reservation. I expose too much and I don't feel safe doing that so I reserve a lot of my opinions, ideas, feelings to my tight group of friends usually.

This is what has happened to me too. To know my true feelings and opinions you need to be extremely close to me.

This is odd to me because I have people open up to me a lot. They tell me their problems, feelings, or concerns.

If I know I am being judged even if not in a formal way, I clam up. I don't 'perform', I don't 'impress' for the sake of impression. I am very self-deprecating. Sometimes people take my humor as being too hard on myself, but I was sarcastic. If people tell me I am quiet, I clam right up. I don't need to prove them wrong and if I talk, it means I am trying to impress, which is very WTF to me.

I dont really do this. I am categorizing, perceiving, judging, and looking for patterns in people constantly. I see this as judging, just not necessarily in a negative light. I look at them and try to figure them out. I can't really get mad if people do the same to me.

I almost never take compliments well from strangers, usually it's surface-deep. It's weird to be complimented on something that I think is what everyone should be doing anyway (being a good person) or what I am doing with the minimum amount of effort (whatever it may be). I think XNTJs have the same problem. Why are you complimenting me for being me, and I am not even at my 100%? That's weird. Though sometimes, secretly, if it's from someone I trust, I like to be told when I am good at something naturally or from practice, physically or mentally or whatnot.

Different on this too. I love compliments, sometimes more from strangers if they are "important" people. I eat it up and it gives me motivation to go even further. I am not dependent on them, but I do enjoy receiving them.

When a really close friends compliments me on something? I explode with happiness on the inside.

With some people, I just clam up and with others, I just become very outgoing and friendly. It's not random, I am sure it's based on my Fi-Ne data system. Sometimes I am one way when I should be the other to lessen awkwardness or tension, but I don't often force myself.

I am kind of the same way, however in an extroverted sense. I am very friendly and outgoing to everyone but it seems when I first meet people I know if they have potential to become close to me or not. It seems very extreme. Either I dont want anything to do with them, or I want them to be my best friend. Even if I dont want anything to do with them I will still normally initiate a friendship.

Overall, I am a friendly, considerate person who my friends regard as 'crazy/weird/funny/overly analytical'. Little children gravitate to me. I look bright-eyed and innocent, but I curse a lot and have plenty of dark, dark thoughts. I don't get angry often, but when I do, it's a big explosion, not a little prick. I tend to control myself to not go off on others for whatever reason because I feel that it accomplishes nothing, wastes my energy and it is not my responsibility to (try to) teach them how to be a decent person. I feel that if I start going off on people, I will go off on a lot of people and that's just not an efficient idea. I don't want to be one of those angry people who is easily upset or has a stick up their bum. I want to be upset when it will change something.

I am friendly and considerate. I am considered crazy/sassy/optimistic/creative. They do not consider me over analytical because I hide it so well.

I also control my anger because I am afraid it will cause permanent damage to my friendships (which is has the potential to).

I have a lot of dark thoughts as well that are never told to anyone.

External environment: I am clumsy and kind of ditzy, well not ditzy but very, very distract-able. I don't lose things. I have a weird walk - I walk like I am high/drunk. Envision a lesser version of Johnny Depp in the Pirates movie. Hahaha; it's not that bad or noticable, but it has been commented on by my dear friends. If I am talking to you, I may forget to do whatever else. Afterwards, I may forget if I did the thing I was supposed to or not while talking to you, even if it's just half a minute later. I am damn awful with details and directions and maps. I need to write everything down. I am better at memorizing whatever you have told me if there is some kind of 'reason' to it. If I understand the 'detail', I will remember it better than if I am told to just remember a three-digit, random number. I remember the jist of everything from what I read in the NYTimes - 3 or 4 articles - but if you ask me how much a box of Newports cost, I have no freaking idea even though I have been selling them for two weeks.

I am not clumsy or ditzy. I walk well, talk well, and consider myself pretty graceful for an ENFP guy. I am not THAT distractible. I CANNOT SPELL.

I read maps fine.

Sometimes, a solution to a problem is extremely simple but it doesn't occur to me until days later when I could have resolved this problem from the very first day and prevented dumb mistakes. Here, I am talking about work. But then, I tell myself that I can't possibly keep everything in track and I am dealing with a lot and I can't possibly cover all bases. But when the solution does come to me, I kick myself because it is so simple and obvious.

I find simple solutions very easily. Even if I found out I could have done something more easier at work I wouldnt be bothered because who cares? I'll just do it better next time. I go to work EVERY DAY.

I emphasize that my ability with details suck and I foresee it to be a problem with my future careers. I know I am really quite smart but that makes me seem dumb sometimes. Plus I just feel dumb because most people would have caught it but I seem to have this special ability to miss the obvious. I am not oblivious, I just can't 'intuit' and 'sense' at the same time, for lack of a better way to explain this.

I dont have this problem which has made me question my ENFPness before. If I can focus on something I can see all the details. My best friend (who is ENFJ) is WAY worse than me on this. He is completely oblivious to a lot of things.

------------------------------------------

Hmmm.... I feel like there are a few things I go "off the beaten path" of when it comes to being an XNFP.

I am always on time. I hate being late. Its annoys me so much. I also cant stand others that are late. What makes it worse is that I am working in the Middle East right now. Ever heard of "arab time?"

I ALWAYS keep up with my friendships. For instance this summer while I am in Jordan I have hand-written letters, sent post cards, sent emails, even sent birthday gifts for people's birthdays. Friendships are extremely important to me.

If I can focus I can notice details very well.

I am not clumsy or ungraceful.

However there are also things that I think fit the ENFP mold very well:

I love people, I am obsessed with them.

I love inspiring people to do great things. I want them to care about the world and I love making them want to make a difference.

I myself want to make a difference. I work with (and hopefully one day FOR) humanitarian organizations here in the Middle East.

I see the world connected as a beautiful, inexplainable, cosmic whole.

My personal values are very important to me. I work through them, not society's rules. '

I am extremely flexible and go with the flow. Things dont bother me.

I never read over posts and I have to go back and edit all my typos.

Feel free to ask any questions. I think it is cool youre comparing XNFPs.

 

[ilovelurking]

^ Your spelling looks great to me!

 

[alexshippee]

I also have a big mouth.
I always say "outrageous" things that seem normal at the time to me.
but I guess most people think I'm crazy because of it.
I often regret it after.

I get embarrassed really easily.
My face gets so red for almost no reason.
I tell people stories that I think are so cool and funny and then halfway through i realize that only I think it's a cool story..
I guess I'm just too passionate about
things nobody else cares about.

If I feel like I'm being left out of a group I stop talking and it's hard for me to start again. I'd feel like I was acting or something.
People tell me I'm dramatic. Especially my mother. She says I take things too personally and that most things are just in my head.

I don't usually tell people how I feel about them unless I get mad. and then I tell them off and apologize right after for being mean.

I'm not very motivated at school. This semester, I'm taking Ceramics. That's sure to help me get a job..

Also, Sometimes I get really emotional before work because I really don't want to be there. My mother told me that nobody wants to go to work but for me it's like, horrible.
I feel like I'm wasting my whole life there.
I'm 20 and I feel like an old maid.

anyway, I'm rambling.

 

[stringstheory]

Social Interaction: I have a big mouth - I say things sometimes that I shouldn't. They are either too blunt, inappropriate or private. I say them while in a 'moment' and that moment is when I feel very comfortable, almost giddy and I find the other person non-threatening. I don't like having to watch what I say. There are times when I think very carefully on what to or not to say, but then there are times when I just talk without even using one second to think it thorough.

I'm the complete opposite, especially when giving advice. I spend a lot of time thinking, sometimes missing details of what I'm being told, but I still tend to catch the larger picture. Sometimes when in a social situation I'll make a joke that will interrupt someone or that's a little inappropriate (or unfunny), but that's about it. Otherwise I'm very careful about hurting someones feelings, sometimes to the point of keeping my mouth shut because I'm afraid of confrontation.

I can be very, very giddy and talkative and warm when I feel at ease and I find the other person in sync with me and just as open and warm. If I am asked to be a certain way, I will undoubtedly fail. I can't fake much. I don't like strict rules or going by other people's ideas/whatever. I know how to act socially acceptable because I have observed interactions closely. But when I let loose, sometimes I go overboard. And it's not that it's bad to go overboard because a lot of people do, it's that I notice I go over and then, I go back into my shell because I feel really awkward for being so 'exposed' and worried that what I say will come back to bite me.

Same; I'm actually not naturally in tune to what is socially acceptable, especially in a situation where I am with people I'm not comfortable with or don't know well. Also, when i'm drunk, I tend to ignore what is socially acceptable, however in this case I'm usually with people I know well and who understand me, so it doesn't end up awkward.

This is why I go from one extreme of open-ness to one of extreme reservation. I expose too much and I don't feel safe doing that so I reserve a lot of my opinions, ideas, feelings to my tight group of friends usually.

When it comes to giving my opinion in an informal setting, though, I am never reserved. I don't mind revealing more "private" details about myself because I just don't care. I will express my opinion wherever and whenever, and usually very passionately if it's something about which I care a lot for. Sometimes people mistake this passion for agitation or anger, but really I just enjoy debate and deep conversation and I'm being really enthusiastic about it. This probably goes back to my social awkwardness.

If I know I am being judged even if not in a formal way, I clam up. I don't 'perform', I don't 'impress' for the sake of impression. I am very self-deprecating. Sometimes people take my humor as being too hard on myself, but I was sarcastic. If people tell me I am quiet, I clam right up. I don't need to prove them wrong and if I talk, it means I am trying to impress, which is very WTF to me.

This happens to me a lot in class or in a formal setting. I second guess my thoughts and opinions, even though past experiences have taught me I usually have a lot to contribute to the discussion. I don't necessarily communicate verbally very well unless I have notes or an outline of things I want to talk about, and speaking in public often makes me really nervous. When this happens I also clam up.

I almost never take compliments well from strangers, usually it's surface-deep. It's weird to be complimented on something that I think is what everyone should be doing anyway (being a good person) or what I am doing with the minimum amount of effort (whatever it may be). I think XNTJs have the same problem. Why are you complimenting me for being me, and I am not even at my 100%? That's weird. Though sometimes, secretly, if it's from someone I trust, I like to be told when I am good at something naturally or from practice, physically or mentally or whatnot.

I'm sort of attention whore in this way; I love compliments. I need a lot of reassurance, no matter who it's from, so getting compliments makes me feel I get a big kick out of being "unconventional" so I will say that I make it a point to let everyone know that because, usually, people find it interesting and intriguing. I like knowing that I'm interesting and intriguing to people.

With some people, I just clam up and with others, I just become very outgoing and friendly. It's not random, I am sure it's based on my Fi-Ne data system. Sometimes I am one way when I should be the other to lessen awkwardness or tension, but I don't often force myself.

Overall, I am a friendly, considerate person who my friends regard as 'crazy/weird/funny/overly analytical'. Little children gravitate to me. I look bright-eyed and innocent, but I curse a lot and have plenty of dark, dark thoughts. I don't get angry often, but when I do, it's a big explosion, not a little prick. I tend to control myself to not go off on others for whatever reason because I feel that it accomplishes nothing, wastes my energy and it is not my responsibility to (try to) teach them how to be a decent person. I feel that if I start going off on people, I will go off on a lot of people and that's just not an efficient idea. I don't want to be one of those angry people who is easily upset or has a stick up their bum. I want to be upset when it will change something.

This sounds very similar to me.

External environment: I am clumsy and kind of ditzy, well not ditzy but very, very distract-able. I don't lose things. I have a weird walk - I walk like I am high/drunk. Envision a lesser version of Johnny Depp in the Pirates movie. Hahaha; it's not that bad or noticable, but it has been commented on by my dear friends. If I am talking to you, I may forget to do whatever else. Afterwards, I may forget if I did the thing I was supposed to or not while talking to you, even if it's just half a minute later. I am damn awful with details and directions and maps. I need to write everything down. I am better at memorizing whatever you have told me if there is some kind of 'reason' to it. If I understand the 'detail', I will remember it better than if I am told to just remember a three-digit, random number. I remember the jist of everything from what I read in the NYTimes - 3 or 4 articles - but if you ask me how much a box of Newports cost, I have no freaking idea even though I have been selling them for two weeks.

I wouldn't say I'm ditzy, but I am forgetful and I'm REALLY clumsy...both with my words and my actions. I don't have the best concept of my body in space so I find that I have a hard time navigating around things and have a hard time "knowing" where to put my hands. Especially when socializing.

Sometimes, a solution to a problem is extremely simple but it doesn't occur to me until days later when I could have resolved this problem from the very first day and prevented dumb mistakes. Here, I am talking about work. But then, I tell myself that I can't possibly keep everything in track and I am dealing with a lot and I can't possibly cover all bases. But when the solution does come to me, I kick myself because it is so simple and obvious.

Same; I think for me this comes from being a "big picture" person, when problem solving usually requires a lot of attention to detail, which I'm not very good at.

 

[musicnerd93]

lol. Well, we all must be true INFP's because I'm the exact same way. I've been told I have an acid tongue and can be quite brutal in my opinions. I always thought that that was just because I was Italian. But, yes, I'm very good at keeping secrets...but, that's mostly because I usually forget them anyway.

I make fun of myself all the time. Even if I feel I'm good at something I'll make fun of my ability. I'm definantly eccentric, and everyone who is close to me knows it. In fact, non-eccentric people are often scared away when they get to know me and see just how strange I can be.

I, too, can be very giddy, in fact, I'm almost never serious. I hate that stereotype that all INFP's are always serious. Not true. Also the "sweet" stereotype drives me a little bonkers too. I mean, yes, I do tend to be a little more polite and helpful than most people, but I'm actually really quite arrogant. That's one thing that always makes me question my type.

People say that I'm easy to talk to and good at cheering people up and giving advice. If I have friends with me when meeting new people, I tend to be a little more outgoing and sometimes uninhibited. But, if you throw me into a room full of people I've never met, without a friend, I'm practically mute. I don't react to compliments well, either. I mean, I love getting compliments, but when I get one I don't know what to do with it. If a friend gives me a compliment that's different, but if a complete stranger says "Oh I love your shirt!" or something, I'm just sort of "Oh...Thank you!"

I'm usually awkwardly shy when getting to know someone, and will rarely look them in the eye because it just feels weird. However, when I meet other NF type people, I find that I sort of warm up to them right away without any awkward "getting to know you" time. Which is nice.

When I'm angry, you better steer clear of me! I shout and scream and slam doors and the whole nine yards. My sense of humor, I would say is rather twisted, and maybe even dark. Sometimes I say and do things purely just for shock value. I love children, but they seem rather scared of me. The only children that gravitate towards me are the ones that I'm related to, my little cousins and such.

"Going off" on people isn't really my thing. I'm not very confrontational. If somebody is picking on a friend, I don't usually stand up and shout at them to leave my friend alone, but I comfort my friend and tell them that the person who did it was just jealous or whatever...

I'm extremely distractable as well. My friends always laugh at me because everytime I see a squirrel, I can be in the middle of a sentence, shout "Squirrel!" and then continue on with what I was saying before. In fact, my favorite instance is when my friend, Chris, another NF, and I were in the car. I was venting my frustrations about some friends that I thought had done me wrong. "They're just doing it because they're...they're..." I was struggling to find a word to come up with, when I see some geese with a baby gosling at the side of the road, I hollered "GEESE!"

I consider myself very sentimental and romantic. I find it hard to get rid of things because they hold a certain "value" to them. I sort of consider myself a "flower child", I consider myself liberal, although my view on liberal is different. Because I just hate government of all types. Government just hurts more than it helps, in my opinion.

I'm very attracted to hippie counterculture and always thought it would be interesting to join some sort of spiritual Middle Eastern cult.

I love animals. I do consder myself an animal rights activist...the only problem is that I love my animals both ways. On my lap and on my plate. I would never eat a cat, dog, hamster or horse though. That would just be wrong. I love birdwatching and can tell different birds apart just from hearing their chirps.

My friends and family are always telling me I'm an ingenious writer and artist. But, I, in my view, think I'm just average. And aside from improving my artistic and writing skill, I don't really have any ambition.

I like to help people. If someone is upset I like to give them hugs, which doesn't sit well with my ESFJ friend who just wants to be left alone when she's upset. Haha. But, i still do it anyway.

I don't consider myself normal at all, in any sense of the word. And if somebody calls me strange, eccentric, far out or kooky, I definantly take it as a compliment.

 

[stringstheory]

I love animals. I do consder myself an animal rights activist...the only problem is that I love my animals both ways. On my lap and on my plate. I would never eat a cat, dog, hamster or horse though. That would just be wrong. I love birdwatching and can tell different birds apart just from hearing their chirps.

I don't see this as a problem necessarily; my diet for optimum health consists mostly of animals and animal products. I don't see anything wrong with slaughtering (god i hate that word) animals so that we can eat, but I do see a problem with the methods in which they are bred/raised/slaughtered. Life is precious to me and whether an animals knows it or not, it is being sacrificed so that we may live. That deserves respect. But I don't see that as being problematic, except maybe in that it's hard to reconcile because it can sometimes be hard to live in line with my own values.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I think ENFPs are great & I have yet to know one well & not like them on some level, but I don't relate that much to them. Actually, of all the NFs, I relate the least to them.
So, I am an INFP kind of NFP, which seems distinctly different from an ENFP kind.

I am mostly a quiet, outwardly reserved person. If I am speaking one-on-one with someone I feel comfortable with on a topic I have something to say about, then I can be animated and bordering on passionate in expression. This tends to seem intense & overwhelm people if they are just a casual acquaintance. I generally go through life very guarded with most people. Part of it is shyness, but some of it is the fact that I am comfortable with less interaction & conversation than most people.
I've worked at jobs for a considerable length of time without anyone knowing much of anything about my personal life. They seem to imagine I don't exist outside of work . After about a year on one job, I started talking about something & an ExFP co-worker and he exclaimed, "She talks!".

I am not blunt on purpose, but I am something of a Fe-tard & don't always use the finesse required. I've inadvertently offended clients by getting to the point too quickly, because schmoozing seems like a waste of time to me.

More than being too blunt at times, when I speak verbally it can come off "warble warble mumbo jumbo blaaaah" because I need time to order my thoughts, and I often do not get that. When I do, people will say I am articulate, so that's comforting.

Oh, and I will sometimes say things that seem very personal to others (which will leave them uncomfortable or create a confidante effect where they feel close to me), because to me they are just facts and information, and that doesn't register as personal to me. Personal to me are feelings, beliefs, dreams, values, etc.

I definitely relate to using self-deprecation & "half-truth" jokes about my life/feelings, and it has dawned on me that people see INFPs who use that kind of humor as whiny - I guess the dry delivery does not help. I also have a slightly sardonic side that reads as negative, so I keep that under wraps unless I know my company well.

I can also be extremely critical. Flaws are always apparent to me quickly. I can immediately see where improvement could be made to make something more ideal, and that tends to breed discontentment. I'm working on keeping perspective so as to be more positive...

My family has said I was born stubborn & knowing exactly what I think, and I am still that way, despite seeming easy-going on the surface to strangers & acquaintances. I actually have a strong personality that is not apparent at first to many.

I've always been very "influential" with my friends & even at work, almost something of a leader. That probably does not sound INFP to people, but I think there is a quiet, passive, persuasive way of leading an INFP may fall into without even realizing it, or even other people realizing it. I also lead by example and by sparking other people's imagination. As a child, my friends played MY made-up games. In HS & college, the group projects were based on MY ideas. I also find people adapting their speech & aesthetic preferences to something closer to mine when they spend a lot of time around me.

My family constantly compares me to my INTP uncle, and usually they don't mean it as a compliment (despite the fact he's a smart, nice person). We're both know-it-alls, bookish & brainy, a bit selfish & stubborn, bad at keeping in touch, and reserved with strangers.

I manage to be really affected by atmosphere & sensitive to aesthetics while oblivious at the same time. I have a good eye for color and space, but I will miss things that other people see readily (ie. I'll walk right past something & not see it). I'm also clumsy & walk into poles & trip over stuff all the time, yet I'm great at yoga.

To offset that description, I still find myself in many situations where people think I am sweet. Anyone who picks up on the fact that I am timid seems to not be offended by my demeanor. I'm also pretty caring once someone gets to know me, but it's in an emotionally supportive way - I'm not one to undertake tasks for people like my ISFJ mom. I draw strangers (& weirdos...) with emotional problems quite often, and I have to be wary of friends/romantic interests who have latched onto me for the main purpose of playing therapist.

Oh, and I'm actually really responsible if you don't count my tendency to be late & have a messy apartment . I never flake on people & often pull through when something extra is asked for. On jobs, I tend to be a worker whose value increases over time, even though I tend to make bad first impressions on job interviews due to my timidity, warble warble speech & trouble talking myself up.

Is this long enough? I started this thinking I'd have trouble saying anything....

 

[demimondaine]

i could have written the OP! wow!
i think the only point of difference is i can be okay with details sometimes, but at the expense of the big picture..

 

[Aleksei]

Let's see... I have strongly misanthropic tendencies, and not much love for humanity as a whole, although I do love most people as individuals and I'm very sociable. I get along with pretty much everybody. I often enjoy debate, but the confrontational nature of it kind of drains me over time, so I sort of ebb and flow between arguing for the hell of it, and going along to get along.

I love being around friends, I love showing off and I love attention (I have zero stage fright, and I'll always be the first to do an oral presentation for example, provided I have it done), but I'm not really good at social networking. I'm kind of apprehensive about approaching new people, I prefer them to approach me.

I'm very arrogant, and I have an admittedly somewhat over-inflated sense of my own abilities. This has bit me in the ass more times than I care to count.

I have an interest in rather nerdy subjects, I'm very analytical and I spend a lot of time doing Ne + Te analysis on different ideas to see how they work, how they could work better and how they could be different. I'd almost say I'm ENTP, except I'm generally not interested at all in how things work or how they're constituted, but rather that they work and how they can be made to work. In general I'm the guy with a vision, rather than the inventor.

I'm not very prone to being emotionally impulsive and I have a rather stoic worldview, but I am rather touchy-feely and very affectionate. I love PDA and I love cute cuddly animals. I love cats and dogs alike, and I don't get the rivalry that exists between cat people and dog people.

It takes me some effort to try to schmooze people and usually I come off as blunt, but I'm very good-natured, I have a kind of zany charm and always have a smile on my face, and I tend to get along with almost everybody. I am, however, every bit as much of an aggressive Te ogre when I engage in confrontational debates IRL as I am when I do here.

I'm very, very, very lazy, and I'm quite messy for this reason. Organization comes relatively easy for me when I have to do it, but I don't pick up after myself unless I have to. I do generally clean the rest of the house so I don't feel useless, but my own room is generally a disaster.

I'm somewhat irresponsible as well. I often slack off on homework and other obligations, and then come up with clever ideas to get myself out of trouble for it. Then I usually revel in my own Ne-brilliance at figuring out how to get out of trouble. I also tend to purposefully not prepare oral presentations or speeches beforehand, because I love improvising.

 

[musicnerd93]

I don't see this as a problem necessarily; my diet for optimum health consists mostly of animals and animal products. I don't see anything wrong with slaughtering (god i hate that word) animals so that we can eat, but I do see a problem with the methods in which they are bred/raised/slaughtered. Life is precious to me and whether an animals knows it or not, it is being sacrificed so that we may live. That deserves respect. But I don't see that as being problematic, except maybe in that it's hard to reconcile because it can sometimes be hard to live in line with my own values.

Yeah, exactly! I think hunting, you know, killing animals just for fun, is awful! But, if they are being killed for a cause, to help people out and give them the nutrients they need, it should be perfectly acceptable. But, other than that, killing animals just for thrill is just wrong and nasty, in my view anyway.

 

[stringstheory]

Let's see... I have strongly misanthropic tendencies, and not much love for humanity as a whole, although I do love most people as individuals and I'm very sociable.

This too...it's kind of hard having discussions with people about space travel and the continuation of the human species because, well, if humanity as a whole doesn't change their ways i think it'd be mortifying for us to spread ourselves around the universe. People think this is radical, and maybe it is, but I'm just trying to remove myself from the human perspective and look at where we fit in the big picture. Sometimes I get in "trouble" with others for things like this, this is just one example.

 

[Southern Kross]

I'm enjoying reading these . A lot of what others have said is similar to my experience, some has been (scarily) 100% me

On the whole I'm very independant and solitary and my day to day activities reflect this. I do enjoy socialising but 9 times out of 10 I'm so disappointed with the result, it makes me avoid it. Socially, I'm very difficult to define which probably confuses people. I can appear cheerful, friendly and talkative one moment and then sullen, withdrawn, and silent the next. My mood is much more dependant on my level of interest in the situation than most people. If I am at ease with the company and/or the conversation I will behave like an extrovert. The presence of strangers, feeling out of place and being unstimulated and unengaged by the conversation (which happens very often) makes me rather reserved. If I am feeling bored or awkward enough I often wander off, mentally or physically, to find something to occupy me. If at a social occasion this can be: gawking at a pictures or paintings on the wall, nosily perusing the book/DVD/music collection(s), spending time hovering over the refreshments table, attempting to interfer with the music that is playing and make my own selections, or if its a family thing, playing games and talking with the kids

I identify with what Orange Appled said about easily revealling things that are seemingly personal. I appear very open but so much of me is closed to the public. I am very controlling with what I let people see of 'the real me' - mostly they get an edited version. Some see this as bottling things up and therefore a negative thing but I do not. My emotions are so strong and intense and I always allow myself freedom to feel intently and explore the bounds of each one but this is purely an internal process and it is for me alone. I do not wish to parade my feelings or leave myself vulnerable. In fact, I feel out of control of my life if I accidently let something slip, like crying in front of others or losing my temper. It tends to shock people when I let loose in a big way because the intensity of my emotions scares them.

Something that I have realised lately (on the Fe deficincy front) is my inablity to imitate or put on an act. My strength is in supressing and editing feelings and inclinations, not in manufacturing a desired behaviour. I am almost always keenly aware of appropriate social behaviours and what is expected of me but even if I wish to imitate this (which I so often don't, even if it is to my benefit to do so), I lack the capacity to enact it. In a way I'm at the mercy of my natural inclinations. For this reason, I'm terrible at lying, acting, job interviews, networking, formal occasions etc.

I'm very perfectionistic about the things I do. I can't bear any mistakes or irregularities and am obsessive about stupid things like having things symmetrical or perfectly level, yet I'm incredibly messy and disorganized in general. If there are flaws in my work they bore into me until I can no longer see the positives. This makes me incredibly hard on myself and I am much more forgiving of faults in others than I am in myself. Like Rebe, I find it hard to take compliments because I often don't entirely believe them to be deserved. My failings are so present in my mind it is difficult to forget them. I suppose this sounds like I'm lacking in self esteem but I can be incredibly arrogant and a big know-it-all. This is a major fault and I am deperately attempting to correct it.

Everything embarrasses me - even this fact is embarrassing to me . I try to hide it because its childish and pathetic but I can't help it. I tend to do and say stupid things and, being rather shy, if people tease me about it, I burn with shame. I feel embarrassment so intently that I relive it over and over again in my head, sometimes years afterwards even if it was but a small thing that no one else had a second thought about.

I have trouble think and feeling in the moment. I always need time to think about things, let things settle to the bottom before I can properly respond. I have been publically berated for something I didn't do and I just stood there like a deer in the headlights. After about 20 minutes I become angry about it and think of all the comebacks I would have used but at the time I just took it like an idiot.

other minor points of interest:
- I have terrible memory
- I'm incredibly stubborn and opinionated despite giving the appearance of being a push over
- I'm rather impatient and easily annoyed but I make the effort to treat people with respect even if they are a pain to be around. This makes me seem nicer than I really am.
- I have the aforementioned biting sarcastic humour.

 

[CrystalViolet]

The really weird thing is I strongly identify with these posts. Right down to the acid tongue. Go figure.

 

[musicnerd93]

On the whole I'm very independant and solitary and my day to day activities reflect this. I do enjoy socialising but 9 times out of 10 I'm so disappointed with the result, it makes me avoid it. Socially, I'm very difficult to define which probably confuses people. I can appear cheerful, friendly and talkative one moment and then sullen, withdrawn, and silent the next. My mood is much more dependant on my level of interest in the situation than most people. If I am at ease with the company and/or the conversation I will behave like an extrovert. The presence of strangers, feeling out of place and being unstimulated and unengaged by the conversation (which happens very often) makes me rather reserved. If I am feeling bored or awkward enough I often wander off, mentally or physically, to find something to occupy me. If at a social occasion this can be: gawking at a pictures or paintings on the wall, nosily perusing the book/DVD/music collection(s), spending time hovering over the refreshments table, attempting to interfer with the music that is playing and make my own selections, or if its a family thing, playing games and talking with the kids

Same. :hi: I've sometimes been described as reclusive because I always seem to just want to stay home and do my own thing. And the thing about seeming extroverted around friends but then extremely introverted around people you don't know, often gets me into trouble. People will think that I'm a snob because I behave so bubbly and wild with my friends, but then, seemingly, ignore other people.

I'm terrible at lying, acting, job interviews, networking, formal occasions etc

Yess. I just don't lie because everyone can tell when I am. I tend to be too quiet to project my voice, so I'm not very good at acting either, unless I'm doing it with my friends. And, as much as I love hugs and physical affection, I just can't stand formal occaisions like weddings and things. Especially with my family. All the hugging, kissing, cheek-pinching and "oh look how old you are now!"'s. Ugh. Can't stand it.

I have trouble think and feeling in the moment. I always need time to think about things, let things settle to the bottom before I can properly respond. I have been publically berated for something I didn't do and I just stood there like a deer in the headlights. After about 20 minutes I become angry about it and think of all the comebacks I would have used but at the time I just took it like an idiot.

Ugh. Don't you hate that? This happens to me only...ALWAYS! :steam: Or I usually get into arguments with people, and then they apologize for being so rude and I'm like "Wait a second! I'm not finished! I still need to rip your skull apart!!"

other minor points of interest:

- I'm incredibly stubborn and opinionated despite giving the appearance of being a push over
- I'm rather impatient and easily annoyed but I make the effort to treat people with respect even if they are a pain to be around. This makes me seem nicer than I really am.
- I have the aforementioned biting sarcastic humour.

^ Same again.

 

[Queen Kat]

I'm an ENFP, but it isn't really obvious to my environment. When I'm around people I dont really like, I avoid having conversations with them, but once I'm around people who I feel like they are my "type" of people, I get really loud, but not anoyingly. At least, I haven'tmet a single person who was ever bothered by me being loud. So my loudness really depends on the kind of people I am around. I used to be very popular back in elementary school, most people saw me as the "weird, expressive" kid back then. In high school I immediately became the very least popular person, probably because I couldn't stand the kind of people I met there (snobby workaholics with outdated beliefs who were just BAD at being young). So in high school I became one of the loners. It wasn't hard for me to do, but I didn't really feel comfortable with that role. At least playing a loner gave me lots of confidence. Now I know that I like myself and that I can be without others too.

When I was younger, adults always called me a dreamer. According to them, I sometimes just stood there and dreamed. In the meantime I also loved playing with other children, at least if they didn't play any games that involved physical activities, because my body never worked really well. Because other children prefered physical games, I just had to play alone sometimes and entertain myself with my thoughts. I must admit that I always had an obsession with becoming famous and getting lots of attention. I remember that I already wanted to be on TV when I was four years old, but unfortunately my father always refused to sign me up at a casting agency. I don't know why, but I always thought I needed more and more attention. When I was 10, I started following acting classes, which I really enjoyed. I mostly enjoyed our plays at the end of the year, but I hated how I always had to play the mother or the older sister when I was younger (until 13). I liked the roles I got later, most of the time cold bitches. The last few years I've also done some plays, written by myself. There I played an obsessed stalker who ruins all of her boyfriend's relationships, a paranoid woman going crazy and a slutty trailor mom who likes wearing school girl uniforms. I decided to quit amateur acting a month or two ago, because I can't learn sccripts properly, even if I've written them myself. However, a few hours ago I just asigned for a role in a candy commercial and I really really hope I get it. I've also a movie script lying somewhere in my room that I've written a year ago. I hope I can make that movie once I'm in college, but I'm planning to just throw the script away and improvize all the dialogues because I can't remember them. My hunger for attention is never far away, but I decided that I'll just focus on something different. I have a huge imagination and if I have to believe my teachers I've got a fun and lively writing style (in Dutch), so I'm going to try to write a book and get famous with that one. Writers don't need to be super skinny if they want to maintain their fame, so that would be another reason why I would be a better writer than actor.

According to other people I'm blessed with a great mind. I personally think I'm cursed with it, because when you're smart you have to learn more and I hate learning. My hatred for learning is caused by my laziness, my stubbornness and my ADD (it's already a miracle that I've written this much right now, but that's because I'm multitasking at the moment). Yesterday I went to a job fair and their I've signed in at two employment agencies. My mother stated that she actually couldn't imagine me working properly. To be honest: I can't imagine that either. I'm lazy, but that's only because I have different goals than I'm supposed to and because I like having fun too much. I hate routine and I love having adventures. Unfortunately the world is almost out of adventures, so I'll have to do familiar things over and over again. I hate that, because I only feel alive when I'm on a full-fledged adventure. Sometimes I do new things that I'm not familiar with (nor are most people I know) and then other people say they think it's "scary" and that I'm "brave". I don't think I'm brave at all. Okay, I dare to go abroad on my own and I think that spiders and reptiles are cute and cuddly, but there are things that I'm afraid of that other people don't find scary at all (telephones, for example).

I really like animals and when I was little I liked almost everyone around me, except for people who never smiled. At the moment I'm actually pretty sceptic of others. I still dislike people who never smile, but I also dislike people who don't have any facial expression (I think I've always been allergic to that kind of people) and I really started disliking some other kinds of people: people who are too normal, workaholics, people who sit down under a bridge all day long yelling at people and throwing rocks at them (they actually belong to the "too normal" category), social workers without any people skills and extreme pessimists.

I've been raised by moderate pessimists who wanted me to become a pessimist too, but somehow I grew up to be a huge optimist. Yes, lots of bad stuff has happened to me, but I still see the happy side of things (thanks to a guy who learned me not to see the bad in everything all the time). I already told you I have this unrealistic wish to be famous and I do stupid things as if they were nothing, but I'm also able to see the happy and the good stuff in bad things. I'm not afraid of death, for example. I see myself like a huge vase: I'm very fun and I somehow seem to please people, but on the other side I'm not totally irreplacable and necessary and if you only think about the practical stuff, you'd see I'm actually just a huge waste of space and money. My death would be sad, but not totally dramatic, so that's positive!

Can't think of anything else at the moment. Maybe I'll add some stuff later.

 

[Aleksei]

One thing I forgot to mention is I have rather strong Se tendencies -- I think it's my 5th function. I love partying, I'm usually the first to volunteer to do crazy shit, I love food, sex, martial arts, driving fast, music and dancing, and I'm very overindulgent. Sometimes I like to just admire the beauty of a painting, or a pretty scene, or the snow falling or whatever -- just yesterday I sat down in my backyard and just stared in wonder at the waves forming in the middle of the river, for a full 15 minutes. Most of the time I'm just immersed in my own thoughts though, and my fine motor skills kinda suck and I'm shit at noticing details, so even then I'm pretty damn sure Se isn't a higher function of mine.

 

[Rebe]

It boggles my mind thinking about commenting to each poster but I really, really enjoyed reading all the posts. I relate to a lot of it and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside knowing that I am not the only odd duck.