• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

What is the hardest thing about being a woman?

Coriolis

Liberator
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
26,658
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I was trying to word it in a way that won't come off as horribly annoyed, because I think being a woman is super easy overall.

I would say men have it harder overall. Because woman, will always be "protected". That is like, the most basic instinct within humanity that has persisted in our evolution for an untold amount of time. Men pioneered the very idea of "society", it was their aspirations that created civilization. It was men's obsessions and stubbornness that created various types of knowledge. So ofc, men will have more latitude in the early stages of societal evolution. They created the space that you can even think about it all to begin with. It was never about "opportunity" that made men successful, it was risk taking and perseverance. It was stubbornness and strong ideas that they pushed against all odds. Men would bank everything on something, and either die trying, or succeed in glorious fashion. Sure, there was smart woman out there. But they can't blame "society" for not being able to do the same things that men do. If they thought all men became successful through sheer opportunity, they are dead wrong. Many men, face absolute opposition, and they still managed to overcome that.
If we want to look at natural instincts, it is for women, specifically mothers, to protect young. These are the fiercest fighters in the wild. Another natural instinct is for males to compete for females, i.e. the opportunity to reproduce. In a way, many of our social conventions try to subvert at least the first of these. Men's Pobsessions and stubbornness" may have created some knowledge, but I suspect women's immediate need, perhaps to care and provide for the next generation, created other knowledge. The development of agriculture, for instance, has come to be associated with women remaining close to home with children, while men ventured away to hunt. It is a logical extension of gathering behavior. Again, I think society has been quicker to label knowledge developed by men as innovation, and to ignore or even misattribute knowledge developed by women. If a society systematically excludes women from some opportunities to be successful, they certainly can blame it, as they have, and demand correction. This is why educational and professional opportunities have opened up to women over the past century.

Woman literally do not realize the privilege they have, just by existing. Nor do many woman truly listen to men to understand their way of thinking. Men and woman think very differently about a lot of things. Yet only men are seen as "weak and pathetic" or "incels" if they complain about the behaviors of woman. Despite woman doing the same thing are considered "strong and independent". Woman can do no wrong, in the eyes of society... because of instinct. The only people that blur this line, are those of the modern era, because modern society with all its quirky labels and personalities is quite literally breaking down what used to be the "natural order" of human civilization and the concept of family. I personally think a lot of the "progress" society strives for in terms of equality, is highly detrimental for the species overall, as opposed to the individual. No one considered the psychological implications of both parents working all the time, and their kid being raised by strangers. It just produces families of strangers, who go their own ways, never interacting. Then when they get older/get divorced, all end up dying alone or after several broken relationships, finally find someone to die with. The very concept of family, is dying. I can only think of a handful of people, out of most of the people I know, who has a decent and loving relationship with their family.
This paragraph contains many misconceptions. Men and women think more similarly on more topics than many people credit. We are all human beings first, and will also take on perspectives based on culture and other factors. Both men and women complain about each other, as well as about their own group. The reactions you mention are far from universal. I just as often see men commiserate with each other when one of them starts complaining about women. The "concept of family" never depended on a power imbalance between male/female (mother/father), even during times when sex-based divisions of labor made more sense. And anyone who thinks "both parents working all the time" is a modern phenomenon is unfamiliar with both historical reality, and even modern circumstance. Mother staying home to devote her time to children is the oddity, resulting from the introduction of modern timesaving devices in a time when traditional roles were still enforced. Before that, mother was home but busy with housework and other chores. Or, both parents worked on a farm or in a trade of business, with little free time for children. This is why grandparents and other extended family were so critical for so much of human history. Both parents WERE working, all day, every day. That persists in many parts of the world. In some places, women spend hours every day just collecting water for household tasks, leaving children in the care of other relatives. Hillary was right that it takes a village, but the idea hardly started with her.

When it comes to societal acceptance, relationships, personal obstacles, and level of individual responsibility... it greatly differs between the sexes. I don't even think it is a competition. Woman will be accepted, regardless of their personality as long as they look pretty. This is even more prevalent in today's society with things like live streaming and youtube. Men however, have to compete with both personality/charisma, looks, and financial wealth. Women get to have the concept of standards and pick and choose (even when there is no one to choose from), while most men have to take what they can get, if their "presentation" isn't good enough (not being over 6 feet tall for example). This is just sexual selective evolution that is prevalent in a lot mammal societies. This selective evolution is why people consider men more "funny" for example, because to secure a "mate" when you were not too attractive, you had to have something to keep a woman of interest engaged over tall, physically attractive "Chad". A lot of male traits are the result of this type of sexual selective evolution.
Again, more misconceptions, but at least you have some of the societal double standards down right. Women have not been held to the same level of personal responsibility in many cases, and this is to everyone's detriment. Similarly, men and women are held to superficial standards, though not the same ones.


There are some men with emotional intensity as I describe, but it is far more in common with females. But I am speaking of "baseline" or "natural disposition". Because upbringing, culture, and personal willpower can overcome many natural dispositions and instinct. I personally think that everyone is in a battle against their instincts, using what their upbringings taught them (positively or negatively). It is nature vs nurture etc. Some aspects of our nature can be both complimented, and contested depending on how we grew up. That is why there are patterns, regardless of upbringing. Showcasing what ideals some people aspire to.
Interesting. I think we are seeing the effects of upbringing here, with men still raised to be far less emotionally expressive than women. We should not confuse expression with experience, though. If anything, the emotions of most women I encounter seem constant but superficial, meaning they never turn off and are always at the surface, but generally seem to lack depth. Perhaps they don't know me well enough to share their deeper emotions. I do find, though, that when a man shares, there is more depth or intensity to it, even if the expression is relatively restrained. Again, I would attribute that more to upbringing rather than to any innate sex-based difference.
 

RadicalDoubt

Alongside Questionable Clarity
Joined
Jun 27, 2017
Messages
1,843
MBTI Type
TiSi
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
This is what I was going to say. This and the ability to give birth. I think the biological stuff about being born female is disgusting, but that might just be dysphoria talking. I'll gladly give up the possibility of living longer and having a stronger immune system, that's useless to me.
This is also a huge one for me (in addition to the period stuff as @fatgurl mentioned). I'm not particularly dysphoric probably, I think most AFAB people find periods to be a pain in the neck (and other areas oc lol). The fact that I can carry a child bothers me, if removing this capability alongside my period was healthy and legal, I'd probably go for it without much thought.
 
Last edited:

Morpeko

Noble Wolf
Joined
Sep 20, 2017
Messages
5,280
MBTI Type
LEFV
Enneagram
461
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
There are some men with emotional intensity as I describe, but it is far more in common with females. But I am speaking of "baseline" or "natural disposition". Because upbringing, culture, and personal willpower can overcome many natural dispositions and instinct. I personally think that everyone is in a battle against their instincts, using what their upbringings taught them (positively or negatively). It is nature vs nurture etc. Some aspects of our nature can be both complimented, and contested depending on how we grew up. That is why there are patterns, regardless of upbringing. Showcasing what ideals some people aspire to.
Every negative trait I've seen in a female, I've seen in at least one male as well. I always keep that in mind. So personally, I don't particularly find it relevant to "gender" most emotional traits or personality dispositions. Though I do agree that some behaviors are more common in a certain gender than the other. I agree that other factors vastly contribute, like upbringing and the uncontrollable influence of society themselves.
 

Morpeko

Noble Wolf
Joined
Sep 20, 2017
Messages
5,280
MBTI Type
LEFV
Enneagram
461
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
This is also a huge one for me (in addition to the period stuff as @fatgurl mentioned). I'm not particularly dysphoric probably, I think most AFAB people find periods to be a pain in the neck (and other areas oc lol). The fact that I can carry a child bothers me, if removing this capability alongside my period was healthy and legal, I'd probably go for it without much thought.
It's hard for me to tell the difference between dysphoria and finding it to be a nuisance (which periods undeniably are) but still identifying as a woman. I do agree that most AFAB people do not like their periods (though some do seem to identify with them and consider it an important part of whatever "womanhood" means to them, which is an outlook I can never understand). And I can relate to that. For me it makes me fall into self-hatred about being born into the wrong body, so that's kind of why I identify it as dysphoria.

Me being able to carry a child bothers me for those similar reasons (i.e. born into an unfortunate body that I don't identify with). That's the biggest problem for me, personally, but regardless of that, it's honestly just unfair to me that I'm the one who faces this risk if I'm sexually active and ultimately make the choice what to do with said child, and I'm the one who would have to experience the pains related to pregnancy and childbirth. That reminds me of another thing. I hate birth control and the effects it has on my body (though I use it to alter my period at times which is indeed beneficial). Yes, condoms exist, but they also affect me by changing the sensation.

I also want to say that I don't want to sound constantly like I'm complaining about being a woman, because I recognize many issues that men assigned at birth have to experience and empathize with the men in my life who deal with such things. I could write long posts about that as well. But I'm keeping my posts to what's relevant to the thread topic.
 

Ghost of the dead horse

filling some space
Joined
Sep 7, 2007
Messages
3,554
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Women are actually in a lot of ways the biologically superior sex. We live longer, have stronger immune systems, commit suicide less, and are way less likely to have heart attacks. Many genetic conditions are also X linked, which means that things like hemophilia and color blindness are also way less likely in women. Female babies are also more likely to survive difficult births and do better in the NICU. So from birth until out on average later deaths than you, there are a lot of advantages.

We are also on average more empathetic, more verbal, and more likely to graduate college.

so. Yeah. *shrugs*

being male has a its advantages and so does being female. And its a very limited perspective to say something like you did. But- lol- bad joke- what can you expect from a male
Women surely gather together with all-women-panels where they say that according to woman-logic, they are good

And when there's an all-male panel somewhere they all go boo-hoo
 

Abcdenfp

Terpsichore
Joined
May 19, 2017
Messages
1,663
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7W8
Being ambitious and having men say you want too much. Its not my problem that you are complacent. It is also not too much if i want the whole fucking world its my business you don't want to have dreams and goals to fight for? That's on you. I am not complacent and I wont just sit down and shut up.
 
Top