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What is the hardest thing about being a woman?

Frosty

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Not sure if this thread already exists but... the male version does so why not this one?

Whats the hardest thing about being a woman?
 

Luminous

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A major one is being judged by how you look. And there's no winning. You're too much something... too short, too tall, too thin, too fat, too feminine, too unfeminine, too madeup, too little makeup. And the message society sends that love and desire heavily depend on these looks, with little emphasis on other things, like character.
 
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Shaving your legs without cutting the shit out of your knees.
 

chickpea

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being followed and harassed. the potential threat of physical harm from not reciprocating sexual feelings. inability to feel safe being alone in certain environments/situations. the high risk of sexual assault.
 

Frosty

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I think the hardest thing for me is this... expectation for me to be giggly and bubbly and extroverted. It seems like guys, well there is more tolerance for introverted guys than introverted girls. With guys, theres a such thing as like- the strong and silent type, where with women- the term more used is ‘bitchy or stuck up’ instead.

And there is so much backstabbing all the fucking time. Women are really nasty to other women in my experience- especailly in the age group that I am in. Its like there are constant little wars over absolutely nothing.

I will probably be back later but that is what comes to mind for me right now
 

Merced

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It's a thing with all minority groups but especially bad for women: Knowing that your successes don't count and your failures will be used to represent a whole.

A woman who is good at driving must've just gotten lucky while a woman who is bad at driving is evidence that women can't drive. When you win, it's a fluke and when you lose, it's obvious you would've in the first place.

It's extra shitty in male dominated fields.
 

Lady Lazarus

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Perhaps the hardest and strangest thing is what underlies the mentions of sexual harassment and being boiled down to your physical beauty: due to being inherently commodified, lacking the same sort of control/agency over something as basic as yourself (value and boundaries) that men are by default afforded. The body is an enclosure, it quite literally is intended to protect you (here I am calling you, your brain) from the world. Yet, strangely the body of the woman is the world's and is more something which exposes her to it than protects her from it in the cases mentioned.
 

cascadeco

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I agree with posts so far; emphasis on looks and being ripped to shreds by *both men and women* for anything having to do with looks, imperfections, clothing, style, hair, everything under the sun, is a big issue. Also, legitimate concerns and anxieties re safety, stalkers, creeps, etc.

And, being more of a 'strong and silent' type of female, I agree with Frosty that in many jobs that is viewed poorly, and these traits in general are not viewed super positively in group social settings of women particularly, though too, many guys don't really like it. I've often mused that my personality/overall quietness would be totally acceptable if I were a guy. But, I don't really consider this a 'hard' thing about being a woman, more just annoying. The hardest elements tie to physical appearance and safety.
 
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probably choosing makeup
You’re really not helping our case.

As [MENTION=29687]Frosty[/MENTION] mentioned introverted women definitely seem to get a stigma attached to them as being ‘difficult’. My gf is very much an introvert and enjoys spending a lot of time by herself. So do I. Yet I don’t seem to catch anywhere near the grief over it. I absolutely get the ‘quiet and mysterious’ label which actually works in my favor with both sexes. She gets the she must be a real snooty bitch tag from other women (her coworkers especially) and to an extent men as well.
 

anticlimatic

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And the message society sends that love and desire heavily depend on these looks, with little emphasis on other things, like character.

When it comes to romance I think character comes into play in areas that the individual holds particular responsibility/accountability. Stereotypically for women, their only important accountable responsibility is raising children, which does have character facets that are extremely attractive to men- a gentle touch, a thorough sense of attentiveness, etc. I've noticed that the more responsible, accountable, and dominant the individual (male or female), the more looks are important to them in the opposite sex- because they don't need to make sure their partner's character is 'properly oriented,' because their partner is not the one ultimately making decisions for their lives. Submissive men and women- the types that never know where to go for dinner, what to do that day, how to deal with shit as it comes up- value character over looks, because they need to make sure they're with someone who will make the right decisions for them. It's a tipping scale of sorts I think, and the beautiful thing about is that if you don't like where you are on that scale you can either pull more responsibilities into your side, or push them off, to move it where you want it to be. Ultimately, you have control over this part- if you want men to value your character, put yourself into a position of power and authority over your own life, and they will value your decision making skills for what they can do for him.
 

Hermit of the Forest

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The influence of hormones can be quite annoying.
 

Luminous

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Stereotypically for women, their only important accountable responsibility is raising children

Another thing that's hard about being a woman: Being boiled down to merely a receptacle in which new humans can form and an agent who ensures their survival. No importance beyond that. After 40, after your kids could survive on their own, you're worthless.

I've noticed that the more responsible, accountable, and dominant the individual (male or female), the more looks are important to them in the opposite sex- because they don't need to make sure their partner's character is 'properly oriented,' because their partner is not the one ultimately making decisions for their lives. Submissive men and women- the types that never know where to go for dinner, what to do that day, how to deal with shit as it comes up- value character over looks, because they need to make sure they're with someone who will make the right decisions for them. It's a tipping scale of sorts I think, and the beautiful thing about is that if you don't like where you are on that scale you can either pull more responsibilities into your side, or push them off, to move it where you want it to be. Ultimately, you have control over this part- if you want men to value your character, put yourself into a position of power and authority over your own life, and they will value your decision making skills for what they can do for him.

The idea that a woman just needs to be more responsible, accountable, and dominant in order to be valued for her character is false, both generally in my personal experience and backed by research. Just try being the one who outperforms most of the others in school, and who refuses to play a dumb bimbo who needs to be rescued in order to impress the boys. You'll not get very far in general. See this or this.
 

Lord Lavender

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From second hand experience I have been told by the women in my life that they feel the need to be sociable and freindly,the need to look good enough.t.c. Plus the remaints of anti women structural and cultural factors can make life harder. I remember debating once on here and a metaphor we conjured up was that men are like appliances and women like oraments both genders are objecfied but in different ways. Basically for the purpose of this thread women are objecfied for passive reasons like there is that undercurrent of women beijg judged for their looks, fashion,deamour e.t.c.
 

anticlimatic

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The idea that a woman just needs to be more responsible, accountable, and dominant in order to be [more] valued for her character is false, both generally in my personal experience and backed by research.

It will never win you other dominant types, but among the submissive market it will up your standing between you and the other dominant females. There's one of two big cards to be played as early on in life as possible: discover who you're attracted to, and mold yourself into what they want, or mold yourself into what you want, and discover who is attracted to that.
 

Frosty

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Another thing that's hard about being a woman: Being boiled down to merely a receptacle in which new humans can form and an agent who ensures their survival. No importance beyond that. After 40, after your kids could survive on their own, you're worthless.



The idea that a woman just needs to be more responsible, accountable, and dominant in order to be valued for her character is false, both generally in my personal experience and backed by research. Just try being the one who outperforms most of the others in school, and who refuses to play a dumb bimbo who needs to be rescued in order to impress the boys. You'll not get very far in general. See this or this.




Yeah I was really good at one of my classes last semester, an english class, and Id just like... volunteer normally I guess? I enjoyed the class so I volunteered. Not obnoxiously or anything, but I just... I was just good at it.

So one day after I volunteered some guy on the other side of the room made some sort of comment that I only half heard where I did hear a couple of words and one was ‘know it all’.

It just sucked. And it did feel soet of gender based. Like he was pissed off or something that I was just a better writer than he was. And the thing is... It felt really gender based. I cant prove it of course, but the amount of just like bitterness in his voice almost sounded like... I was out of my place or something. Like how dare I?

Ive seen guys be way more show-offy than I was. And no one says anything. No one cares. But I rarely see the same from women. Because... I do believe its less acceptable for women to remind the world that we arent total morons. And so women stop raising their hands

I dont know. I really do think there is an effort to sort of shun woman who have a skill in something. Like its ok for them to be ‘ok’ at things, its ok to humor them, but god forbid they are better at something
 

PumpkinMayCare

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Not the hardest thing but period cramps and other symptoms. They just suck, like a lot, having to deal with these every frigging month. Feeling like someone stabbed you in the lower abdomen, left the knife, to twist and turn it every few seconds, the sickness on top - yeah. I and friends have tried to fight these symptoms with the pill, searched high and low for a brand that helps, never found one that worked, but the whole search has cost me a ton of money and of course time, and some friends had to deal with very unpleasant side-effects too, like heavy weight gain and what not. It's just an unpleasant thing. I'm glad not every woman has such heavy PMS.
 

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Whats the hardest thing about being a woman?
Picking up the fucking check for dinner once in a while, I imagine.

Related to that, picking a restaurant might be the second.
 

Coriolis

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Having people make unfounded assumptions about me simply because I am not a man. This encompasses many of the specific issues already mentioned. When I started dating my husband, I told him point blank never to assume I was going to do something or like something or be some way just because I am a woman, and don't expect me to do the reverse just because he is a man. We decide explicitly based on circumstances, inclination, and ability.

The idea that a woman just needs to be more responsible, accountable, and dominant in order to be valued for her character is false, both generally in my personal experience and backed by research. Just try being the one who outperforms most of the others in school, and who refuses to play a dumb bimbo who needs to be rescued in order to impress the boys.
Plus, going the other way, I am a fairly dominant person and have always put character first in choosing partners. Looks count only to the extent that they reflect reasonable efforts at fitness and grooming, which I see as a sign of respect for self and others.

probably choosing makeup
Easy: just say no and don't bother with it. Save your money, your time, and your skin.

Picking up the fucking check for dinner once in a while, I imagine.

Related to that, picking a restaurant might be the second.
Sadly some guys are highly resistant to this, even in this day and age. Of course, that would be a show stopper for me. Picking the restaurant - well, they are more likely to indulge that as an ego-boosting act of chivalry, I suppose. If I let him choose, though, I learn another tidbit about him and what he likes, and knowledge is power.
 
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