[sx] What is it really like to be sexual last?

[Owfin]

Just to confirm my own type...

 

[Southern Kross]

I suppose once you get behind my friendly, easy-going, agreeable facade, I seem detached and not all that warm. I'm not good at being probed or grilled and will give a shallow answer to avoid a question if I feel uncomfortable. I dislike when people fail to restrain their emotions in public or generally cannot/will not attempt adapt/edit extreme behaviour to suit the situation. I like the idea of intimacy but mostly I feel rather awkward about giving and receiving it. I'm not good with affection or letting people know that I care and struggle to connect with others with real depth. I feel deeply and passionately but do not show any signs of this externally. I suppose I seem calm, even-tempered,and laid-back. There is an inoffensive neutrality about me that perhaps can make me seem dull or bland. I am not the sort of person that people find charismatic or compelling to listen to.

 

[Elfboy]

I suppose once you get behind my friendly, easy-going, agreeable facade, I seem detached and not all that warm. I'm not good at being probed or grilled and will give a shallow answer to avoid a question if I feel uncomfortable. I dislike when people fail to restrain their emotions in public or generally cannot/will not attempt adapt/edit extreme behaviour to suit the situation. I like the idea of intimacy but mostly I feel rather awkward about giving and receiving it. I'm not good with affection or letting people know that I care and struggle to connect with others with real depth. I feel deeply and passionately but do not show any signs of this externally. I suppose I seem calm, even-tempered,and laid-back. There is an inoffensive neutrality about me that perhaps can make me seem dull or bland. I am not the sort of person that people find charismatic or compelling to listen to.

liked your post, I relate to the bolded

 

[mikamickmac]

I suppose once you get behind my friendly, easy-going, agreeable facade, I seem detached and not all that warm. I'm not good at being probed or grilled and will give a shallow answer to avoid a question if I feel uncomfortable. I dislike when people fail to restrain their emotions in public or generally cannot/will not attempt adapt/edit extreme behaviour to suit the situation. I like the idea of intimacy but mostly I feel rather awkward about giving and receiving it. I'm not good with affection or letting people know that I care and struggle to connect with others with real depth. I feel deeply and passionately but do not show any signs of this externally. I suppose I seem calm, even-tempered,and laid-back. There is an inoffensive neutrality about me that perhaps can make me seem dull or bland. I am not the sort of person that people find charismatic or compelling to listen to.

I related to all of it!

 

[Oaky]

I would often feel a slight lingering sense of sorrow upon another individual initiating a private conversation with me on a personal level.

 

[Speed Gavroche]

It's having issues with being out of touch with your sensuality.

You know that someone is Sx-last when you have a hard time to imagine them having sex and see this as a concrete and serious option, when you imagine them having sex it's looks weird and even laughable because it seems completely out of context with theses people.

Intensity and intimacy are treated like a bibelot in a cupboard, somethink wich is separated from your body, that you don't feel the energy deeply implanted in your guts, from this perserpective it seems like an ornament, really marvelous at times, but looks artificial and unnecessary at first.

 

[Owfin]

I suppose once you get behind my friendly, easy-going, agreeable facade, I seem detached and not all that warm. I'm not good at being probed or grilled and will give a shallow answer to avoid a question if I feel uncomfortable. I dislike when people fail to restrain their emotions in public or generally cannot/will not attempt adapt/edit extreme behaviour to suit the situation. I like the idea of intimacy but mostly I feel rather awkward about giving and receiving it. I'm not good with affection or letting people know that I care and struggle to connect with others with real depth. I feel deeply and passionately but do not show any signs of this externally (sort of relate). I suppose I seem calm, even-tempered,and laid-back. There is an inoffensive neutrality about me that perhaps can make me seem dull or bland. I am not the sort of person that people find charismatic or compelling to listen to.

Hmm, I'm a bit more animated and not as neutral, but I related a lot to the bolded.

 

[Southern Kross]

Hmm, I'm a bit more animated and not as neutral, but I related a lot to the bolded.

Oh, I'm an animated person too; I didn't mean to say that I'm not interesting at all (that is, I think I'm interesting anyway ). I meant more that I don't tend to inspire strong feelings in others; neither positive or negative. People don't particularly hate me nor love me to bits. I seem to lack the je ne sais quois that people typically look for. I never feel like others are really keen to have me around; mostly they just don't mind me being there and for this reason I'm often overlooked.

 

[EJCC]

I like Southern Kross' response. With exceptions being that I'm not inoffensively neutral, and I'm totally fine with being probed and grilled... keeping in mind that I'm very good at detaching myself from answers to probing questions, and by that I mean that I can be very matter-of-fact about (some of) my emotions and talk about them from an outsider's perspective. (I have an ENFP friend who is the same way.) I can have great, intense conversations with Sx-doms as long as they don't expect me to "open up" and talk about my insecurities. I can hear about their insecurities and be fine as long as I remain detached.

Regarding Owfin's response to Southern Kross' post: I also don't define myself as being all that detached, but friends of mine have told me that I'm not nearly as emotionally open as I feel like I am. I think it's because, on a scale from detachment to openness, the line where I start to feel uncomfortable and self-conscious is much closer to detachment than the average line... if that makes sense.

I would often feel a slight lingering sense of sorrow upon another individual initiating a private conversation with me on a personal level.

I think I agree with this? When I have very intimate/intense one-on-one interactions with someone, in which both of us feel and express that intensity (as opposed to intense interactions where one of us is intense and the other tries to respond rationally/reasonably/detached-ly), I also feel sad, as well as exhausted, because I'm so bad at having those conversations that my level of discomfort borders on traumatic.

 

[Such Irony]

Oh, I'm an animated person too; I didn't mean to say that I'm not interesting at all (that is, I think I'm interesting anyway ). I meant more that I don't tend to inspire strong feelings in others; neither positive or negative. People don't particularly hate me nor love me to bits. I seem to lack the je ne sais quois that people typically look for. I never feel like others are really keen to have me around; mostly they just don't mind me being there and for this reason I'm often overlooked.

Not sure how SX last this is, but I also relate to this. I've always attributed it to strong I. I don't reveal alot of myself unless I know someone well so they don't really know me well enough to have a strong opinion of me one way or another.

 

[Southern Kross]

Not sure how SX last this is, but I also relate to this. I've always attributed it to strong I. I don't reveal alot of myself unless I know someone well so they don't really know me well enough to have a strong opinion of me one way or another.

Perhaps it's a general IXXP thing that is just emphasized further by being sx-last

 

[sleuthiness]

Measured against self-preservation, the position of the sexual instinct merely estimates one's intensity requirements.

As such, the term itself could be changed to avoid further confusion. Anyway.

But hey, speedy, cool way of putting it.

Those who seek intensity (sx) can within intimacy (sp) or the group (so).

I'm at my most focused with introduced to tons of ideas at once and permitted the freedom to cherrypick whichever, eavesdropping, jumping into conversations, pressing anyone's buttons, without ever holding on. I love saying bye! Probably my fav thing ever.

 

[Cimarron]

Any other viewpoints? Any sx-last people disagree with what's been said/portrayed so far?

 

[Hazashin]

All of this sounds depressing to me...

 

[Mycroft]

I relate to much of what Southern Kross said, except the part about appearing bland. That's the fun of being a five I guess. People either think I'm haughty or a weirdo.

I do get fired up about things, though. It particularly bothers me when I see someone being an intellectual bully on the basis of poor logic and indefensible, shoddy thinking, and I've gotten myself into trouble getting all House on a few people. (I, uhm, tend to dislike 1s.)

 

[Uytuun]

I relate to much of what Southern Kross said, except the part about appearing bland. That's the fun of being a five I guess. People either think I'm haughty or a weirdo.

+1, although, they seem to think I'm an okish weirdo mostly...I can be entertaining and possibly intriguing, but I am personally compelling only to a few.

 

[SD45T-2]

Any other viewpoints? Any sx-last people disagree with what's been said/portrayed so far?

Not really.

I think I can come across as nonchalant or bland. I generally don't talk about myself in the abstract because it generally feels like I don't have much of a self to talk about.

 

[Elfboy]

Hmm, I'm a bit more animated and not as neutral, but I related a lot to the bolded.

the parts you bolded could all just have to do with being ISTJ

 

[Riva]

Sx last are my favourite type to poke . They have such odd reactions. Cute too. Any hint of Sx would imply annoyance when poked. But not Sx last. lolz.

I would often feel a slight lingering sense of sorrow upon another individual initiating a private conversation with me on a personal level.

I was thinking of you too, when I made the above comment.

 

[Speed Gavroche]

It's like having a low libido and read at bed next to Pamela Anderson, drinking tea. You look like you are gay while you are not.