[Fi] What does Fi look like and what are ii'ts strengths and applications?

[PeaceBaby]

We are getting close
I still want something I can tell to me 8 year old ENFP (or xxFP) kid...that I might not tell my xxXX as far as the best formula for him to be happy/play to his strengths in life. It needs to be something an 8 year old can understand. This typology business is way too up its own arse for it's own good

What I am wondering is how you could, in reflecting yourself on this information, help your child figure out their own strengths. Will offer them a great deal more power uncovering it for themselves. And reduce the chances that they will grow up thinking they are good at something when they're perhaps average, or being saddled with some sort of "I'm supposed to be good at _____" burden.

Here's a true story - I had a teacher in Grade 5 who told me I was an excellent listener - and for many many years, I feared that if I did not pay attention to what people said every single second, that I wouldn't be "good" anymore. Taken to extreme, it just became another way of "pleasing" and "losing oneself" endemic to the 9. And I was hindered in the ability to share my own voice easily.

What happens or is happening when that introspection keeps looping? Or, what I see is that decisions are made but the process is being refined internally at each step, to such an extent that Ne gives Fi so many variables (anxiety) that the user stops. To an outsider, the Fi person will say to themselves the destination is still there but let's pull over to the side of the road and read the map. Depending upon how they see that map as opposed to how they saw the trip going, it can be rather grim looking. I mean, reality is sort of grim - not ideal - sometimes. So, rationalization occurs, procrastination.

You get older and wake up, becoming more aware that if you don't start doing something to completion, get out the canvas and use up the paint in the tubes, follow the map even when there are flat tires on the way, that very little of what's in your heart and mind will ever come to manifest in the "real" world. Even if that something can never possibly be perfect and may never completely feel like it was expressed in the way that would be most gratifying or pure to the vision or as helpful as in your mind. Even though that expression could even be interpreted wrongly or badly or used for "wrong" purposes. Big stuff.

imo, you can't really do much about that? Te is the ass-kick-delivered-to-self that's required to get serious, and it is a continual struggle, and no one else's ass-kick can make any kind of permanent improvement.

Being ok with the 80 / 20 rule? 80% is good enough? Maintaining forward momentum even when things seem to be in disarray?

I think if someone "believed" in my ability to do something, that would be motivating, but my action or trust may very disappear when the cheer-leading was absent.

A solid belief in my ability to work it out is probably the best thing you could offer. (Plus encourage me to make a deadline!)

 

[Dreamer]

I agree with this. However, I have to dig into the deepest parts of someone's soul/psyche/whatever you want to call it before I can make that decision. I feel bad because I fear it makes me seem shallow (I know, people never describe the introverted functions as shallow ...except Si lol). Like, I can seem to bond so well with another person. However, over time, I feel the strong urge to pull away because I've decided that this person isn't worth my psychological energy (and it's not that they are bad people inherently, I just feel the need to not let them in)...and that person may notice and feel sad that the dynamic has changed.

Do you think you may find "potential" in each and every person so you don't want to miss digging deeper into someone's soul? Or do you think perhaps that is your default and that potential isn't found until you've gotten there, and decide at that point to pull out or not?

I find for me, my default is to shut everyone out, emotionally, like theirs doesn't impact my state at all. But something about then has to stand out to me as something interesting and unique for me to want to explore them further. So for me, even if each and every person has potential to learn more and to in part broaden my own emotional understandings, there has to be some lure for me to want to get in. I think in the past, I use to jump in with everyone, but it just got to be far too burdensome over time so I had to adapt and change that behavior if I wanted to maintain my normative emotional state.

 

[Qlip]

Fi is kind of pointed on one end, round on the other, and shiny. I use my Fi to open tin cans.

 

[thoughtlost]

Do you think you may find "potential" in each and every person so you don't want to miss digging deeper into someone's soul? Or do you think perhaps that is your default and that potential isn't found until you've gotten there, and decide at that point to pull out or not?

I find for me, my default is to shut everyone out, emotionally, like theirs doesn't impact my state at all. But something about then has to stand out to me as something interesting and unique for me to want to explore them further. So for me, even if each and every person has potential to learn more and to in part broaden my own emotional understandings, there has to be some lure for me to want to get in. I think in the past, I use to jump in with everyone, but it just got to be far too burdensome over time so I had to adapt and change that behavior if I wanted to maintain my normative emotional state.

I mean, I do start off pretty closed off but recently, I am struggling to handle a friendship because I don't feel we truly connect in a way that is desirable for me. This doesn't only happen. The last time this happened was 7 or 8 years ago. Normally, I am really good at keeping a nice, safe distance from people I am sure I won't connect with well. Usually, people are in a neutral zone where I don't flat out reject them nor do I totally accept their internal space entirely. I never let them in my own space, but I give them an opportunity to show themselves.

I think in this situation, I got pulled in somehow. It wasn't totally apparent that they weren't right for me until I dug deeper and deeper...

 

[Eric B]

Fi is at the bottom, a judgment of good vs bad, which is how a thing or situation affects us as humans. All judgment overall is a "sorting", of right or wrong. It can be either an impersonal determination of how things work (or don't work), which will then be "true or false", which is "Thinking", or the more personal matter of how they affect us, and especially our emotions, which we call "good or bad", which is "Feeling". The determination can be based on an internal model of what's good or bad, which is Fi, while Fe draws instead, directly from the "real world" environment.

Both attitudes can do the same things and even look the same and have the same applications (often the perception function is what will make things look different, as it determines the sorts of things we will sort out with our judgment function). The difference, again, is drawing directly from the outside source (and essentially "merging" with it so you adopt the values), or filtering through the internal model.

The strength is being able to step back and look at a situation independently and not simply take on a group's values readily without one's own reflection. The weakenss (of a less mature form of the function) is projecting (this is what introverted functions) one's own values onto others, assuming their need is the same as yours, though it might not be. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it isn't. The extraverted judgment is more "local", while the introverted one is more "universal", and a sitation starts out as a local event, though it might have universal applications, so the mature function will know which is which. (Then it will put oneself in the other's shoes and "identify").

"User" for any function is a bit of a misnomer; what is really meant is "preferrer". To "prefer" the function means its place with in the psyche is either directly associated with the ego complex (where it becomes "dominant"), or associated with what's called the "caretaker" complex, which assigns the auxiliary. The higher complex the function is associated with, the more mature its form will likely be. So in the tertiary position, it will be somewhat conscious, but still have a bit of a childlike or vulnerable quality, and may come off in more of the "screw everyone; I want to do what's pleasant for me" stereotype. As the person grows older, it will mature more into empathizing. For the [undeveloped] inferior and lower, it will likely appear more primitive and undifferentiated, where the person just reacts and tries to self-preserve, but without any conscious assessment of the situation. The lower complexes that will then associate with it, will generally be more negative.

 

[PeaceBaby]

[MENTION=5223]MDP2525[/MENTION]: also -- anything that encourages an element of spontaneity to get us out of the looping mode and into using Ne. Anything novel can help catapult out of of looping mode. Sometimes I deliberately get in the car and just drive without a plan or intention just to help fuel Ne, inspiration in real-time.

 

[Poki]

What happens or is happening when that introspection keeps looping? Or, what I see is that decisions are made but the process is being refined internally at each step, to such an extent that Ne gives Fi so many variables (anxiety) that the user stops. To an outsider, the Fi person will say to themselves the destination is still there but let's pull over to the side of the road and read the map. Depending upon how they see that map as opposed to how they saw the trip going, it can be rather grim looking. I mean, reality is sort of grim - not ideal - sometimes. So, rationalization occurs, procrastination.

I guess I'm trying to define unhealthy and it piggybacks on what your description is. Do you find this makes sense? (I'm trying to define how I see it from an outsider) and if it does, what is the best way around that? "just do something" is my approach but that doesn't work for NFP's. What would a better more helpful mantra be?

It drives me nuts how people are pushed to unhealthy like that. Its like others cause you to question EVERYTHING and everything has good/bad/indifferent sides.

As someone that gets a SHIT ton done...just go and adjust and adapt on the fly. Learn and grow, perfection first time is futile. Do what you love and you dont mind doing it over and over, do what you hate and you want to just be done and the process is a roller coaster of emotions. Ignore judgemental...dont confuse critical with critical thinking. One is a judgement of person, one is analysis of task.

for a function that is deemed as "self" so much, they seem to be steered so much by others away from actual "self".

To an Fi user, your life is your life period...reach the goals you wanna reach. Go about life the best way you know how. Follow others who have a strength in an area you are really weak and you will fail miserably. Live, laugh, love. I see more Fi dominant people fail trying to be Te then i see Fi doms fail being Fi. Direct path is NOT always the best option. Find that balance that makes you happy.

 

[PeaceBaby]

for a function that is deemed as "self" so much, they seem to be steered so much by others away from actual "self".

Which is why, for an INFP who's an enneagram 9, it seems near-crazy that Fi is so often called "selfish". I'm like "wtf, all I ever seem to do is take the thoughts and feelings of others into account!"

I see more Fi dominant people fail trying to be Te then i see Fi doms fail being Fi.

And yet, we need to learn to incorporate Te into us in order to effectively communicate Fi; I need that integration of Te in order to become my best self.

This is the trap:

INFPs caught up in their Te may be so bent on being responsible that they fail to spend sufficient time empathizing with others (Fi) or functioning creatively (Ne). And since being responsible is culturally endorsed as a positive virtue, they may miss the fact that it can actually be unhealthy for them, causing them to forfeit some level of open-mindedness (Ne) and compassion (Fi).​

I have definitely been there and flit on the edges of that still from time to time. Inferior Te can very challenging but we are on the same team so is worth the effort to work through.

 

[Poki]

Which is why, for an INFP who's an enneagram 9, it seems near-crazy that Fi is so often called "selfish". I'm like "wtf, all I ever seem to do is take the thoughts and feelings of others into account!"



And yet, we need to learn to incorporate Te into us in order to effectively communicate Fi; I need that integration of Te in order to become my best self.

This is the trap:

INFPs caught up in their Te may be so bent on being responsible that they fail to spend sufficient time empathizing with others (Fi) or functioning creatively (Ne). And since being responsible is culturally endorsed as a positive virtue, they may miss the fact that it can actually be unhealthy for them, causing them to forfeit some level of open-mindedness (Ne) and compassion (Fi).​

I have definitely been there and flit on the edges of that still from time to time. Inferior Te can very challenging but we are on the same team so is worth the effort to work through.

How do properly be responsible without empathizing though...i know Te who just bull dozes people thinking they are being responsible while screwing a bunch of shit up. Most dom Te at some point in their life realizes they lose people that matter because they failed to empathize, yet their whole life they pushed people away from using empathy because it was weak. All the while using what they deem as "objective" analysis with a blind eye to steer themselves to think they are RIGHT.

Balance is the key, knowing where to put things so they operate smoothly and with growth all around.

 

[PeaceBaby]

How do properly be responsible without empathizing though...i know Te who just bull dozes people thinking they are being responsible while screwing a bunch of shit up. Most dom Te at some point in their life realizes they lose people that matter because they failed to empathize, yet their whole life they pushed people away from using empathy because it was weak. All the while using what they deem as "objective" analysis with a blind eye to steer themselves to think they are RIGHT.

Balance is the key, knowing where to put things so they operate smoothly and with growth all around.

*nods* We do all have our shit to learn in this playground of human learning.

Coaching has been such a fantastic discovery - my style is warm and open listening. I use my best skills, ask questions framed from an empathic and intuitive sense, and this can help shape future-oriented growth for the people I coach. All with the client in charge and the author of their own lives in a goal-oriented paradigm. I am enjoying how that fits.

 

[burningranger]

I've been having some interesting realizations about this, but I can't quite put them into words in the way I woudl like. I don't know how much of a type related thing this is, but I know that for myself I have a problem getting lost in other people's feelings. I think I've lost some of that inherent Fi independence because of that, because altough I'm still not naturally one to follow external values...specially being a 9 I can kinda get dragged a bit into it by way of self-neglect. As if Fi is there in the background, beneath everyone else's stuff I feel inundated with, speaking very softly. I think I've had many of my Fi values rejected throughout my life and this has made me have to put up walls...which seems to be inversely propotional to how much clarity I can get on how I authentically feel about things...and therefore how much I bring that into my life.

I've also had some non-verbal insights into this whle T/F thing.... a thought that helps me is......I'm an ENFP...but am I BEING an E...and an N...and an F....and a P??

That thought alone does a number inside and invigorarates me...puts me in touch with how I was more when I was a kid...cause my preference is E but that hasn't translated into my human relationships for many years....my preference is N and I feel this sense of enpowerment when I abide there primarly...but I haven't capitalized on that in my life and affaris....and F specially....I've developed many many T-like artifices I believe....I think F is to T as S is to N....and this waaay more intutive and sort of subjective way of going about life that has you rely more in feelings (in the most obvious way that comes to mind) is something I have dismissed quite unconsciosuly now that I see it! I feel also more enpowered when I think of being more F like...to LEAD with that....like I can acess a more primal reservoir of intuition and knowigness when dealing both with people and everyday situations....P is also a side that I might have been exploring the lesser side of .....perhaps because our society has very J-like expectations of people.... the non-reliance on spontaneity and mistrust of a more observer-like defauly stance towards things.

BUt ALL of these seem to have been socially conditioned defense mechanisms...maybe because the ENFP way to be is not very valued...and I've shut that down quite a bit.

I have to say though, even though I'm just talking about myself, I don't think this means in any way that I'm a minority in terms of ENFPs getting out of touch with their essence. I think the vast majority, at least the ones who are not really happy with their lives...probably feel this way in some sense...but have just learned to try and adopt more I.S.T.J. like traits to cope with our environment and its unspoken expectatins.

I feel much better when I think of it in this simplified manner - am I being E, N, F or P? As far as Fi is concerned...I think I've been approaching many of things in life that would have normally fallen under it's jurisdition with a very T-like approach.

I also realized that deep empathy and a sense of putting myself in other's shoes in order to gauge my personal values and dealing wiht other people in relationships is there IN SPADES...but is heavily underused. Not in the sense that I'm not attuned to people feelings and an empathetic...but in the sense I'm not capitalizing on that data for my own benefit and for harmanious dealings with my environment. So it's not so much like a strength that needs to be grown so much as it is a deep well of inherent potential that I need to flip a switch in my perception to acess. Like a mode I haven't been using. This is intuitevely kind of what moved me to even come up with this topic. I think most of us ...i said MOST....are NOT using our inherent strenghts and applying them to our life for our own benefit. An ENFP is MEANT to use Fi his life on the way to personal fullfilment in the same way an INTJ is meant to use Te. It's the path of least resistence and highest congruence.

BECAUSE I don't feel we focus enough on identifying and studying the strengths for each type and making that the single most important part of MBTI....I think many people lose the point of what knowing your cognitive preferences even is. An ENFP will find happiness by using PRIMARLY Ne and Fi to handle life...they will come to perhaps the same results as other types but their own way. Seems really obvious right? I think the extent to which this doesn't happen for most people is quite staggering


EDIT: Also I wonder how succesufl you can be as a Fi user when you are concerned with what others think...seeings how Fi is supposed to NOT extrovert feeling. I do that ALOT....I'm often more intune with what everyone else around me is feeling that I am of what I am feeling.

 

[Coriolis]

EDIT: Also I wonder how succesufl you can be as a Fi user when you are concerned with what others think...seeings how Fi is supposed to NOT extrovert feeling. I do that ALOT....I'm often more intune with what everyone else around me is feeling that I am of what I am feeling.

Why are you concerned with what others think? What is the nature of this concern?

How do properly be responsible without empathizing though...i know Te who just bull dozes people thinking they are being responsible while screwing a bunch of shit up. Most dom Te at some point in their life realizes they lose people that matter because they failed to empathize, yet their whole life they pushed people away from using empathy because it was weak. All the while using what they deem as "objective" analysis with a blind eye to steer themselves to think they are RIGHT.

There is at least one other thread specifically on empathy, where the point was made that the connection between empathy and responsible action is tenuous at best. Meaning: one can act responsibly and constructively without empathising (i.e. feeling the other person's "pain"), and one can empathize but still act in a way that makes things worse. In the first case one simply uses knowledge of the situation and cause/effect reasoning to decide how to act.

 

[prplchknz]

like happy death.

 

[burningranger]

Why are you concerned with what others think? What is the nature of this concern?.

Their feelings show up in my body, and their thoughts in my mind. I'm an empath.

 

[Coriolis]

Their feelings show up in my body, and their thoughts in my mind. I'm an empath.

So it is basically a distraction or noise source that you have to deal with somehow in order to focus on your own activities and purposes?

 

[burningranger]

So it is basically a distraction or noise source that you have to deal with somehow in order to focus on your own activities and purposes?

Very much so. For years I thought there was something wrong with me. I didn't want to be open to the idea of something like that. Mind you I think we all have this to a certain degree since we are all connected...all in the same soup energetically speaking, but some of us are just more sensitive to it. It also explains much of my tendency to try and rescue people. As long as I'm mindful of my thoughts and am fully on my own path (that is things that resonate with me and have been consciously chosen) there isn't much of a problem..but it's kinda all or nothing, so there's no way to fool myself - I'm either thinking my own thoughts or I'm distracting myself in some way.

 

[Flâneuse]

What happens or is happening when that introspection keeps looping? Or, what I see is that decisions are made but the process is being refined internally at each step, to such an extent that Ne gives Fi so many variables (anxiety) that the user stops. To an outsider, the Fi person will say to themselves the destination is still there but let's pull over to the side of the road and read the map. Depending upon how they see that map as opposed to how they saw the trip going, it can be rather grim looking. I mean, reality is sort of grim - not ideal - sometimes. So, rationalization occurs, procrastination.

Yeah, this is a pretty accurate description of how an IxFP can fall into the kind of looping introspection that just digs themselves deeper instead of being constructive. Something triggers the person to seriously question how to move forward (often disappointment from comparing the real situation to the ideal, as you mentioned), they have more trouble than usual finding answers within, and (often while still telling themselves they’re going to continue towards the goal) they just slowly shuffle their feet because they’re not really engaged with or sure of the path they’re taking.

At worst, they can lose external direction completely, having trouble corresponding inner values to any realistic external goal. Reflection becomes a way to put off actually having to act in the world. (When I was looping really badly at one point, reflection actually got way off track from anything relevant to moving forward, and I would just fixate on certain questions and feel an irrational need to answer them to myself before I could do anything else.) And they’re reluctant (if not afraid) to do something real because it seems like nothing they could do in the world could be on par with the ideal. (And nothing truly can be on par with it, but accepting that is the key to getting out of the slump.)

I guess I'm trying to define unhealthy and it piggybacks on what your description is. Do you find this makes sense? (I'm trying to define how I see it from an outsider) and if it does, what is the best way around that? "just do something" is my approach but that doesn't work for NFP's. What would a better more helpful mantra be?

For introverted-looping xxFPs who are really stuck without an apparent path forward, I think a specific variation of “just do something” that might be helpful is (at least, it's worked for me) is: “just get out of your head and do something small, then feel your way forward”. Basically, they don’t have to immediately get way out of their comfort zone or charge towards something huge (and in my experience impulsively making some big change or trying to commit themselves to a huge goal, just out of desperation to jump start their life rather than real passion, will crash later and lead to more discouragement). Take little steps, try some new things, revisit something you used to do, etc., but continue towards and try to see the value in any in-progress commitments, and they’ll eventually encounter things that connect to their Fi and a clearer picture of how to move forward in the long-term in alignment with their values will probably appear. We’re not going to find a big purpose in life by circling around in our heads and doing nothing - we need a balance of exploration and reflection.

Or if the issue isn't that they can't find a goal, but rather that they feel discouraged by how the journey is going compared to how they expected it to:

You get older and wake up, becoming more aware that if you don't start doing something to completion, get out the canvas and use up the paint in the tubes, follow the map even when there are flat tires on the way, that very little of what's in your heart and mind will ever come to manifest in the "real" world. Even if that something can never possibly be perfect and may never completely feel like it was expressed in the way that would be most gratifying or pure to the vision or as helpful as in your mind. Even though that expression could even be interpreted wrongly or badly or used for "wrong" purposes. Big stuff.

^This is essential. The values/inner purpose the xxFP holds so sacred has no chance of actually enriching another's life in a meaningful way if the xxFP never accomplishes anything out of fear of not following them perfectly. An imperfect manifestation of our values is still far more meaningful than nothing.

 

[Flâneuse]

[MENTION=20761]Flâneuse[/MENTION] Would you say Fi is about being able to understand the individual's point of view in a deeper way? A deeper sense of empathy? To put themselves in a person's shoes? I'm curious to hear how you would contrast it with Fe's strengths.

From my understanding, Fi generally takes a more personal, internalized approach to empathy than Fe that could be described as "deeper" and more nuanced, but also has more potential to make assumptions/read things into the other that are off the mark. However, I'm not very well-read about Fe and only have a basic understanding of it so I'm not the person to ask for a detailed comparison/contrast between the two Feeling functions and I definitely don't want to say that either is superior at empathizing. (Eric B's post touches on the subject, and also this Fi vs. Fe thread might be of help.)

As far as Fi itself, I do think that “putting oneself in another’s shoes” is one of its strengths and is a good way to describe its approach to empathy. Because it is an internal function that focuses mainly on the user’s inner experience, in order to empathize with another we tend to explore our own feelings and reactions to something in order to make an educated guess about how others are feeling/internally reacting as well. From my experience and what I’ve gathered from other xxFPs, when empathizing we tend to imagine ourselves in the other’s position, feeling what we imagine it would be like to be in that situation* and use this along with what we know and/or have detected about the other person (patterns in how they tend to react to situations, what they’ve said, how they appear to be feeling, etc.) to piece together an educated guess about what the other is feeling and thinking and why.
(*Different Fi-users use different variations of this process -- I’ve heard a Fi-user say her empathy is more cognitive than emotional and that she instead tries to see from others’ perspectives, to understand others’ feelings and reactions but she doesn’t intensely feel them, and I know an e4 Fi-user whose empathy is so intensely emotional that she internalizes loved ones’ pain to the point that she ends up in more pain than they are. Also, level of empathy obviously varies greatly from person to person and preferring Fi does not automatically make someone empathic.)

Of course, some people just have completely different internal responses to the same kind of event, so there’s always the chance that the xxFP’s own feelings have nothing to do with the feelings of the person they’re trying to understand. An xxFP who is not using their main introverted and extroverted functions in a balanced way, looking inward without actually gathering much outside information (observing, noticing patterns over time, or even just asking) and then incorporating it into their impressions, will likely end up simply projecting their internal experiences onto others rather than moving closer to real understanding. (Basically, from what I’ve experienced with less healthy xxFPs they can have a tendency to wrongly assume they can “see through” others even when they are completely off the mark. This tendency isn’t restricted to Fi, though - for example, unhealthy Ni can cause a person to wrongly but confidently assume they know others’ motives.)

But in general, I don’t think xxFPs are more prone to projecting than other types. IMHO most Fi-users have enough self-awareness to have a realistic degree of doubt about their empathic impressions of others. (I can't speak for other xxFPs, but the way I think of it is that every person is unique and has complexities that can never be perfectly intuited by another, so when I think I understand how someone is feeling and why I also keep in mind it at best it gets the gist but is also missing a lot and/or is filling certain things in incorrectly, and at worst might be completely off the mark.)

This is my 2-cent take on it, anyway. I didn't mean to throw a wall of text at you, but hopefully something here will be useful to you.

 

[burningranger]

In my folly to understand Fi...today I had this car driving session while thinking about it (I do most of my thinking while driving). I got again some intuitive feel for what it might be....and the best way I can describe it is that it entail feeling ... like actually measuring the value of thoughts and considerations on how they feel...to get to that core truth. So for a society that is mostly stuck in our mind....this would by necessity entail a certain degree of mindfulness based on the Fi user:

Which only reinforces my idea that we are NOT for the most part using our aux and dom in the way the books of legend would have us believe. I could see how that "feeling into it to internally catalog it" (my description of Fi so far) is POTENTIALLY a big strenght of mine...but I haven't been using it most of my life...in fact I've been THINKING and philosophizing much more than I do actual feeling. But I can see how feeling would actually be preferential to me. Our society values thinking a lot more than feeling....feeling is a sensual kinda of experience...thinking is our habitual inhabitance of our upper extremity (head).

So I guess the question when determining how much Fi do you actually use would be....what is your true cognitive preference BEYOND what I've been doing for years? i.e. ....what actually WOULD feel most comfortable for you? We are all conditioned to be not-like oureslves at the end of the day. In order to find our TRUE preference...you must come to a certain degree with self-awareness and self-discernment. I don't think being a dom or aux gives you that automatically at all.

 

[Red Memories]

Fi is a feeling function but it is not related to emotions, if that makes any sense.

Feeling functions actually are related to internal ethics. Do you think of the peace of the group or the peace of yourself? Do you surround yourself with like-minded people to prevent conflict or do you take in different ideas and surround yourself with people who may agree or disagree with your perspectives? when you get into conflict are you concerned with the whole or are you concerned with your and the other person's inner peace? That would be Fi vs. Fe. Fe is more group oriented. Fi is about inner peace on ethics. ENFPs tend to take in ideas and may either brush off differences/play devil's advocate, or if they feel very strongly, speak of their belief and bring it clearly to the forefront. INFP is more rigid and slightly less open to ideas different from their perspective, though they will take them in. Fi-dom is pretty stubborn so.