[Type 8] What does an immature or "unredeemed" Sexual Eight look like?

[Azure Flame]

lol, wut

 

[Typh0n]

lol, wut

You are not a victim to your personality patterns. Just because you are s SX eight doesnt mean anything about you as a person, if you really are as bad as you say you are(though I dont know who put it in your head that you are that bad) then "just being that way" is not an excuse.

 

[Azure Flame]

My post was sarcasm. The sense of entitlement in the op made me gag.

 

[Newbyagain]

My post was sarcasm. The sense of entitlement in the op made me gag.

Entitlement? I just reread it and it looks like a statement from a hurting person.

 

[Azure Flame]

Entitlement? I just reread it and it looks like a statement from a hurting person.

Yes. Obviously.

Thanks. I am asking because I want to know, was it okay for someone to dump me, because I didn't meet these supreme standards of beauty and success, because of his type or if he is just immature.

Unfortunately, as already stated, its not up to you to decide who dumps you or not.

Should I just let Fi doms wallow in self deception? Am I being an asshole right now for not allowing this to happen? This is a legit ethical question.

I'll give some life advice on the matter without reading my previous posts to see if I already gave it or not:
Be who you are and say what you mean. The people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind. - Dr Seuss.

 

[Thalassa]

My post was sarcasm. The sense of entitlement in the op made me gag.

Oh thank god.

 

[Thalassa]

Entitlement? I just reread it and it looks like a statement from a hurting person.

Well it's okay for anyone to dump you, and that's what he means by sense of entitlement. I mean, you can't tell someone they aren't allowed to break up with you.

On the other hand, I completely understand what you're saying, your ex sounds like a Cluster B personality waiting to strike, saying he loves you and is suicidal without you but that he, um, deserves someone prettier and more successful; I don't know why you think he's an 8, he seems like an unhealthy 3 to me, very focused on externals for validation even at the expense of his own happiness.

And if I were you, I'd just get as far away from him as possible. In fact, try to look at him breaking up with you as a blessing. Thank him daily.

Just try it.

 

[The Great One]

Thanks. I am asking because I want to know, was it okay for someone to dump me, because I didn't meet these supreme standards of beauty and success, because of his type or if he is just immature. Please don't sweet talk me, but don't be mean either. Also consider, it's not that he just wasn't into me. He fell hard, I even think he was suicidal on occasion from dumping me, but kept insisting that he deserved someone like me, in the sense of being a loving type of family women, but better and much more successful and prettier. He rubbed this other girl in my face and said on a blog he knew I was reading that she was "illuminating," while I was plain. But then he goes right back into despair, blaming, and saying life is so cruel to him and that he made a huge mistake and still hopes for a chance, even though he wont go for it. He is such a fucking, pathetic little boy.

This guy sounds more like an unhealthy 6 to me than an 8.

 

[Newbyagain]

My post was sarcasm. The sense of entitlement in the op made me gag.

I don't think it's a matter of someone having the right or not having the right to dump another. That's not what this is about. Usually it's entitled people who bring up and use the word "rights."

That's great if you are proud of being a Type Eight, but it doesn't make you stronger to magnify it; actually the magnification looks more like little man syndrome.

You are not a victim to your personality patterns. Just because you are s SX eight doesnt mean anything about you as a person, if you really are as bad as you say you are(though I dont know who put it in your head that you are that bad) then "just being that way" is not an excuse.

Exactly.

 

[Evo]

That is so funny, because I have thought the same thing, but I'm sure he is an Eight with a little bit of Four and Five. It seems like everyone who is or was significant in his life, he applies all of these extremely unrealistic selfish, one-sided expectations on them, all while not feeling like he needs to measure up to anyone else's needs, and of course he always has a way of justifying his though, usually blaming it on people who have absolutely nothing to do with where he is now or where he is going. For example, it seems like he over his x-wife and doesn't seem to have ever had strong feelings for her in the first place, which rather than saying they were a bad match, I bet he blames her for that, but years later he still bad mouths her for the failed marriage. Maybe he feels like a failure for getting a divorce, but rather than accepting that we all make mistakes, he has to have someone to blame. I guess that answers my questions, he can't accept me, because he can't accept himself, because he is sick in the head. I hate that guy with a passion. I know you probably think I'm hateful, and I guess I am, but if he got hit by a bus, I would feel so good.

Signs of a 1.

1's anger and 8's anger look the same....but they are for VERY different reasons.

I have not had good encounters with 1's because they're resentful. An 8 will allow someone to prove that they can be a better person and I find it hard to get a 1 to do that.

 

[Newbyagain]

Signs of a 1.

1's anger and 8's anger look the same....but they are for VERY different reasons.

I have not had good encounters with 1's because they're resentful. An 8 will allow someone to prove that they can be a better person and I find it hard to get a 1 to do that.

That is true. I read that ESTPs have reputations for being bitter and resentful though, because they often move on before they resolve issues. I definitely think he has some One in him though, like maybe as a subwing? But I am not familiar with exactly what a subwing is.

 

[Evo]

That is true. I read that ESTPs have reputations for being bitter and resentful though, because they often move on before they resolve issues. I definitely think he has some One in him though, like maybe as a subwing? But I am not familiar with exactly what a subwing is.

Yea I dunno what that is either lol But 1's are fixated on resentment, and an 8's is on vengeance.... but now that I just read everyone else's response he could also be a VERY unhealthy 8 I guess. Was he a Righteous - Seeker (1) or a Power - Seeker?

And then sx is all about beauty...so that could also be what's going on.

I've never met an enneagram 1 sx tho so I don't know what kinda vibes they give off.

Edit: An some ESTP's have a hard time staying committed to one relationship, it's like they need to feed their Se with experience good or bad...and if they're unhealthy mostly bad

 

[Azure Flame]

I don't know what it means to be an unredeemed 8... too many double negatives

Using myself as an example, if I'm unhealthy, I start to look like a cornered animal, and everyone I know becomes an enemy (even friends I've known for a while... this often times serves as a secret cry for help that only they'd understand, because I'm acting unusual). When I'm being immature, I'm finding something I'm better at than you, and I'm going to bump up my ego to a ridiculous extent, explain to you how much better I am than you at something to the point where you're completely pissed off, then I'm going to beat you at it and rub it in your face in whatever way pisses you off the most, so I can watch you suffer.

If I don't care about you in any manner whatsoever, I tend to portray myself as someone mentally unstable who you shouldn't hang around. If I like you, relative to my other behavior, you'd definitely know.

As far as bitter and resentful, I've met more 3's who fit that bill than anything else, and hold grudges. 3's, when unhealthy, get jealous of others' happiness and stop at nothing to end it.

Some of these statements I realized recently.

 

[Azure Flame]

Edit: An some ESTP's have a hard time staying committed to one relationship, it's like they need to feed their Se with experience good or bad...and if they're unhealthy mostly bad

Biggest reason I leave relationships is because they're not a challenge. There's no struggle. Worst thing you could do to me in a relationship is smother me and "always be there for me."

as an estp, I need an enemy in my life at all times. A sparring partner who I can respect. as an 8... well... that just makes things worse. I think 7's just get bored because they're scared if they settle they'll miss out on another better opportunity. The E8 reasons are different.

 

[Evo]

Biggest reason I leave relationships is because they're not a challenge. There's no struggle. Worst thing you could do to me in a relationship is smother me and "always be there for me."

as an estp, I need an enemy in my life at all times. A sparring partner who I can respect. as an 8... well... that just makes things worse. I think 7's just get bored because they're scared if they settle they'll miss out on another better opportunity. The E8 reasons are different.

Yea I've only met unhealthy ESTP 7's. :/ But the E8's I've met are more like confrontational on the outside then once ur in, ur kinda in. Unless u betray them some way. And then they may go a lil out of their way to take revenge and make u feel stupid (usually verbal by girls), or physically make u feel inferior (usually guys) But then it subsides. Unlike an E1 where they have long term resentment and they're anger is because ur not good enough or aren't righteous enough to be up to standards.

 

[Newbyagain]

Biggest reason I leave relationships is because they're not a challenge. There's no struggle. Worst thing you could do to me in a relationship is smother me and "always be there for me."

as an estp, I need an enemy in my life at all times. A sparring partner who I can respect. as an 8... well... that just makes things worse. I think 7's just get bored because they're scared if they settle they'll miss out on another better opportunity. The E8 reasons are different.

My former battalion commander was an ESTP 7-8-3. He is married to a Type 2 ISFJ, so other words, she has the "always be there for you" mindset and he aint going nowhere. You can tell they are so filled with love for each other. He just eats up her love like a little boy.