I have a strong attraction to INTJs. The best friend I ever had was an INTJ. I'm a fan of reality television competitions (shut up) and I always find myself rooting for the INTJ (there is often at least one for some reason, usually male). Every time I think I have found an INTJ it makes me happy and excited. Currently I have a big crush on an INTJ and I'm trying to win him over. Last week I went to a party, and it was redeemed only by the fact that I met an INTJ girl and we talked for two hours (with blissfully comfortable silences).
Okay, hope I have established just how much I like INTJs. They're my favorite people. Here is why:
- They are confident. Yes it may cross over into arrogance but as has been said, it's a harmless arrogance. There's no meanness or vindictiveness, nothing personal at all, it's just they're right. It's not even "I'm Right and come across as desperate to prove you wrong" (something I associate with INTPs, sorry). It's "I'm right, don't care really about you one way or the other".
- They may be confident of their ideas, but they are often not so confident socially, although this may not show. I'm not so happy with social things either, and I've had difficulty with superficial relationships and small talk. Thankfully, INTJs place little value on such things and so do I. We don't have to talk about BS, or pretend we care more than we do, or have fake relationships.
- They are curious and eager to learn, and they can be driven when it comes to improvement. It could always be better, from their point of view. I respect and admire this. This means if I am friends with one or in a romantic relationship, and things aren't going so well, they will make efforts to improve. It won't be as sensitive and touchy-feely as I'd probably like, and this is a lesson I learned the hard way with my best friend. I was too clingy, too unsure of his affection for me because I'd been rejected by other people and he didn't show his emotions in a way I could identify. But I've learned from that, and it leads me to my next point.
- They aren't really phased by other people's emotions. They aren't overwhelmed and they don't place too significant a weight on feelings. Now I know this can cause problems, but it's also a welcome attitude. When I occasionally rant and rave, they take it in stride. Not like INFJs who become emotionally overwhelmed and withdraw. I can talk about anything with an INTJ.
- I now understand that if an INTJ wants to spend time with you or talk to you much at all, then assume that they like you and be secure in that. Because they don't see the need to pretend to like people unless it can improve the INTJ's situation in some way. So the next time I have a close INTJ friend, I'll try not to be so insecure.
- They can debate without making personal judgements. Now I admit I don't often win debates with INTJs, but it is invigorating nonetheless. I think most INFPs really like a good debate, but it's hard to find people who will debate you without thinking you're a bad person if you disagree, or using unfair tactics.
- They can talk about the same thing for hours, and follow intuitive leaps/connections. Long, sometimes stimulating conversations ensue. I admit that a lot of times the conversations aren't really memorable because there is no emotional content, but I like it anyway. Like the INTJ girl I talked to at the party. We talked about a lot of things, or rather, she told me her opinions on things and I listened and asked questions to draw her out. That was relaxing, no pressure communication.
- They have goals and ambitions, and can envision a future for themselves. So I don't have to do that for them, which is a relief. They don't pressure me to be anything other than what I am.
- They have deep values that I can sense, although they don't express this. I pick up on the introverted Feeling in them. It gives them a sense of stability that I perceive. I like the stability and predictability. I really like that, actually.
- They can be ingenious, imaginative, and innovative. This is what I observe on the reality shows. People tend to not like them and gang up on them, and the INTJ is always mystified by this, but still stays brilliant, creative and driven. This helps them to either win the competition or come close, even if nobody likes them in the end.
- They can be good with people if they want to be. It's the strong sense of purpose, intuition and the hidden undercurrent of self. The INTJ I'm interested in dating always greets everyone, has a smile for everyone (such a warm smile too) and always asks me how I'm doing (many people don't even notice me). And he's so smart too. But I digress.
Actually, this is getting really long, but I guess the point is I think highly of INTJs.