[ISTP] What are female ISTPs like in a relationship?

[StephMC]

I imagine they're pretty cool. Just invest in a sturdy bed and avoid combustibles.

+1,000,000.

 

[mcmartinez84]

Judging from this, ISTP women are probably pretty awesome in relationships.

I friggin' try!

Y'know, as long as it's constructive negative feedback... Not like I'm asking for a hate parade

To expand on the OP's questions... I value someone that helps me grow and introduces me to new ideas/concepts/interests that appeal to me. Someone I can have intelligent conversations with about things that interest me is a must. I value someone that respects my discomfort for "feelings" and encourage me or back off when necessary. I like it when people anticipate my needs, but I also like it when they verify it with me anyways. I need a good mixture of patience, easy-going, lowkey, understanding, confident, good at making decisions, and outgoing. So whatever type that is. I have a strong disgust for extreme arrogance though.

Lol, I agree once again! I can't handle the pressure for feelings.

One thing I've noticed over the years is that I hate it when people make decisions for me. And by that I mean that "Oh, I was going to ask but I didn't think you'd want to go/thought you were busy..." kinda stuff. Fuck what you thought. Ask me and find out. I appreciate it, kthxbai. You don't get credit for things you thought about asking.

/rant

 

[runvardh]

I imagine they're pretty cool. Just invest in a sturdy bed and avoid combustibles.

Sturdy bed I could see, but avoid combustables? What if I like burning shit too?

 

[Grungemouse]

I dont offer things just to be objective when it comes to people, if you make sense then I will be supportive. With people I am not always objective in the manner you described, give me something like a political topic, speech, seminar, etc and my objectivity will come out. I will become very objective and work to debunk every little assumption that had to be made to reach a conclusion. They are trying to convince people of things and they will provide as much information as possible in support of what they say that I just have this urge to drop the "drama" that it creates several notches.

Ah, okay then. That makes sense, because I only verbalise my frustrations when I really feel justified to. I never defer to her over everyday things. She is objective when it comes to topical matters and refuses to take things at face value; she likes to figure things out for herself and question how the speaker came to their conclusion. It was just the full-blown display of support with no hint of objectivity that through me. Then again, I have a habit of only seeing speculative questions as being unbias, when it's probably more of an INTP thing. I don't think puzzling over the "what ifs" is something an ISTP would do.

Thanks for answering.

 

[Randomnity]

Okay, I have a question.

ITP types are known for their objective thinking, right? So if I were to rant about someone/something to my ISTP, naturally, she would offer another perspective on the matter? Just to be objective? Whereas an ISFP would be all-out supportive, emphasizing my needs and how dare the other person be so rude? Well, my ISTP is more the latter. She always takes my side, never seeming to weigh up the information objectively. Unless TiSe is less into evalutation than TiNe? Would ISTPs offer support to their partner, regardless?

It's just that even when I try to be supportive, I always end up trying to justify the people she defers to me about. I'm not a very good bitching-buddy. I'm just confused about her type, basically.

I am like this and I'm 90% sure I'm not an F.

I've just learned that it serves no purpose to point out the other person's point of view, other than very mildly. The person complaining to you will just get angry/more upset. T doesn't mean you have to be a brutal socially awkward robot, as some Ts here will discover later in life.

 

[mcmartinez84]

I am like this and I'm 90% sure I'm not an F.

I've just learned that it serves no purpose to point out the other person's point of view, other than very mildly. The person complaining to you will just get angry/more upset. T doesn't mean you have to be a brutal socially awkward robot, as some Ts here will discover later in life.

lol, you're so right.

I just let T take over most of the time. I really do try to be more sensitive, but it's gotta be someone I care about...someone whose feelings I care about. I'm much better now than I was before at saying "Now, this isn't what *I* think, but this might be where s/he is coming from..." Hopefully I reinforce that it's not my view and I state my perspective and reaffirm that I'm on their side (y'know, if that's the case).

Sometimes it's just hard for me to care and I want the person to shut up. Not so often in a relationship. I don't mind listening to them most of the time, especially if it's a big deal to them. I'd want to be listened to. I should shut up and listen in return.

 

[Grungemouse]

My standards are pretty extreme, I'll admit. "What's this? They cracked a smile? In public? Without any sense of irony? Must be a Feeler." I am supportive whenever she defers to me, though. Not so much on the emotional side, but I like to brainstorm a range of ways to solve her problems. We both flail about a little with purely personal/emotional stuff, anyway.

...What's funny about your post is that we both call ourselves, "socially awkward and secretly autistic robots".

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

One thing I've noticed over the years is that I hate it when people make decisions for me. And by that I mean that "Oh, I was going to ask but I didn't think you'd want to go/thought you were busy..." kinda stuff. Fuck what you thought. Ask me and find out. I appreciate it, kthxbai. You don't get credit for things you thought about asking.

/rant

Oh yeah. It always ends up being something that you would've blown other stuff off to do! :steam:

I've just learned that it serves no purpose to point out the other person's point of view, other than very mildly. The person complaining to you will just get angry/more upset. T doesn't mean you have to be a brutal socially awkward robot, as some Ts here will discover later in life.

Yup. I'd say the more I know and like you the more supportive I am. However, I don't think that means my objectivity lessens. My ability to keep from voicing it does. I wouldn't voice my own opinion as it's not my life to chime in on and I like to give the people I like freedom to approach their issues in the way they see fit first. Then if the person wants my honest and objective advice I'll gladly give it.

The less I like you or if I just don't care one way or the other? I'll just listen and maybe throw out a quick common sense fix to your dilemma. If the conversation persists I'll try to change the subject quickly or walk away.

 

[mcmartinez84]

Oh yeah. It always ends up being something that you would've blown other stuff off to do! :steam:

No kidding! Is it so hard to just ask?

 

[McRumi]

My experience is that ISTPs give advice support conditioned by the "stickiness" factor. If there is any hint of getting bogged down in endless discussion, short non-committal responses are the norm. If a friendship exists but ISTP doesn't agree with the friend's position, it's usually an objective response if they know the friend can handle it..otherwise fall back position is the short non-committal response or silence.

You can tell if an ISTP is in agreement with your position and supportive because then they will swing into full problem-solving mode and become virtual Joan of Arc's to solve the problem.

Their response is ALWAYS related to how quickly they can get into problem-solving mode. If no avenue is seen, shut down occurs and problem solving is taken within while the other person babbles on...(hence the famous ISTP empty stare)... if they haven't already found a physical escape route out of the room itself.

 

[mcmartinez84]

You can tell if an ISTP is in agreement with your position and supportive because then they will swing into full problem-solving mode and become virtual Joan of Arc's to solve the problem.

I'd say that's a fair assessment!

(the rest of it too, but that in particular)

 

[Grungemouse]

My experience is that ISTPs give advice support conditioned by the "stickiness" factor. If there is any hint of getting bogged down in endless discussion, short non-committal responses are the norm. If a friendship exists but ISTP doesn't agree with the friend's position, it's usually an objective response if they know the friend can handle it..otherwise fall back position is the short non-committal response or silence.

You can tell if an ISTP is in agreement with your position and supportive because then they will swing into full problem-solving mode and become virtual Joan of Arc's to solve the problem.

Their response is ALWAYS related to how quickly they can get into problem-solving mode. If no avenue is seen, shut down occurs and problem solving is taken within while the other person babbles on...(hence the famous ISTP empty stare)... if they haven't already found a physical escape route out of the room itself.

This is a relief to read (especially the part in bold) and this applies to the ISTP I'm with perfectly. With people she doesn't care as much for, but knows they're more sensitive, so she throws empty words of, "Everything will be all right", even though she doesn't mean it. This is purely towards people who moan for the saking of moaning and don't seem open to a solution to their problem. With them, she soon switches off and ignores them.

What amazes me is how interested she seems about everything I have to say. She was so excited when she heard about my new piercing. She even named it for me.

 

[Walking Tourist]

Oh, you don't even have to spend a lot of money on me. If you buy me an ice cream cone and we sit down and tell funny stories, I'm just as happy as if you've taken me to an expensive restaurant.

They're like most other sensor women: "Spend money on me or i won't feel loved."

c'mon, tell me I'm wrong! fight me!

 

[mcmartinez84]

This is a relief to read (especially the part in bold) and this applies to the ISTP I'm with perfectly. With people she doesn't care as much for, but knows they're more sensitive, so she throws empty words of, "Everything will be all right", even though she doesn't mean it. This is purely towards people who moan for the saking of moaning and don't seem open to a solution to their problem. With them, she soon switches off and ignores them.

What amazes me is how interested she seems about everything I have to say. She was so excited when she heard about my new piercing. She even named it for me.

She doesn't just *seem* interested. I bet she really is.

 

[Snuggletron]

after initial reservedness and not talking to you much they seem to be pretty blunt and seemingly unaware that it may come off as rude (because it's usually an attempt to help so why are you upset about it?). the ones I've met are very sweet besides this, but I think it can sometimes be a sugar coat to cover up their cold-blooded, grey, and clammy-skinned bodies.

 

[mcmartinez84]

after initial reservedness and not talking to you much they seem to be pretty blunt and seemingly unaware that it may come off as rude (because it's usually an attempt to help so why are you upset about it?).

I'm aware (after many years of being this way) that I come off as rude, but I don't usually know what I've done to be rude. I don't mean to be that way. Of course over 99% of the population doesn't have the balls to say "that comment hurt my feelings"... Ergo, we don't always know what to watch out for.

Do your part and tell the emperor he's not wearing any clothes. Preferably nicely since some of us actually have a sensitive ego.

the ones I've met are very sweet besides this, but I think it can sometimes be a sugar coat to cover up their cold-blooded, grey, and clammy-skinned bodies.

 

[Snuggletron]

I'm aware (after many years of being this way) that I come off as rude, but I don't usually know what I've done to be rude. I don't mean to be that way. Of course over 99% of the population doesn't have the balls to say "that comment hurt my feelings"... Ergo, we don't always know what to watch out for.

Do your part and tell the emperor he's not wearing any clothes. Preferably nicely since some of us actually have a sensitive ego.

yeah, I'm not saying you ISTPs aren't aware, it would just seem that way to a lot of people (maybe the 99% you're referencing). The way an istp communicates can sometimes be misinterpreted as serious and biting to the sensitive, even though it's usually just a less watered down and less winded form of communication. Once someone can differentiate honest and/or helpful criticism from a jest or an insult feelings shouldn't get hurt anymore. I used to not be able to tell the difference when I was a kid and take things personally, but now I understand it and find myself doing it too. Still though, communication should generally be an equal effort for harmony and understanding for both parties (no matter what type).

don't be so blue, who wouldn't want a candy-covered istp woman around?

 

[chocolateturtl]

I'm actually really not like the typical ISTP when it comes to cuddly-ness. I love cuddling and PDA's (well...not making out or anything, but holding hands, small kisses, etc.) And I'm actually pretty in-touch with my emotions, but sometimes I suppose I can be insensitive. It doesn't happen often although my INFP( I THINK that's what his type is) boyfriend says that I don't get his when we're in a fight. I dunno. It's funny because he's always on about being 'logical' when I'm upset about something, then I think about it and realize that he's right and I'm not upset anymore. Then somehow, he becomes very 'illogical' and emotional and talks to me in analogies and metaphors, which I have a hard time associating with. I really think we need to continue to work on our communication skillz.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

I'm aware (after many years of being this way) that I come off as rude, but I don't usually know what I've done to be rude. I don't mean to be that way. Of course over 99% of the population doesn't have the balls to say "that comment hurt my feelings"... Ergo, we don't always know what to watch out for.

Do your part and tell the emperor he's not wearing any clothes. Preferably nicely since some of us actually have a sensitive ego.

+1

Nicely said.

 

[Salomé]

Okay, I have a question.

ITP types are known for their objective thinking, right? So if I were to rant about someone/something to my ISTP, naturally, she would offer another perspective on the matter? Just to be objective? Whereas an ISFP would be all-out supportive, emphasizing my needs and how dare the other person be so rude? Well, my ISTP is more the latter. She always takes my side, never seeming to weigh up the information objectively. Unless TiSe is less into evalutation than TiNe? Would ISTPs offer support to their partner, regardless?

It's just that even when I try to be supportive, I always end up trying to justify the people she defers to me about. I'm not a very good bitching-buddy. I'm just confused about her type, basically.

I'm interested in your unusual perspective here. What other differences have you observed between ISTP women and INTP women? So far, this is the only thing that stands out. I.e. Ns being more impersonal/objective.