Do you ever Want to befriend someone, if so, do you ever put in the effort to hang out with them more often or find time to spend with them? Do you often try to invite them out or wait for the other person to ask instead?
Only very few times I've wanted to befriend someone actively. To me, it feels very odd and uncomfortable. In pretty much all of my friendships, I let the other person or people approach me first and progress the friendship actively; I just gladly help them along if they try. So I'm not used to
pursuing friendship, I'm passive about it. That's why it feels odd, almost romantic, to try to initiate friendship. Completely the wrong dynamic.
The few times it has come up, that I've met someone (in class, for example) who seemed really cool and who I'd want to get to know, I didn't do anything myself, even though I wanted to be friends with the guy and was intrigued. If it formed, it was because he wanted to be friends, too.
Are you usually kind and say things out of politeness instead of what you really think? (like compliments and such)
I don't say things I don't mean out of politeness, not really. However, I often exaggerate my interest or express it more vividly for the sake of conversation. In that sense, I feel like I'm being "polite". My natural state is not to be interested in conversations with strangers, plus I'm generally not as enthusiastic about things as most people. Hard to thrill me. So to help conversation actually flourish, I may augment my actual interest or feeling, you know? But not by lying.
If someone were annoying you, would you ever confront them about it? What would you do if you didn't like someone's company and yet they kept trying to talk to you?
Assuming you're talking about annoying people who want to be my friends, and not just annoying people in general. No, I probably wouldn't "confront" them, when they're just trying to be friends. If they're impossible to tolerate, I'll just find ways to get away from them, and eventually ways to get rid of them completely. If it were to get really bad, maybe I'd have a talk with them, but it's hard to lose all sympathy when I know they're just trying to be friendly.
Once we're established friends, if they annoy me, I let them know. Meaning, I ask them to stop, and if that doesn't work, then I tell them to stop. It's much easier to communicate this and be straightforward once we understand each other as friends, and are not still in the getting acquainted phase.
Do you share personal thoughts often? Would you feel threatened/annoyed if it seemed like someone kept asking about your personal life?
I guess I don't really share my personal thoughts often, but I notice that doing so is a good way to foster conversation, even small talk, so I may put some out there. When a stranger starts talking about my personal life, I feel pretty uncomfortable, yeah. I'd ease in slowly, not being too specific. If too personal, I might just avoid answering altogether. But really, if I want to be friends with the person, I'll try to share slowly, bit by bit. I don't spill my whole life the first day (or even the first week or month) I know someone.
Do you trust your friends easily, how do they gain your trust?
This is kind of a hard one to answer. I generally always give people the benefit of the doubt unless they prove over time that I can't trust them. I am still cautious in my expectations and don't expect everyone to fall into my code of decent conduct, I instead account for that beforehand. Trust and especially loyalty are natural things for me, they're easy. And the more my friends support me, the more I trust them (which seems to me vague enough to be true for most people's views on their friends, really).
Maybe you mean how friends gain my trust to be more open with them. It just takes time and consistent consideration for my values and efforts. Proving themselves over time.
How long does it take for you to open up and feel comfortable around a friend? What kinds of people do you open up to easier or gravitate towards?
Depends how quickly the friend opens up to me, and how deep we get. I guess about 3 to 6 months...? No particular kinds have preference, I think.
What do you enjoy most about your friends? What kind of qualities do you like in your friendship?
Just someone to laugh with, someone to talk with about usual and unusual, important and unimportant things all, someone who has my back, etc. Can't think of specifics here... Interesting last question, I'm not sure what I preferably want in my friendship. One thing I lack is being able to discuss intellectual topics in depth with friends, which is just one of my hobbies and not one of theirs, for the most part; also not being completely open with any one friend, with them each knowing about 90% of me, in different overlapping parts. But I may prefer the last thing, anyway.
What qualities do you Not like in your friendships? Any deal-breakers?
Not respecting my values and decisions (disagreeing is fine, belittling and mocking is not), maybe exposing secrets or something I confided in them. These would be the worst crimes, I'd just stop talking to them totally. As for milder offenses, I'm not as sure. For example, lack of confidence isn't a friend dealbreaker. Cynicism isn't even by itself a dealbreaker. People are different, and I give a lot of leeway in my friendships, much more than in relationships, I suppose.
How do you usually act when you're having a good time? How do you usually act when you're having a bad time?
Again, keep in mind that it's rare to get me thrilled about anything. So usually, "good time" refers to "content, satisfied, comfortable" and not "ecstatic", whereas "bad time" can range from "uncomfortable, anxious" to "annoyed, stressed" to "spazzed" or worse.
Anyway, calm and neutral need not be considered a bad mood coming from me, and usually in a good mood I'll be joking around a little bit. A bad mood sees me get quieter and more distant / avoidant. When I'm angry I shut up completely, sometimes putting in jabs. If it's really bad, especially under stress or pressure (could be social pressure, pressure you're putting on me, even), I could spaz out and look ridiculous going on a rant. (But mock rants can also be humor, sorry to confuse you.) When I'm feeling uncomfortable or miserable, I'll just follow around with a downer-face, wishing I were somewhere else, trying to find ways to get out of there. If forced to be there, I may start whining, too.
If your friends had a totally different view on something that you believed to be important and right, would you think of them differently?
Slightly, I suppose, but I wouldn't re-evaluate our friendship in any degree, in most cases.
Do you ever feel like you have certain obligations to your friends and try to fulfill them? Or do you usually do it because you want to?
As I said, "obligation" just comes naturally to me. It's default mode, because I want to be there for my friends. Sometimes my introversion does get the better of me, and I rationalize ways not to "be there" for them in some degree, I guess. What kind of "obligations" did you have in mind? With friends, I would expect it to always be out of genuine desires. But as for friendship that is still developing, I don't know.
In turn, do you usually have any expectations of your friends? What if they don't fulfill them?
Another hard question. I don't have many stringent expectations of my friends. Just the basics that I kind of covered already, I think.