nynesneg
New member
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2009
- Messages
- 357
- MBTI Type
- ENFJ
- Enneagram
- 3w2
I'm so frustrated. On the verge of desperation today for advice. (but I also had <2 hrs sleep for finals last night) Generally I just view situations from the perspective an external problem solver but this is becoming more.
I don't have time to post the entire story but will update with scenario tonight.
In short, what do you know about the team dynamic of an unhealthy insecure INFJ + ENFJ?
I have been going to class with this woman every day for the past 8 months, and noticed we have a ton of things in common and potential for friendship. So have been trying to be-friend her, but of course it's very hard for her to open up. She's been through some abuse and is bipolar, but a darling and intelligent.
Recently seems like no matter what I say she takes it the wrong way. I don't know if I intimidate her, but she's accomplished all kinds of things I admire too and I've told her so. I have no clue what to do with her, as generally I connect or at least understand where most people are coming from if I take the effort to.
My friends would probably type me as a healthy ENFJ (although there's always room for growth and learning), but I'm wondering if our inner negative traits are echoing off each other and creating massive misunderstandings? I would just ignore the situation but we are on a team together this semester and anytime I say (or don't say!) anything it just seems to get worse that apparently I "cop an attitude" when I'm thinking, and today she said I'm "the most condescending and judgmental person ever met". !!
So sad! Not at all what my other friends have ever said, so I just don't get it... I'm just trying to be her friend. I've figured out recently she just needs her space but even then if I don't make an effort to be her friend everything I say is viewed as an insult. Even apologies!
Third friend in group is ISFP who said I think too much. Both INFJ and I are very detail oriented...
I don't have time to post the entire story but will update with scenario tonight.
In short, what do you know about the team dynamic of an unhealthy insecure INFJ + ENFJ?
I have been going to class with this woman every day for the past 8 months, and noticed we have a ton of things in common and potential for friendship. So have been trying to be-friend her, but of course it's very hard for her to open up. She's been through some abuse and is bipolar, but a darling and intelligent.
Recently seems like no matter what I say she takes it the wrong way. I don't know if I intimidate her, but she's accomplished all kinds of things I admire too and I've told her so. I have no clue what to do with her, as generally I connect or at least understand where most people are coming from if I take the effort to.
My friends would probably type me as a healthy ENFJ (although there's always room for growth and learning), but I'm wondering if our inner negative traits are echoing off each other and creating massive misunderstandings? I would just ignore the situation but we are on a team together this semester and anytime I say (or don't say!) anything it just seems to get worse that apparently I "cop an attitude" when I'm thinking, and today she said I'm "the most condescending and judgmental person ever met". !!
So sad! Not at all what my other friends have ever said, so I just don't get it... I'm just trying to be her friend. I've figured out recently she just needs her space but even then if I don't make an effort to be her friend everything I say is viewed as an insult. Even apologies!
Third friend in group is ISFP who said I think too much. Both INFJ and I are very detail oriented...