Type 4: Stereotypes

[Animal]

I changed my type-label to 4w3 and I know I'm right this time.
It's likely that because of this label
Many people won't see me as I am.
The stereotype for 8w7 is closer to the way I am
(Though it has nothing to do with what 8 is really about)
and when people see '4w3' they might imagine some weak pussy that needs to be rescued
and wallows in pain feeling sorry for herself all day
and that is not me.

I am strong
self-reliant; I am my own hero
I'm a leader and a visionary
and I will do anything to live my dreams, and I work hard,
and I have a passion and a purpose
I can kick the ass of any guy twice my size
I defended other kids from bullies when I was young
I am always in charge, because I am only interested in working on projects that are my own vision
and I need to be autonomous, so if I live in an apartment I, alone am on the lease,
and collect everyone's rent,
this way I'm in control
I'm physically fit and strong despite chronic illness
I fought for my life and survived many traumas
I don't expect others to solve my problems for me
I pour my emotions into my music and writing and I don't burden my friends with my deep issues

I am not some whining, self-pitying fool
and this is not how I think of type 4
I loved type 4, before I typed, because my most beloved exes are 4s, and my musical idols
I know the strength of the type
To me, strength is autonomy, integrity, being true to yourself
and being able to be vulnerable.
But when you label yourself '4w3' you're speaking a language and others might read:
"weak, envious crying whining wimpy pussy who needs to be rescued."

If someone misreads me
or doesn't like me
or doesn't see my strength for this stupid reason, their loss.
But it pisses me off, on behalf of all 4s, that the typing might carry these implications
because they aren't true, and have nothing to do with what 4 is about.
No type is strong and no type is weak.
The type is where we start and strength is in what we do with it.
I hate stereotypes.

if anyone pities me
or tries to rescue me
I will bite their head off
and they will say "damn you must be a mistyped 8"
and I will bite it harder
and say "Bitch, 4s can be BADASS too."

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

Thanks for posting this.

As we've discussed prior, this was a major reason I couldn't see myself as a core 4, hence my many years of mistyping.

I have struggled with "wallowing" in it and feeling sorry for myself...yet I've always seen this as something profound that needs to be experienced in order to be gotten over. I've never thought I needed a "savior" to come "rescue" me. Indeed, I would be insulted by the very idea. I can handle my own problems.

Moreover, I've only seen the self-pity come out when I am existentially bored, and my own boredom is pretty much the reason for it in the first place. When I am dealing with Real Life, it seldom plays a role.

I was extremely hesitant to type as a 4 (indeed, there are whole sections that are antithetical to my self-image) for specifically the reasons you have mentioned--I am not a hypersensitive weakling looking for someone to depend on who collapses when dealing with "real life". My emotions do not define me--they simply need to be respected and dealt with rather than repressed and back-burnered.

I have survived abandonment and betrayal during a severe, years-long illness while trapped in a 3rd world country with no resources. You don't see me crying about this--you see me at my best, determined to turn the tables on life. While I do rehash this issue often, it is simply used as fuel for a brighter tomorrow rather than as something someone needs to "save" me from. I control my own life and destiny, and I am eminently certain of my capacity to succeed at this.

I know I am a core 4 due to my inner sense of isolation, separateness, and defectiveness, to which I have reacted quite strongly at times. Yet, this does not make me weak. It does not make me another type.

I am a 4, and whatever opinions others might hold of this "poor, suffering" type, I am content to accept. It is only to their disadvantage.

Thanks Animal.

 

[Animal]

"I have struggled with "wallowing" in it and feeling sorry for myself...yet I've always seen this as something profound that needs to be experienced in order to be gotten over. I've never thought I needed a "savior" to come "rescue" me. Indeed, I would be insulted by the very idea. I can handle my own problems."

==> this is the same for me. When I say I'm not self-pitying or wallowing.. what I mean is, I don't make a show of it. I do, in the sense that I channel it into my creative work and then show my work. But I don't walk around complaining. That doesn't mean I don't feel tremendous pain, and delve into it. I absolutely do. I just prefer to OWN my pain rather than let it own me.

 

[Animal]

"I have survived abandonment and betrayal during a severe, years-long illness while trapped in a 3rd world country with no resources. You don't see me crying about this--you see me at my best, determined to turn the tables on life. While I do rehash this issue often, it is simply used as fuel for a brighter tomorrow rather than as something someone needs to "save" me from. I control my own life and destiny, and I am eminently certain of my capacity to succeed at this."

====> This sounds so much like me.. "Determined to turn the tables on life" - exactly! "Control my own life and destiny" - that's part of why I mistyped at 8, because 8s are said to insist upon controlling their own destiny, just as I do.

By the way I am starting to strongly consider 4w5. :O