[NF] Top 3 reasons for why NFs suck...

[Varelse]

3) They lack the tactical eye to reverse their good behaviour or their message to incite the correct outcome in a given situation. Instead they try to perform everything by speaking truthfully, openly and honestly, even when the other party would except a measure of deception, and allow it.

That's not what I've seen. I've seen more of an NF being dishonest in an attempt to please or "suck up to" another party.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

That's not what I've seen. I've seen more of an NF being dishonest in an attempt to please or "suck up to" another party.

I dont consider the NF appeal to emotions as any great scheme. I mean, appealing to emotions, it isn't lieing. It can only effect if the target person prioritizes emotions over logic.

Many people even want to decide by F. So I dont consider their expression style as a way to decieve.

To me, NF influencing style draws from the known and unknown feelings of the people whom the decision might affect. I think it is accepted that there are charismatic speakers and lobbyers who try to influence the public to accept their cause. I think it can be dishonest only, if the person advocating some cause hides his/her loyalties.

Now that I think of it (environmentalists, political campaigners, etc), NF do indeed bend the facts, but I tend to believe that their efforts have been sincere. Maybe that's where the NF influence lies in, by influencing with charisma and their supposed good nature. I just find it so hard not to forgive NFs.

That, if true, is masterful manipulation.

 

[Kaveri]

Santtu, I think your list is refreshingly accurate compared to most people's lists here.

(Plus your list is more flattering, because I don't see those as very shameful drawbacks.)

 

[Totenkindly]

Santtu, I think your list is refreshingly accurate compared to most people's lists here.

I like his list as well, especially #1.

 

[JivinJeffJones]

Where to start? There are so many, how can I pick just 3, let alone the top 3? It's too much to expect of any self-disrespecting INFP. Thus: my list of 3 significant (though not top) reasons why NFs suck.

1. Frequently compromise "lesser values" in the pursuit of harmony, and even more frequently stifle potentially constructive debate/discussion for the same reason.

2. As has been mentioned, not known for their ability to produce dark humour, though they may well enjoy it.

3. Frequently take themselves far too seriously.

 

[heart]

Where to start? There are so many, how can I pick just 3, let alone the top 3? It's too much to expect of any self-disrespecting INFP. Thus: my list of 3 significant (though not top) reasons why NFs suck.

1. Frequently compromise "lesser values" in the pursuit of harmony, and even more frequently stifle potentially constructive debate/discussion for the same reason.

I see everywhere INFP and INFJ critcized for NOT being willing to compromise lesser values in the pursuit of harmony.

 

[Varelse]

I see everywhere INFP and INFJ critcized for NOT being willing to compromise lesser values in the pursuit of harmony.

Maybe it's more related to E?

 

[JivinJeffJones]

I see everywhere INFP and INFJ critcized for NOT being willing to compromise lesser values in the pursuit of harmony.

Maybe I'm overly sensitive to it because of my INFPness. Work that one out.

 

[digesthisickness]

1. every comment at the bottom of the page that was posted in response to this article that was brought to us via ivy.

 

[proteanmix]

3) They lack the tactical eye to reverse their good behaviour or their message to incite the correct outcome in a given situation. Instead they try to perform everything by speaking truthfully, openly and honestly, even when the other party would except a measure of deception, and allow it.

I'm the staff liaison for a committee that I haven't got a clue about. The last liaison was horrible, didn't keep decent records and documentation so I'm basically flying blind. My job recently had our committee meetings and I had to present information that I didn't have to the committee members.

When I approached my supervisors about this problem I was told to LIE. Yes that's right, they said lie and say that I had information that I didn't have and basically bullshit my way through the committee members questions. I agreed wholeheartedly and was very much prepared to spin a wonderful tale. It was magnificent.

Then my committee members started asking the questions I anticipated, I opened my mouth and dammit out came the TRUTH. I said we have very little documentation for the last five years of the committee said I'm sorry and shrugged my shoulders. Then the chair said, that's OK, I kept everything and here are my minutes and some other important stuff that I really needed.

There's really no point to what I just said (I think I may be proving your point), only that my ass has been saved more often by just telling the truth than by lying. I think in some situations where lying would be the smartest and optimal thing to do, people can sense that by just telling the truth when it would have been better to lie, is actually a better strategic move because most people would've just lied. You put yourself in a position where you're asking people to recognize that you took the "high road" when it was the dumbest thing to do. You're putting your neck on the chopping block and then making big puppy dog eyes and asking for mercy. It's been my experience that people tend to be lenient in these situations.

 

[CzeCze]

Wow, do NF's really like poking at people???

"3. Poke! What will he do this time? Poke....Yes that got her going! Poke...hmmmm that didn't work. Poke-nudge-Poke Now that was a great reaction it was worth the wait!............... HEY!!! Stop picking on me back-JERK!"

Wow, I thought this was just ME because I'm a little ADD (also an ENF trait?) and I like seeing how people tick. I really used to try to get a reaction from people, to see if and when and how they got angry, what they were passionate about, etc. And it's true, sometimes it backfires because you 'poke' and you succeed in getting a rise from someone, but then they STAY TRULY ANGRY at you and don't like you as much!

Hahahaha, it's an NF curse.

 

[Athenian200]

More:

1. Feel attacked when someone disagrees with you.

2. Have trouble seeing a comment as an observation rather than a compliment or insult.

3. May attempt to manipulate people's emotions to achieve something, or simply as a defense mechanism. (Although I feel bad about it if I do this.)

 

[proteanmix]

"3. Poke! What will he do this time? Poke....Yes that got her going! Poke...hmmmm that didn't work. Poke-nudge-Poke Now that was a great reaction it was worth the wait!............... HEY!!! Stop picking on me back-JERK!"

Wow, I thought this was just ME because I'm a little ADD (also an ENF trait?) and I like seeing how people tick. I really used to try to get a reaction from people, to see if and when and how they got angry, what they were passionate about, etc. And it's true, sometimes it backfires because you 'poke' and you succeed in getting a rise from someone, but then they STAY TRULY ANGRY at you and don't like you as much!

Hahahaha, it's an NF curse.

Literally: I like to poke people in their belly buttons, but once I poked one of my coworker's in her belly button and she got a little too so I issued myself Cease and Desist order until find a less invasive way of getting a rise.

Figuratively: I like to poke people and sometimes they get mad at me, then I'm like I probably shouldn't have done that, but meh. I get bored easily.

 

[Athenian200]

Literally: I like to poke people in their belly buttons, but once I poked one of my coworker's in her belly button and she got a little too so I issued myself Cease and Desist order until find a less invasive way of getting a rise.

Figuratively: I like to poke people and sometimes they get mad at me, then I'm like I probably shouldn't have done that, but meh. I get bored easily.

I probably wouldn't invade someone's personal space unless I knew them very well, and even then I would be hesitant. I'm not really into poking physically. I only poke people figuratively if I know them well, and know they can take it. Otherwise I'm very respectful and formal.

Isn't it interesting to see how despite all being NF's, we differ from each other?

 

[Pseudonym_Alpha]

1. they tend to be oversensitive
2. they tend to be revengeful
3. they tend to dissect every word I say to smell whether there is some hidden agenda or conspiracy going on behind their backs

Over-sensitive i would agree with, but revengeful? well i know at least that im not revengeful which is a good thing.

As for the whole conspiracy, its more of an anxiety towards possibilities for me anyway.

 

[scantilyclad]

1)Afraid to show pride/too modest
2)Take things very personally sometimes when no insult was intended at all
3)Unorganized!

yeah that's pretty accurate
but i like my flaws, and do no think they make me suck. =)

 

[wildcat]

1. they tend to be oversensitive
2. they tend to be revengeful
3. they tend to dissect every word I say to smell whether there is some hidden agenda or conspiracy going on behind their backs

smell?

a fragrance?
an aroma?
a scent?

I plead also guilty.

 

[shen]

1. they tend to be oversensitive
2. they tend to be revengeful
3. they tend to dissect every word I say to smell whether there is some hidden agenda or conspiracy going on behind their backs

1. its because were perfectionists and are born angels
2 tears! weapons of mass destruction....
3. its those little ticking minds of yours, strategies, plans, :steam: hehe and were frightened of missing something

 

[INTJMom]

1. they tend to be oversensitive
2. they tend to be revengeful
3. they tend to dissect every word I say to smell whether there is some hidden agenda or conspiracy going on behind their backs

I thought conspiracy theories were a "P" thing.

 

[shen]

Over-sensitive i would agree with, but revengeful? well i know at least that im not revengeful which is a good thing.

As for the whole conspiracy, its more of an anxiety towards possibilities for me anyway.

i'm not revengeful either, never have been. the conspiracy bit tends to happen when i get confused, mixed signals or when i smell a rat!