Thursday May 1

[heart]

I am really thinking about making this blog buddy list only, I would include anyone who has ever responded here and the people I normally PM with on a regular basis, but I often feel that despite my reluctance to want to belive it is true, I edit myself here.

I don't think anyone else has done this yet and I it would probably offend people. No matter what someone is going to get offended somewhere, nothing can change that.

So there is something wrong with the car and husband had to use his vacation day to go and take it to get fixed. He could fix it himself if we still lived in our house, but here in the apts just no where to tear the car down and work on it. So he is in a mood over all those aspects. He will have to rent a car. None of this sets well with him.

I found a piece of historical information I was needing, so I feel effective for once.

I am never sure how much of my frustration in life comes from the exhaustion and how much comes from me. I want to do so many things but when I try I often am ineffective, tire out early, make mistakes, etc.

Never can know how more effective I would be with a normal amount of energy like I used to have. (See I want to be able to be more honest about myself and my doubts without having some snarky lurker saying "Oh she thinks she has *special problems* unique to herself. I hate that about myself, the need for harmony with others, screw others and their assinine opinions, their petty opinions don't really matter! Well, I hate the conflict, I hate that I hate the conflict, I just want to get away from people and no I really like people and Gosh they are all so irritating and ugh! )


I feel slightly better today, less muscle pain overall, eyes better today, light not hurting them today, no nausea so far. I have been sleeping about 12-14 hours a day this week and getting very little done and not able to focus on anything but the most trivial of things...

I hate this the most of all, as introvert I rely on my thinking/imagination world to keep my gusto for life going and when I cannot think well, I become so freaking bored and depressed with life...so I am glad that today I am eased up some and can use my mind some, my personal playground.

 

[disregard]

Yeah, do what you want to do! I have had some snarky lurkers cramp my style, and it definitely turns on the inhibition sprinklers.

 

[disregard]

.double post

 

[heart]

I am going to do it, but it will take me a while to compile the buddy list. Probably next week. It seems attractive to me as an idea.

I don't think it *should* offend anyone and probably the people who might speak up and say they were offended are not even contributors to my blog and don't really care anyway. KWIM?

 

[heart]

I am going to do it, but it will take me a while to compile the buddy list. Probably next week. It seems attractive to me as an idea.

I don't think it *should* offend anyone and probably the people who might speak up and say they were offended are not even contributors to my blog and don't really care anyway. KWIM?

 

[disregard]

IKWYM.

If someone gets offended, then they need to find better things to do with their time than to weep over perceived offenses on their ego.

 

[heart]

The idea would be to go more intensive as opposed to being extensive just here in the blog. That's the main desirible aspect that makes me want to do it.

 

[proteanmix]

Sometimes when you have a blog and you tend to reveal more of your personal feelings, you don't want anybody and everybody commenting on it except people you trust and you've established a rapport with. Although it's usually very nice to have someone interested in you enough to comment on your blog. I think it has a lot to do with the mood the blog owner creates on their blog. There is a display aspect to the blogs that I've noticed. I really like this new format because it feels more intimate and not open for public viewing although I know that just as many people can see the blog if they want to.

Some commentary doesn't really add any fresh perspectives to your feelings or situation, it's just commiseration. Commiseration is good sometimes, but other times you want something more. Like an analysis or something to challenge you in a helpful way.

Ultimately, I guess it depends what you want your blog to be, if you want it to be a place to express your feelings without having to censor yourself because you're concerned about turning someone off. If you feel like you're having to censor too much or at all, then definitely make the blog setting something that you're comfortable with. Hopefully no one will take it personally, and if they do at least you know where you stand with one another.

 

[Geoff]

Ya, and in any case that's what the option is there for. One important question though, what's KWIM?

 

[Tallulah]

Geoff-- Know What I Mean

I think it's a perfectly reasonable thing--if someone wants to be included, they could PM you and explain that they're a lurker but enjoy your blog, or whatever.

 

[heart]

...Some commentary doesn't really add any fresh perspectives to your feelings or situation, it's just commiseration. Commiseration is good sometimes, but other times you want something more. Like an analysis or something to challenge you in a helpful way...

I don't think blogging is always done to seek advice, commiseration or challenge, but something else.

When I read a blog, unless the author specifically asks a question, I assume they are blogging to express themselves and post it to be both heard and hopefully understood.

So often in our lives we feel we cannot expose our emotions in this blunt way because of hurting others, offending others or making ourselves too vulnerable, but online, behind a screen name it seems less threatening to do so and can be a relief valve when things get too tight in life.

When I give a it is most often my way of saying, you have been heard and understood as best as I can as reader.

There is something about expressing thoughts outwards and knowing that there is the chance they will be read, makes the thoughts more *real* in a way.

The best help I get from others are those who are willing to share their own perspectives on similar events in their lives. Ne likes the random information, very stimulating. Sometimes this is why I post threads on the main board, to get this kind of random, stimulating information from others.

Information can be helpful to me even when I don't agree with it or don't apply it to my situation, information about human concerns is always stimulating to me, it is vital to my being to get this information and it is what leads me into social interactions most of the time. The information on how other's see and experience things, fuels my empathy.

I never really understand why others get upset with "emo-ism" in blogs. To me, it is a gift the other person is giving me, they share their deepest, rawest emotions without censure and I benefit from it because of the information it gives me about the human condition, whether it is good, bad, ugly, beautiful, doesn't matter. It all has value.