Three days to settle a wager - fidelia's e type

[Fidelia]

I've considered that, but like 1 and 9, there are things that don't fit. It and 2 are about the only remote possibilities other than 1 and 9 though. I get on very well with 6s, but the ones I've met feel different than me, although we also all have been very different mbti types.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

I've considered that, but like 1 and 9, there are things that don't fit. It and 2 are about the only remote possibilities other than 1 and 9 though. I get on very well with 6s, but the ones I've met feel different than me, although we also all have been very different enneagram types.

I see nothing disqualifying you as a 9. You just don't feel like a 1 to me.

Have you ever been at unhealthy states? Which enneagram unhealthy state is most likely how you would act?

 

[Fidelia]

Whoops, I meant to quote.
[MENTION=5999]PeaceBaby[/MENTION], I agree with parts. I I do have a temper, although honestly, I have less occasion on here to express it. You and I have disagreed at times, and at times I've felt irritated that you didn't seem to recognize that our kind of relationship didn't have sufficient foundation or reason for the type of introspection you wanted me to do WITH you guiding me through it. You've felt discounted because I didn't response readily to your style of delivery even though others may have made similar observations that I treated more openly.

I feel badly about that, but I don't think that it was anger fueling those decisions. I just felt that if someone wasn't willing to respect the extent of discourse I wanted, then they weren't someone I was going to look to for guidance in that arena, even though I have great respect for you in other areas of expertise and like you even.

I'd say I'd be more okay now with you making any observations you want about me and I'd be more open, but still feel that some of your perceptions are coloured by your own needs or wishes. I tend to choose no and dig my heels in if someone tries to force an ultimatum on me, but if they approach with less worry about the outcome, I usually become more open, especially over time.

Thank you for the link! I did find that interesting. I think I try to contain my anger when it arises so it can be safely disposed of elsewhere instelad of on unsuspecting bystanders. What I really struggle with though is frustration and anger that is ongoing, as with some situations in my family life. I've tried to deal with it rationally, but it still causes harm to me, even when I have someone to talk about it with. Exercise helps get rid of tension, but doesn't address the root which is frustration that something isn't working.

I'm finding that tears of futility are the most effective thing in allowing adaptation to occur and as I allow myself to do that more, it seems to stay closer to the surface and is discharged more easily. I'm seeing more value in the process of dealing with emotions, and their role in alerting us to problems rather than trying to bypass them because of the amount of energy they soak uup. As I've been able to cry more about it, I also find that emotions that are negative are taking less out of me, and therefore are less bothersome or harrowing. I'm taking more chances because I feel like I have more resources to adapt or process if I do become upset, rather than just constantly trying to avoid whatever I find upsetting in my external environment.

Certainly I don't have this whole thing cased. It's something of a recent experiment for me, but in the process, I feel much lighter and less tired.

I think in terms of anger, I usually am aware there is a problem, but have no idea whether it's urgent or not urgent until I'm already quite upset. It's like the gauge on the gas tank is totally meaningless or broken. Often I assume my anger is my problem because I'm not sure whether it's fleeting or part of a larger ni pattern that I'm not consciously registering yet, but which valid. You are right though that in certain circumstances when I think people are in the wrong or are not listening to the boundaries of invitation I have, I will let my frustration out, but in a controlled sort of way. It is very intentional, rather than reactive.

I probably would say I feel more comfortable crying in front of someone rather than letting them have all of my negative thoughts about them in an uncensored form.

 

[Fidelia]

Oh yeah, one other thing - I think shame tends to be a bigger emotion with me than guilt or even anger. I feel embarrassed easily, and I also am very aware of inconsistencies when my behaviour doesn't add up with what I say I think. I'm more upset about the other things that people might notice and point out as inconsistent than I am about what I have or haven't gotten done, etc. My mom feels guilty about an unbelievable amount of things that no one else woukd think twice about, whereas I think I'm a bit more philosophical about those types of things, but deadly afraid of being called out on the places where I already feel I've messed up in a way that matters to me. Or. Maybe it's all the same thing. My mom just feels badly about some things I don't. Maybe it's just a highly level of sensitivity.

 

[Cloudpatrol]

[MENTION=7111]fidelia[/MENTION],

Thank you for the kind invitation.

My appreciation for you motivates me to want to contribute. I give the qualifier that I am at ‘infant level’ knowledge of enneagram and can only weigh in as a novice. Hope I can express my thoughts in a way that make sense.

I sense more ‘healthy’ attributes to you then ‘weaknesses’. I don’t mean that weak spots aren’t present. I mean that I think you are mindful about being self-aware and soliciting feedback. That you will apply action to such and process it into a result. And, that this is evident in your overall bearing.

Because of that I “sense” more of a possible 9 from your forum interaction. You are socially beneficent as illustrated by your recently returning to mod. You share, advise and consult.

Some of the things you have said indicate it is easier for you to consider mental priorities than tangible physical ones. I think you have a spiritual yearning. Literally spiritual and also in the sense of merging inter-personal connection.

I also feel aspects of “1” could be present. I have told you before that you were one of a few people whose post’s motivated me to go from ‘lurker’ to ‘member’. I always wondered though why you contributed so significantly to INFJ topics and less to other’s?

I wondered if it was because you felt more capable of “KNOWING of what you spoke” in that regard? That you were friendly and open but preferred a secure social role? (I apologize for not asking you about this before as I may be totally off base and you had other reasons entirely…)

I also could see from how you have described family responsibilities (or opportunities ;P) on the forum that you could be tightly linked in to the 1 aspect of sacrificing elements of self, or at least focusing on family and home. Control through ‘doing the right thing’.

Even though I perceive the 9 aspects more, if I had to put money on it I would bet for 1. Simply because I think you are almost preternaturally self-aware and you know your weaknesses best.

I valued what [MENTION=7254]Wind Up Rex[/MENTION] said in Post #8.

 

[Fidelia]

Hey, you voted [MENTION=8074]Seymour[/MENTION]! I haven't seen you around for awhile, but I'd find it interesting to see what your have to say as well, if you are up to it!

[MENTION=27162]Cloudpatrol[/MENTION]
I think there's a couple of reasons I've posted so much about Infjs and about relationships. Often, talking is the way I refine my ideas. I think Ni takes a lot of ideas and mulches them together and then adds other elements to make it a whole new product entirely that has a very personal stamp, but the process is time consuming, so usually you start with what you have the most experience with, what is most interesting to you, where you have the most info available and the most opportunity to experiment. And often, the range of subjects is more limited for that reason.

However, i also don't want to be incorrect or presumptuous when talking about other people whose types are less familiar. I'm not very trusting of my real life typing skills, except for a very few, so I can less confidently make observations. I've found it very interesting to benefit from the quick reading skills of Ne users which I lack.

The other problem is that I do not live in a place and am not at an age where i come across a large stream of new adults to interact with and observe. Despite being very social, I'm also introverted, which further limits the volume of people I have a chance to observe closely.

 

[Pionart]

Out of the brief interaction we had, I had an even briefer vibe of INFP e6 from you, however I think I did get an IJ (probably INFJ) and probably 1 vibe later on.

I feel like I should know your MBTI and Enneagram types, given how much time I've spent on MBTI forums and given that we've interacted. So, the first sentence is just my previous vibes I've gotten from you, rather than a more current assessment.

 

[PeaceBaby]

All of these things I know about you point towards a 1 vs a 9. I know 9s. I don't believe they think like this.

9s don't think like what? They don't care about the wellbeing of others? They don't want to make the problems of the world better? 9s don't have standards? 9s don't consider how to help the people around them? 9s aren't analytical problem solvers?

Your post, although lovely, conflates behaviours with emotional patterns and thinking patterns too. None of the things in that paragraph above apply solely to any particular enneagram type, nor to any given MBTI type for that matter. Anyone can want to make the world a better place.

 

[Fidelia]

PB, what kind of flavour do you feel like 9s exude? Most I know are infps, so I'm not sure how much is type and how much is enneagram. I expect you probably know a wider range than I do.

 

[Fidelia]

Out of the brief interaction we had, I had an even briefer vibe of INFP e6 from you, however I think I did get an IJ (probably INFJ) and probably 1 vibe later on.

I feel like I should know your MBTI and Enneagram types, given how much time I've spent on MBTI forums and given that we've interacted. So, the first sentence is just my previous vibes I've gotten from you, rather than a more current assessment.

Interesting! Can you tell me what felt sixish or oneish?

 

[Fidelia]

[MENTION=9627]Xann[/MENTION]! I see you voted. Can you expand on why you voted that way?

 

[Xann]

@Xann! I see you voted. Can you expand on why you voted that way?

I'm going purely on my own intuitive extrapolation here, based on vibes, which you may appreciate as an INFJ, unsure.

1. Avatar: You've had this avatar for quite a while now, which signifies that you relate with it an awful lot and have for a longstanding psychological period. The eyes as well as confident mouth display a calm unflinching perseverance in the face of the great unknown external forces (the ocean, the wind, the sunshine, all clearly on display) signifying you are a source of internal strength that exudes order and peace through forbearance and example rather than through direct action. If the hands were visible, or the woman was making a visible motion or signifying any other theme other than passive endurance and resistance, it would be more in favor of 1>9 but this is not so. Your avatar also seems to signify this quote from the enneagram institute site regarding 9's: At their Best: indomitable and all-embracing, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts.

2. Your name: Fidelia. fi·del·i·ty
fəˈdelədē/
noun
faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support.
"he sought only the strictest fidelity to justice"
synonyms: loyalty, allegiance, obedience; More
sexual faithfulness to a spouse or partner.
synonyms: faithfulness, loyalty, constancy; More
the degree of exactness with which something is copied or reproduced.
"the 1949 recording provides reasonable fidelity"
synonyms: accuracy, exactness, precision, preciseness, correctness; strictness, closeness, faithfulness, authenticity
"the fidelity of the reproduction"

Loyalty (to a greater cause, usually via peace as this tends to be the highest for a 9) is the root source of strength and virtue of this type.

3. Your longstanding user title: Iron Maiden

A medieval torture device consisting of an iron cabinet with a hinged front and a spike-covered interior. Even if you were completely ignorant of the historical use of this word, the subconscious connotations as one who sought to end internal conflict through internal strength rather than through external change is also signified by the literal understanding "maiden of iron". The only way to survive one of these torture devices would have been through virtually being harder than the physical force of the spikes themselves. If you were a 1 rather than a 9, the spikes signifying your own personal power/struggle would have been directed outward rather than inward signifying a personal preference for external change rather than through example via internal change as I observe of you throughout your forum history.

 

[chubber]

1. tend to adopt more of a “live and let live” attitude when it comes to the petty vices
2. welcome emotional overwhelm?

 

[EJCC]

Oh yeah, one other thing - I think shame tends to be a bigger emotion with me than guilt or even anger. I feel embarrassed easily, and I also am very aware of inconsistencies when my behaviour doesn't add up with what I say I think. I'm more upset about the other things that people might notice and point out as inconsistent than I am about what I have or haven't gotten done, etc. My mom feels guilty about an unbelievable amount of things that no one else woukd think twice about, whereas I think I'm a bit more philosophical about those types of things, but deadly afraid of being called out on the places where I already feel I've messed up in a way that matters to me. Or. Maybe it's all the same thing. My mom just feels badly about some things I don't. Maybe it's just a highly level of sensitivity.

This sounds very 1 to me.

 

[highlander]

9s don't think like what? They don't care about the wellbeing of others? They don't want to make the problems of the world better? 9s don't have standards? 9s don't consider how to help the people around them? 9s aren't analytical problem solvers? Your post, although lovely, conflates behaviours with emotional patterns and thinking patterns too. None of the things in that paragraph above apply solely to any particular enneagram type, nor to any given MBTI type for that matter. Anyone can want to make the world a better place.

Well regardless I am still confident in my conclusion

I formed an impression when I met her in person once. Intuition. Also when I read the 9 profile on the site here and think about what she is like I'm like no, no, no, not that, no....

 

[Tater]

i'd just like to add a few points:
-despite their tendency towards sloth, enneagram 9s are often described as conscientious. 'supportive','agreeable','reliable' are traits associated with this type, which could easily come together to form conscientiousness.
-social enneagram 9s tend to act as representatives for their groups. they take on viewpoints of other members, preserve the integrity of the group, and effectively communicate to outsiders at the perimeter. from what i've seen of your posts, you often represent others' viewpoints in a similar way. you seem to take bits and pieces of other posts and build a comprehensive middle-ground. even when you're only speaking from your personal experience, you don't rock the boat.
-you're not reactive like 1s on the forum here. for example, if something triggers [MENTION=20829]Hard[/MENTION] , he will sometimes sledgehammer the person on the other end of the interaction until the issue is resolved. i've never seen you do this.
-2 is an interesting hypotheses, but i don't think i've ever seen you use flattery or any other device to gain acceptance.

 

[Fidelia]

I'm going purely on my own intuitive extrapolation here, based on vibes, which you may appreciate as an INFJ, unsure.

1. Avatar: You've had this avatar for quite a while now, which signifies that you relate with it an awful lot and have for a longstanding psychological period. The eyes as well as confident mouth display a calm unflinching perseverance in the face of the great unknown external forces (the ocean, the wind, the sunshine, all clearly on display) signifying you are a source of internal strength that exudes order and peace through forbearance and example rather than through direct action. If the hands were visible, or the woman was making a visible motion or signifying any other theme other than passive endurance and resistance, it would be more in favor of 1>9 but this is not so. Your avatar also seems to signify this quote from the enneagram institute site regarding 9's: At their Best: indomitable and all-embracing, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts.

2. Your name: Fidelia. fi·del·i·ty
fəˈdelədē/
noun
faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support.
"he sought only the strictest fidelity to justice"
synonyms: loyalty, allegiance, obedience; More
sexual faithfulness to a spouse or partner.
synonyms: faithfulness, loyalty, constancy; More
the degree of exactness with which something is copied or reproduced.
"the 1949 recording provides reasonable fidelity"
synonyms: accuracy, exactness, precision, preciseness, correctness; strictness, closeness, faithfulness, authenticity
"the fidelity of the reproduction"

Loyalty (to a greater cause, usually via peace as this tends to be the highest for a 9) is the root source of strength and virtue of this type.

3. Your longstanding user title: Iron Maiden

A medieval torture device consisting of an iron cabinet with a hinged front and a spike-covered interior. Even if you were completely ignorant of the historical use of this word, the subconscious connotations as one who sought to end internal conflict through internal strength rather than through external change is also signified by the literal understanding "maiden of iron". The only way to survive one of these torture devices would have been through virtually being harder than the physical force of the spikes themselves. If you were a 1 rather than a 9, the spikes signifying your own personal power/struggle would have been directed outward rather than inward signifying a personal preference for external change rather than through example via internal change as I observe of you throughout your forum history.

The second definitely makes sense.

My first avatar was a funny looking old man with a violin. People complained about it. I found him kind of endearing. I think I chose this one when I was looking for curly/wavy hair styles, and I thought the girl was super pretty and interesting looking. People liked it. And I didn't find anything I liked better. One person even said that whenever I inevitably changed it, they would miss her. So I kept it.

As far as the Iron Maiden thing, it was a joke - I think Jennifer changed it for me. It was during the Fe/Fi wars and she wrote it as a reference to Fe being iron on the periodic table. It kind of tickled me, especially as several people assumed that I was an enthusiast of the early 80s hairband, which most people in my acquaintance woukd find ridiculous and absurd. In any case, I never ended up changing it. It was only when looking at torture devices in a place in Edinburgh that I had even thought about the fact that the band was named after an instrument of torture.

I think your explanations sound cooler though!

 

[Fidelia]

Oh yeah [MENTION=7]Totenkindly[/MENTION]! Let's hear from you, if you would!

 

[Z Buck McFate]

Hey fid, this may be useful- Enneagram Institute has a list of reasons certain enneagram types might misidentify as other types.

In particular: misidentifying 9s and 1s

eta: You know, to maybe bring back to the thread and explain why you lean one way or the other.

After reading the 'misidentifying 1 and 6', I'm leaning toward 1 one. Imma vote!

 

[Fidelia]

1. tend to adopt more of a “live and let live” attitude when it comes to the petty vices
2. welcome emotional overwhelm?

You voted for other. What do you think?