INFtha14
:)
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2008
- Messages
- 1,844
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 6w7
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
I'd like to hide under a rock at times to be honest.
Merely my nerves and frustration with the transition overall and everything that comes along with it.
Okay... that felt good. I had alittle crying session as I'm realizing I'm changing.
I actually am not minding so much having to have deadlines and stuff
.
When as a teen I liked to shirk things and could easily go the whole day just chillin out. Now It's like wow, I'm changing... my friends are changing. It's all changing. For the better, just woah what a scary thought
.
What really made me happy today was when I cried like a kid over the squirrels cuddling together yesterday. I haven't felt like that in awhile. That deep connection with nature and it's beautiful creatures. I felt love in my heart that lately has seemed like I've had a wall up to. I wanted to protect those little creatures. They brought me back to myself. A more mature and balanced "me". Every living thing has a purpose and I will not forget those squirrels for they touched my heart like it hasn't been touched in a while.
Unfortunately I have hardened my heart ever since I've experienced some things. But I think the hard armor I've had around cracked last night. My walls came down... no fear, no reservations just pure love for those creatures.
What a beautiful feeling to be reunited with my basic nature. I'm a passionate woman who feels deeply, loves and cares deeply for all living things. Nothing is felt lightly and from now I will not deny myself this wonderful and transforming feeling which reintroduces me to who I am. Just because I will eventually get older, doesn't mean the walls around my heart have to get thicker at the same time. Balance obviously is key I will not deny myself that raw emotive intensity that makes me "me".
I think that's what's been missing. Seeing my dad pass away in front of me, seeing my cat die in front of me made me without noticing to put a wall around my heart thinking I need to protect it from pain. But how is that truly living if I'm denying my most intricate part of myself? That I am passionate and deeply sensitive LOL. Maybe too sensitive haha! *As I've been told by family members
*
I'm back. Just a more mature developed version of how I was as a kid. Step one to true healing.
Merely my nerves and frustration with the transition overall and everything that comes along with it.
Okay... that felt good. I had alittle crying session as I'm realizing I'm changing.
I actually am not minding so much having to have deadlines and stuff
. When as a teen I liked to shirk things and could easily go the whole day just chillin out. Now It's like wow, I'm changing... my friends are changing. It's all changing. For the better, just woah what a scary thought
.What really made me happy today was when I cried like a kid over the squirrels cuddling together yesterday. I haven't felt like that in awhile. That deep connection with nature and it's beautiful creatures. I felt love in my heart that lately has seemed like I've had a wall up to. I wanted to protect those little creatures. They brought me back to myself. A more mature and balanced "me". Every living thing has a purpose and I will not forget those squirrels for they touched my heart like it hasn't been touched in a while
.Unfortunately I have hardened my heart ever since I've experienced some things. But I think the hard armor I've had around cracked last night. My walls came down... no fear, no reservations just pure love for those creatures.
What a beautiful feeling to be reunited with my basic nature. I'm a passionate woman who feels deeply, loves and cares deeply for all living things. Nothing is felt lightly and from now I will not deny myself this wonderful and transforming feeling which reintroduces me to who I am. Just because I will eventually get older, doesn't mean the walls around my heart have to get thicker at the same time. Balance obviously is key I will not deny myself that raw emotive intensity that makes me "me".
I think that's what's been missing. Seeing my dad pass away in front of me, seeing my cat die in front of me made me without noticing to put a wall around my heart thinking I need to protect it from pain. But how is that truly living if I'm denying my most intricate part of myself? That I am passionate and deeply sensitive LOL. Maybe too sensitive haha! *As I've been told by family members
*I'm back
. Just a more mature developed version of how I was as a kid. Step one to true healing.
