Chimerical
Permabanned
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2008
- Messages
- 898
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 1w5
Ben, my older brother.
When we were growing up he did a lot of stuff I hate him for now. I wish I knew what the hell was going on then. I was being conditioned into a way of thinking I now know is wrong, he just let it happened and guided it along.
My memory is a lot better than his will every be. When I recall tiny details he'll make fun of me for it. This is how it was growing up. So I got into the habbit of never letting someone know I had a good memory because I thought it was a bad thing. I understand it's a good thing now, but I still hold back a bit as a conditioned reaction.
Basically I was really different from him and he always let me know I was inferior.
Recently me and my immediate family went on a trip to Detroit to visit the rest of my family. I hadn't been around my family like this in a long long time. There was no way to not be around them the whole trip. I got very depressed, and Ben never changed. This made me more depressed. Mainly because I understand he's an asshole and I know he's wrong, but I feel like shit anyway.
After the whole deal, when I came back home I didn't talk to anyone for a while. I don't trust people again... I feel pretty horrible.
So far, Ben is the only person I haven't been able to forgive.
When we were growing up he did a lot of stuff I hate him for now. I wish I knew what the hell was going on then. I was being conditioned into a way of thinking I now know is wrong, he just let it happened and guided it along.
My memory is a lot better than his will every be. When I recall tiny details he'll make fun of me for it. This is how it was growing up. So I got into the habbit of never letting someone know I had a good memory because I thought it was a bad thing. I understand it's a good thing now, but I still hold back a bit as a conditioned reaction.
Basically I was really different from him and he always let me know I was inferior.
Recently me and my immediate family went on a trip to Detroit to visit the rest of my family. I hadn't been around my family like this in a long long time. There was no way to not be around them the whole trip. I got very depressed, and Ben never changed. This made me more depressed. Mainly because I understand he's an asshole and I know he's wrong, but I feel like shit anyway.
After the whole deal, when I came back home I didn't talk to anyone for a while. I don't trust people again... I feel pretty horrible.
So far, Ben is the only person I haven't been able to forgive.
