Chimerical
Permabanned
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2008
- Messages
- 898
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 1w5
The other day.
I'm free and happy! I sang and danced, talked to everyone I saw out of impulse. I felt great inside. I was myself.
Recently.
I've been frustrated sexually. I don't understand why no one likes me. Initially I didn't allow the chains of depression to bind me. . o O (Just move on to the next person). The next few weren't interested either.
Inside.
I fight the feeling. I don't want this, not now! I was doing so well. Ack! I need alone time!!! I don't want that! I want to be around people, but they're making me sad. Cue the introversion.
NO! people are bothering me! STOP! Leave me alone!
[Feeling systems offline. Initiating logical defense system. Impersonal, rational thoughts decrease the probabilty of negative emotion.]
[INITIATING JUDGEMENT. A PLAN OF ACTION IS REQUIRED.]
Before.
I was free! I was happy. I loved people! I was a kid. Easy going, loved to run. Enjoyed my siblings. Then it started...
He would say mean things about me that weren't true when we had guests over! They joked around and made fun of me. I was a kid, I didn't understand.
I got really good at basketball! We'd try to beat Dad. I got better than him when I was 7, he was 8. He got really upset the first time I won. He made fun of me all day. I stopped playing, basketball was no fun anymore.
I made friends he didn't know. He befriended them too, it started over again. The lies. I made friends he wasn't going to want to talk to. The only one he didn't intervien with was Meredith. I wished I had more friends...
.
Mother and the baby.
I was 9. Till then the issue was my older brother and his lies. Not standing up for myself lost me friends and basketball. This was worse!
I had wanted a little sister since I was 4. A brother was fine. I loved him, made him laugh first. His first word was "Nicky." I always tip toed in the room to make sure he was safe when he slept. Mom yelled at me! She said I was trying to wake him up! To be contiued...
I'm free and happy! I sang and danced, talked to everyone I saw out of impulse. I felt great inside. I was myself.
Recently.
I've been frustrated sexually. I don't understand why no one likes me. Initially I didn't allow the chains of depression to bind me. . o O (Just move on to the next person). The next few weren't interested either.
Inside.
I fight the feeling. I don't want this, not now! I was doing so well. Ack! I need alone time!!! I don't want that! I want to be around people, but they're making me sad. Cue the introversion.
NO! people are bothering me! STOP! Leave me alone!
[Feeling systems offline. Initiating logical defense system. Impersonal, rational thoughts decrease the probabilty of negative emotion.]
[INITIATING JUDGEMENT. A PLAN OF ACTION IS REQUIRED.]
Before.
I was free! I was happy. I loved people! I was a kid. Easy going, loved to run. Enjoyed my siblings. Then it started...
He would say mean things about me that weren't true when we had guests over! They joked around and made fun of me. I was a kid, I didn't understand.
I got really good at basketball! We'd try to beat Dad. I got better than him when I was 7, he was 8. He got really upset the first time I won. He made fun of me all day. I stopped playing, basketball was no fun anymore.
I made friends he didn't know. He befriended them too, it started over again. The lies. I made friends he wasn't going to want to talk to. The only one he didn't intervien with was Meredith. I wished I had more friends...
.Mother and the baby.
I was 9. Till then the issue was my older brother and his lies. Not standing up for myself lost me friends and basketball. This was worse!
I had wanted a little sister since I was 4. A brother was fine. I loved him, made him laugh first. His first word was "Nicky." I always tip toed in the room to make sure he was safe when he slept. Mom yelled at me! She said I was trying to wake him up! To be contiued...
